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    Hi,

    A brief whistle stop tour:

    Met this guy in April 2014, a year later April 2015, we got chatting. Exchanged numbers & decided to meet for a drink. Got on well arranged for another date; dinner. Had great dinner, arranged to catch up, he came to my home. Nice evening of chatting & etc, agreed to meet again. Met again, went out for dinner, lovely evening, he came back to mine. Exchanged first kiss & he ended up spending the night. Nothing sexual happened & that was that. Arranged to see each other again; I cooked dinner, we chatted, watched tv & he stayed the night. Things got sexual, he asked for sex but I said no because I wasn't ready. Communication throughout was consistent until the not ready for sex whereby I think I dented his ego, as he himself said it felt right.

    Communication broke down & I hadn't heard from him since Oct 2015. He'd been on my mind for ages so Feb 2016, I reached out, he replied almost instantly, v happy to hear from me. He mentioned about meet up soon, to which I agreed. I went away for a while shortly returned, and he suggests we catch up / spend weekend with one another. Wasn't expecting it but I agreed. Had a lovely weekend, & of course things got sexual & I agreed to sex, on my say so as it felt right. I enjoyed it & so did he. Following morning however was quiet / awkward! Often moments of silence & I didn't know what to say or do! We talk a little about things but lots of silent pauses! We said good bye, which was a hug & a peck on the cheek, & that was that!

    Now I'm sat here thinking "what the heck?". I like this guy a lot, have done since April 2014, but things are just up in their air. No idea if the sex was a good idea now, was that all he really wanted all along, or is this how things develop? I've not said anything to him since as I'm not the type to blow up a guys phone & etc but seriously?? :confused:

    Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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    Sorry to break it to you but he just wanted to go deep inside and leave the nuts hanging out

    As hard as it may be, try to move on, you'll find someone for sure


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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by ThePremierLeague)
    Sorry to break it to you but he just wanted to go deep inside and leave the nuts hanging out

    As hard as it may be, try to move on, you'll find someone for sure


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    And he waited a year to do it? :confused:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And he waited a year to do it? :confused:
    Don't underestimate guys when it comes to that!

    Just talk to him and ask him, it's the only way to know for sure.
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    (Original post by Conkerr)
    Don't underestimate guys when it comes to that!

    Just talk to him and ask him, it's the only way to know for sure.

    🙈 That's some serious effort though?!...

    Will try & he round it & see what he says!..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And he waited a year to do it? :confused:
    You were not consistently talking for that year though, I doubt you were the only girl in his mind (no offense).

    Whats done is done,learn and move on ..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So this guy is still talking to me . . albeit not spoken to him since Wednesday!

    Really confused here! Part of me thinks he's playing with my head, but the other part of me thinks he's being genuine / sincere in his actions! :dontknow:
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    I'm a little confused. You two got together back in Feb.? How often have you been in communication with him since then? Regularly or just a little. Are you the one still initiating the communication? You kind of have to follow your gut here... if you feel he's being sincere (he reaches out to communicate w/ you etc.) then just ask him is he feels awkward like you do and ask what he's thinking/how he feels. But, if you gut is telling you that he took advantage of the situation then that is probably correct. Again, if he's interested in you he'll initiate the contact sometimes - but if you're the only one initiating contact, even if he responds, then most likely he isn't as interested as you are. You know what you're gut is telling you - so if he's sincere talk to him about it and it you thinks he's not really being sincere then you need to just stop contacting him (even occasionally) and move on. There will definitely be a guy who will interested in you for you. Good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So this guy is still talking to me . . albeit not spoken to him since Wednesday!

    Really confused here! Part of me thinks he's playing with my head, but the other part of me thinks he's being genuine / sincere in his actions! :dontknow:
    Either he's playing games like hard to get or now maybe he's got what he wanted and isn't bothered about you anymore.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Either he's playing games like hard to get or now maybe he's got what he wanted and isn't bothered about you anymore.
    No idea! I asked him bluntly last year if it was casual sex he was after, he said ''no, I would have been gone long ago''. He doesn't strike me as the type of guy into that sort of thing, in comparison to guys I have dated in the past who make no secret of the fact it is sex they want!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No idea! I asked him bluntly last year if it was casual sex he was after, he said ''no, I would have been gone long ago''. He doesn't strike me as the type of guy into that sort of thing, in comparison to guys I have dated in the past who make no secret of the fact it is sex they want!
    You had sex with him in Feb? It looks like it was casual sex he was after or he would have asked to be in a relationship with you.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    You had sex with him in Feb? It looks like it was casual sex he was after or he would have asked to be in a relationship with you.
    No April actually; February I was abroad!

    But some people take a while to figure out what they truly want . . which is why I still don't believe he was intentionally using me for casual sex. I said to me if that is what you're wanting from me, I am not that girl. I bluntly asked him (twice), he said no, he's not into that!
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    The longer you make him wait for sex the better the sex will be and the more you resist (and the more he chases you) the more connected you to become when you do have sex.

