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I have the worst relationship with my parents and I have no friends Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
    Are you male or female?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post

    ouch
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
    Thank you for telling us about this. It is always hard to share things like this and I hope we can help you

    I have had difficulties relating with my father. Although it was hard to do, I asked him to explain what character traits of mine he finds challenging to get along with and he told me. Although it wasn't easy to hear, or necessarily accept, it did help me understand what to try and change to make our relationship better.

    Maybe try asking your parents what they find irritating about you? It will obviously be hard to hear but understanding what they find annoying about you is the best place to start!

    Regarding freinds, is there anyone who you speak to regularly, albeit superficially. Maybe ask them the same question?

    Alternatively, try telling your parents how their comments makes you feel. They may not think about the fact that there comments hurt you because they seem to undermine your intelegence, and probably do the same about your emotions. I have found that keeping things bottled up never helps. It will be painful t the start, but it may get better.

    I really hope things get better for you
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jsmith6131)
    Thank you for telling us about this. It is always hard to share things like this and I hope we can help you

    I have had difficulties relating with my father. Although it was hard to do, I asked him to explain what character traits of mine he finds challenging to get along with and he told me. Although it wasn't easy to hear, or necessarily accept, it did help me understand what to try and change to make our relationship better.

    Maybe try asking your parents what they find irritating about you? It will obviously be hard to hear but understanding what they find annoying about you is the best place to start!

    Regarding freinds, is there anyone who you speak to regularly, albeit superficially. Maybe ask them the same question?

    Alternatively, try telling your parents how their comments makes you feel. They may not think about the fact that there comments hurt you because they seem to undermine your intelegence, and probably do the same about your emotions. I have found that keeping things bottled up never helps. It will be painful t the start, but it may get better.

    I really hope things get better for you
    Thanks for the advice but I can't do that...
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by _Xenon_)
    Are you male or female?
    Why should that matter?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the advice but I can't do that...
    why not?
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by jsmith6131)
    why not?
    Because it will make matters worse.
    And I don't have the guts either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because it will make matters worse.
    And I don't have the guts either.
    I understand.

    Have you considered speaking to a councilor at school? or therapist? It may be possible to solve the situation without speaking to your parents by explaning it to someone else.
    They might be able to offer advise to help you.

    But nothing works overnight. It will take time before anything noticable changes.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jsmith6131)
    I understand.

    Have you considered speaking to a councilor at school? or therapist? It may be possible to solve the situation without speaking to your parents by explaning it to someone else.
    They might be able to offer advise to help you.

    But nothing works overnight. It will take time before anything noticable changes.
    No..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No..
    Would you want to? I don't know what sort of support your school will offer?

    Otherwise I believe you can ask your GP to provide you with a contact in the NHS. I don't know how old you are but if your older than 16 I think everything is completley confidential so you needn't worry about your parents finding out.

    I would really urge you to speak to someone professional as I really don't want you to feel the way you do. I know how hard it is and its not at all pleasant.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by jsmith6131)
    Would you want to? I don't know what sort of support your school will offer?

    Otherwise I believe you can ask your GP to provide you with a contact in the NHS. I don't know how old you are but if your older than 16 I think everything is completley confidential so you needn't worry about your parents finding out.

    I would really urge you to speak to someone professional as I really don't want you to feel the way you do. I know how hard it is and its not at all pleasant.
    I don't exactly feel that comfortable talking to some random stranger who will see me around all day or in case of the GP in a normal situation.
    Maybe I'm afraid of getting judged.
    I don't particularly trust my GP either because she's pretty close to my mum.

    Anyway, I'm sorry if I'm being unreasonable but I do appreciate your will to try and help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't exactly feel that comfortable talking to some random stranger who will see me around all day or in case of the GP in a normal situation.
    Maybe I'm afraid of getting judged.
    I don't particularly trust my GP either because she's pretty close to my mum.

    Anyway, I'm sorry if I'm being unreasonable but I do appreciate your will to try and help.
    In my school the councilor was not a normal teacher and I personally never saw them on a day-to-day basis. their office was completely out of the way.
    Your doctor has a legal duty to keep things private if you are above a certain age and I can't imaging they would breach the requireement for doctor-patient confidentility. But talking to a qualified professionl is generally easier as (a) they are less likely to be judgmental and (b) will listen to you without being critical.

