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Reply 2
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Reply 3
I am in the same siituation OP.
My "stepdad" married my mum and I never met him. I knew of him obviously but I never lived with him talked etc.
I want my muum to be happy but the guy doesn't even talk to me or my sister. He just stays in my mums room watches tv and doesn't have a job because he hasn't lived here for long.
Now my mum borrows loads of money from me and its pissing me off.
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread.
My "stepdad" married my mum and I never met him. I knew of him obviously but I never lived with him talked etc.
I want my muum to be happy but the guy doesn't even talk to me or my sister. He just stays in my mums room watches tv and doesn't have a job because he hasn't lived here for long.
Now my mum borrows loads of money from me and its pissing me off.
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread.
Reply 4
Anonymous
I am in the same siituation OP.
My "stepdad" married my mum and I never met him. I knew of him obviously but I never lived with him talked etc.
I want my muum to be happy but the guy doesn't even talk to me or my sister. He just stays in my mums room watches tv and doesn't have a job because he hasn't lived here for long.
Now my mum borrows loads of money from me and its pissing me off.
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread.
My "stepdad" married my mum and I never met him. I knew of him obviously but I never lived with him talked etc.
I want my muum to be happy but the guy doesn't even talk to me or my sister. He just stays in my mums room watches tv and doesn't have a job because he hasn't lived here for long.
Now my mum borrows loads of money from me and its pissing me off.
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread.
Damn! Man, I feel sorry for you. A while ago my mum started dating a jobless junkie who was often asking her for money. I tried to make her see that he was no good for her but she turned her back on me. Fortunately she's not with him anymore.
Reply 5
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I think you should talk to your mum. Maybe explain that you don't think he is good enough for her etc. then if she doesn't agree you could mention that you wouldn't mind so much if he made an effort to get to know you a bit more. Maybe she just hasn't noticed?
I hope it all works out for you!
I hope it all works out for you!
Reply 7
What a rubbish situation for you to be in. 
I would advise that when you talk to her try your very best not to be confrontational and angry. I think if you tell her that you understand that she wants to have a partner, and that you just want her to be happy, then she might be more willing to listen. Try to come accross as supportive and don't get upset with her, stay calm. Tell her just what the problems are and reassure her that you aren't in any way being selfish by trying to make her rethink her relationship, you just know that this isn't what she wants deep down. You don't want her to think that you're telling her this because you're being childish or whatever, make it clear that you aren't against the idea of her being in a relationship, but rather you are against this particular relationship. Try to convince her that being single isn't the same as being alone and that you're always going to be around for her and all that type of thing. If you think she can do better then it might help to give her self esteem a bit of a boost and explain to her just why she deserves better too.
I do feel pretty sorry for her though. It can't be nice to marry someone you don't properly care about just through fear of being single.
Sorry I can't be of more help. When my dad died I think the main thing that made my mother cope with being single for so long was that she had a group of female, single friends. They all go out together and spend christmas and new year's eve together, that type of thing. It stopped her getting lonely I think. Might it help if your mum joined a few community club things so she could make some good friends to lean on so that her happiness isn't dependent on having a partner?
really hope it works out for you, and the anon posters with family problems too.
I would advise that when you talk to her try your very best not to be confrontational and angry. I think if you tell her that you understand that she wants to have a partner, and that you just want her to be happy, then she might be more willing to listen. Try to come accross as supportive and don't get upset with her, stay calm. Tell her just what the problems are and reassure her that you aren't in any way being selfish by trying to make her rethink her relationship, you just know that this isn't what she wants deep down. You don't want her to think that you're telling her this because you're being childish or whatever, make it clear that you aren't against the idea of her being in a relationship, but rather you are against this particular relationship. Try to convince her that being single isn't the same as being alone and that you're always going to be around for her and all that type of thing. If you think she can do better then it might help to give her self esteem a bit of a boost and explain to her just why she deserves better too.
I do feel pretty sorry for her though. It can't be nice to marry someone you don't properly care about just through fear of being single.
Sorry I can't be of more help. When my dad died I think the main thing that made my mother cope with being single for so long was that she had a group of female, single friends. They all go out together and spend christmas and new year's eve together, that type of thing. It stopped her getting lonely I think. Might it help if your mum joined a few community club things so she could make some good friends to lean on so that her happiness isn't dependent on having a partner?
really hope it works out for you, and the anon posters with family problems too.
Reply 8
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Reply 9
Step-parents suck. Usually.
I reckon you should try talking to your mum , calmly, and if you get your brothers involved, then make sure it doesn't seem like you're all having a go, even if you are! Explain why you don't like him, and why you think she could do better. When my parents split up, my mum had about 4 different bfs before she met my step-dad...i don't believe in the "best i can get" thing.
Maybe explain that you're not happy with it...although it's sometimes quite dificult to avoid making parents feel guilty about children vs partners, your mum should hopefully see that it's having an impact on you.
Re him not making an effort to talk to you - try talking to him first, maybe ask what he's interested in or something. You might even find he isnt as bad as you think. My stepdad never really used to talk to us that much, and we (me and my 2 bros) never really made an effort either, but gradually we've all started to talk to one another, and we all get on much better now. Sorry to keep bringing it back to me, but i'm the only example i have!
Hope it all gets better one way or another! Good luck
I reckon you should try talking to your mum , calmly, and if you get your brothers involved, then make sure it doesn't seem like you're all having a go, even if you are! Explain why you don't like him, and why you think she could do better. When my parents split up, my mum had about 4 different bfs before she met my step-dad...i don't believe in the "best i can get" thing.
Maybe explain that you're not happy with it...although it's sometimes quite dificult to avoid making parents feel guilty about children vs partners, your mum should hopefully see that it's having an impact on you.
Re him not making an effort to talk to you - try talking to him first, maybe ask what he's interested in or something. You might even find he isnt as bad as you think. My stepdad never really used to talk to us that much, and we (me and my 2 bros) never really made an effort either, but gradually we've all started to talk to one another, and we all get on much better now. Sorry to keep bringing it back to me, but i'm the only example i have!
Hope it all gets better one way or another! Good luck
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