I feel like I'm falling apart

I'm writing this at midnight because I am at breaking point. For the last few months I have been feeling anxiety which was only recently diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. Therefore my doctor decided to take me off my anti-depressants. I have now been taking them on-off for the last week but have not come completely off them yet.

I am 18 and on a gap year before university. At the moment I am working a full time job in a shoe shop which I really dislike but there is no point leaving as I am going in 3 months. In the last week my anxiety has increased and one day last week I wasn't able to go to work. I am now so ill that I can't sleep properly making working a lot worse. I am also either having headaches or backaches. I am extremely snappy and several times have had to control myself from flying into a rage and hurting someone. I keep having cold sweats which I can't explain. I am extremely emotional and keep crying. I can't face going into work every day and dealing with customers but I have to, as I can't take any more days off sick. I don't get on well with my co-workers as I feel that they talk about me behind my back (in fact I have heard them do it). The only way to make myself feel happy is to spend all my money making working pointless.

This is not like me at all, as usually I am a calm happy person so I hate what is happening to me. The only bright spot in my life is my boyfriend. I cope with everything by taking Kalms and Bach's Rescue Remedy far too much. Tomorrow I will probably be tired as I can't sleep tonight. I don't know what to do.

Reply 1

ameliajay

hello.

First of all, you're getting no sleep which is making this entire situation worse. This means you'll be getting very emotional and crying will come easily. I'm not really a doctor but I have some ideas,

Maybe you could start doing a sport of somesort, this might give you a goal and exercise might help you sleep. Also, it's good for you! Watching what you eat, lot's of rubbish might make you feel rubbish.

Or if the idea of sport makes you cringe you could start some sort of project or hobby or book or something. If you can let out what you're keeping in.

Hey maybe kick boxing or something, get out some anger and learn self defence at the same time!

I hope it works out for you

Amelia

Reply 2

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

I suffer from a bit of anxiety as a result of being bullied and for me it has developed into full on depression. I find that trying to relax is the best thing for me, though often difficult for me as I haven't yet found a way to get rid of the negative thoughts that go around me head (and sometimes make it impossible for me to sleep). Walking is good for me as it gives me a chance to be alone, get some fresh air, and also exercise. I also listen to music a lot, though my mind is quite active when I'm listening to music and I tend to overanalyse things such as song lyrics.

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