    Just sharing your feelings is a good way to vent your anger
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    I have been there, the whole thing about walking around school, top to bottom.
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    My parents sound similar to yours

    I don't you but if you are African then I can hugely relate but if not then, I can still relate as I was in the same position.

    The problem is not you-there is nothing wrong with being shy.

    Work on your self esteem and make people want to be your friend-you must have something to offer.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
    I understand fully how it feels...I used to have the exact same problems from nursery all up to the age of 13/14. I had no friends at all. At the age of 12 I had three best friends, but not much after getting close to them I had to move schools and for two years I was alone. There was even a stage where the whole class ganged up on me and picked on me because "I had a squeaky voice and was really annoying" and the matter got so big that all the teachers had to get involved. I told my parents but it didn't make any difference because just as you said, they think that I am the problem. "If it's the whole class who hates you then there's something wrong with you". One thing I realised is that after what happened, this sounds weird but I watched so much anime which resulted in me gaining a lot of confidence. Whenever someone tried to put me down, I'd reply saying that I really don't care about their opinion and that I do whatever I feel like doing. After some time I gained friends and the bullying stopped. But my parents would still say the exact stuff you're saying. "Mum I'm full I don't feel like eating" .. "oh might as well die, one person less" and other stuff including the ones you just said. I don't know if it's because I come from an Arab background or because of the change in me, but it doesn't really affect me anymore. Whatever parents say they really don't mean it. They tell me to "just go die" a lot of times, but whenever I'm late home from school they get really worried about me which shows that they really love me.
    I'd suggest you open up to people in your school. Whenever you're doing a project with a group or with someone try to spark a conversation; for example asking them what music they listen to, or a conversation about weather for example "It's really sunny today, I hate summer" and carry on like that. You would then find common interests between you and the person you are talking to and you'd get friends through that way.
    Hope this helped and stay strong x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why should that matter?
    It doesn't but I know how you feel and I'm male.
    I hate when people say things like man up if you get what I mean.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
    I don't have a great relationship with my parents but this goes away at school.
    Try to find at least one person you like at school- OMG CAN I JUST PM YOU.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok it's too difficult to explain everything but I don't get along with my parents at all. I always mess up. Always.
    At least once a day.
    This morning my dad said I had no wisdom at the breakfast table because I was just playing with an apple like throwing it in the air because I was so bored.
    Then just there, I accidently spilled the water jug on the floor because I'm so ducking clumsy.
    I always do these stupid dumb things.
    My parents response is always the same:
    "You have no brain."
    "You're becoming so stupid"
    Or something Along the lines
    My mum even said last month she only looks after me because she has no other choice.
    I'm the worst child ever. Because of all this anger I am becoming angry for no reason.

    My parents hate me. I don't want to hate them but i increasingly am.

    I don't get what's wrong with me: even in school where I hide all this and pretend I'm the happiest person in the world I can't make friends. I try to be so nice and witty and what not. I invite people, try to be outgoing despite being shy and I never get anything in return. I walk around the school at lunchtimes; from top to bottom, outside and inside.
    I'm sick of being so alone.
    When I tell my mum about these problems; she tells me it's my fault: I am the one who does try hard enough; I'm the one who lets down other people; I'm the one who should make plans to meet up with potential friends.
    So this is why I never even share anything with my parents. It bottles up inside me and only releases in the form of tears.

    I don't know why I made this post
    I'm so sorry you feel like this I used to spend school lunches and frees just wandering as well, so I can relate in this respect, and I don't get along with one of my parents well, but I have the other... It must be so hard. The other comments are pretty sound advice. I hope it gets better, and feel free to PM me if you need to talk, that way it won't bottle up
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    I'm sorry you're having tough time

    Idk if this right but it might be that the way your parents are is effecting your self-confidence, which has a knock-on impact on how easily you make friends. You may just not scream 'confient!" and, school being quite a jungle, people aren't gravitating to you because they don't feel that you can offer them much support in school...

    It's hard to act confident if you don't feel it (again, maybe you feel confident, idk, I'm just sharing a possibility) - so maybe the best thing you can do if find things to build you confidence and remind yourself you're a good person. Perhaps try 'silent mantras' before going into situations (about your qualities for instance) and get involved in activities you enjoy.
 
 
 
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