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Had a dream that I had a few great friends at uni... made me depressed when I woke up Watch

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    • Thread Starter

    Hi guys,

    So in 2 weeks I would have finished my first year at university. Although I do speak to my flatmates occassionally, (although I tend to avoid them because 1) I feel as though I have social anxiety and 2) I don't have much in common with them), and I have a friend who invites me out to do stuff, I feel like I've made no "friends for life" at uni so far. Last night I had a dream that one of my best friends from home, an acquaintance from my secondary school and another random guy went to my university and we were having a great time together. It's quite depressing to me that this doesn't happen in real life. There are occasions where it could happen (e.g. when my friend invites me out) but I tend to make excuses due to anxiety. Therefore I tend to just spend my whole day lying in bed which is not what I really want. University is supposed to be enjoyable, and whilst some of it has been, I would say I've had more downs than ups. I just get a bit jealous when people on Facebook are like "I've made such great people here, thanks for the wonderful first year of uni" because I can't really say that. Some people I know are even going on holiday with people they've met at uni.
    I do want to start going out more with my friend, as this would result in making more friends, but as I said I feel as though I have social anxiety, and I'm not really into clubbing, and that seems like the only thing he invites me to. I've been out with him a couple of times, but I find that I always have to drink lots of alcohol beforehand so I'm not so anxious. Also, with exams coming up, I don't think I'll be able to go out with them until next year as I was planning on leaving a couple of days after my exams. It would be a bad thing to end my 1st year of uni experience on, knowing that I haven't been out with friends since like early March.
    So, any advice? I feel like going to the doctors about my social anxiety situation. But it's just annoying because I made an effort at the beginning of the year but anybody who I tried to make friends with kind of just pushed me away.

    Nobody is expecting you to make 'friends for life' at Uni. When you graduate, you will all apply to different jobs and all return home. you won't live in each others pockets. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but don't become obsessed over it.
    I haven't kept in touch with anyone from my degree or MA - Yeah, they're on FB but we're all just getting on with our lives. Nobody's crying.

    You health is important, go and see a Dr. It's always better to share any concerns that to ignore them, better yet, your Uni will have a student support system in place. Have a chat with them, you won't be alone. They may have some specific advice to your uni.

    If you're not into clubs etc. why not suggest something else?
    Eg, Make a general knowledge/fun/silly quiz on 'GetKahoot', ask your roommates to invite a +1 and chill at your house, or get a few board games from a charity shop and hold a gaming night.

    Join some clubs at uni - extra-curricular always looks good on the CV, and you'll find like-minded people that you could potentially live with next year. Are there people on your course that seem cool? Ask to share notes, or revise together?

    Are you more of a pub guy? The one who keeps inviting you out clubbing- don't make him feel like you're avoiding him, so go for a drink? Sometimes I prefer that to parties and binge drinking and panic attacks. My brother didn't get along with anyone at uni, but he got a part time job with an English-teaching company and met loads of new people and his social life boosted. Now he goes traveling to meet them all! None of them came from uni!
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Updated: April 30, 2016
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