    Hence why girls who wait until marriage (not giving it up to anyone else either) tend to have an 80% marriage success rate while those who have more than 2 partners have a <50% marriage success rate.

    Also, lol at the idea of you deciding it felt right. He was cold to you after you rejected him so you surrendered to him. It didn't feel any more right the second time than it did the first, you just wanted his approval. In fact this whole thread is about wanting his approval. Which is fine and good, but the only way you'll get it is by pleasing him more and more. Which is also good.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    The longer you make him wait for sex the better the sex will be and the more you resist (and the more he chases you) the more connected you to become when you do have sex.

    Hence why girls who wait until marriage (not giving it up to anyone else either) tend to have an 80% marriage success rate while those who have more than 2 partners have a <50% marriage success rate.

    Also, lol at the idea of you deciding it felt right. He was cold to you after you rejected him so you surrendered to him. It didn't feel any more right the second time than it did the first, you just wanted his approval. In fact this whole thread is about wanting his approval. Which is fine and good, but the only way you'll get it is by pleasing him more and more. Which is also good.
    A year I waited! There were plenty of times when I could have just jumped on him before but I'm not that person! Also I only slept with him ONCE! Because it felt right to me and was on my grounds. He didn't pressure me nor did he pressure me the first time and I said no! Also I did not want his approval.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    A brief whistle stop tour:

    Met this guy in April 2014, a year later April 2015, we got chatting. Exchanged numbers & decided to meet for a drink. Got on well arranged for another date; dinner. Had great dinner, arranged to catch up, he came to my home. Nice evening of chatting & etc, agreed to meet again. Met again, went out for dinner, lovely evening, he came back to mine. Exchanged first kiss & he ended up spending the night. Nothing sexual happened & that was that. Arranged to see each other again; I cooked dinner, we chatted, watched tv & he stayed the night. Things got sexual, he asked for sex but I said no because I wasn't ready. Communication throughout was consistent until the not ready for sex whereby I think I dented his ego, as he himself said it felt right.

    Communication broke down & I hadn't heard from him since Oct 2015. He'd been on my mind for ages so Feb 2016, I reached out, he replied almost instantly, v happy to hear from me. He mentioned about meet up soon, to which I agreed. I went away for a while shortly returned, and he suggests we catch up / spend weekend with one another. Wasn't expecting it but I agreed. Had a lovely weekend, & of course things got sexual & I agreed to sex, on my say so as it felt right. I enjoyed it & so did he. Following morning however was quiet / awkward! Often moments of silence & I didn't know what to say or do! We talk a little about things but lots of silent pauses! We said good bye, which was a hug & a peck on the cheek, & that was that!

    Now I'm sat here thinking "what the heck?". I like this guy a lot, have done since April 2014, but things are just up in their air. No idea if the sex was a good idea now, was that all he really wanted all along, or is this how things develop? I've not said anything to him since as I'm not the type to blow up a guys phone & etc but seriously?? :confused:

    Any thoughts would be appreciated.
    I'm sorry to say I think he's used you, which makes me sad
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    (Original post by 41b)
    The longer you make him wait for sex the better the sex will be and the more you resist (and the more he chases you) the more connected you to become when you do have sex.

    Hence why girls who wait until marriage (not giving it up to anyone else either) tend to have an 80% marriage success rate while those who have more than 2 partners have a <50% marriage success rate.

    Also, lol at the idea of you deciding it felt right. He was cold to you after you rejected him so you surrendered to him. It didn't feel any more right the second time than it did the first, you just wanted his approval. In fact this whole thread is about wanting his approval. Which is fine and good, but the only way you'll get it is by pleasing him more and more. Which is also good.
    I can see what you're saying, but a relationship without sex would be like eating chicken that's dry without seasoning or marinade! Why the **** would you want that? lol

    It isn't black and white, you shouldn't assume that a pre-marital relationship with sex, will be short term or will lack security.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by ThePremierLeague)
    Sorry to break it to you but he just wanted to go deep inside and leave the nuts hanging out

    As hard as it may be, try to move on, you'll find someone for sure


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    LOL!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And he waited a year to do it? :confused:
    Hence why I am waiting until marriage because I don't have time for players and f*ckboys. I've witnessed too many of my friends go through the exact same thing. I'm sorry he treated you that way. You sound like a sweetheart who definitely deserves better.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Tom78)
    I can see what you're saying, but a relationship without sex would be like eating chicken that's dry without seasoning or marinade! Why the **** would you want that? lol

    It isn't black and white, you shouldn't assume that a pre-marital relationship with sex, will be short term or will lack security.
    I completely disagree.
    As someone who has been in a relationship where one was sexual and the other is not (currently)- the relationship that isn't sexual, currently is more satisfying as both of us are focusing and placing emphasise on learning about each other, aiming to have good communication skills which is fundamental to any relationship. That's the whole point of waiting. It's not just about not having sex but doing other things to strengthen fundamental aspects of a relationships such as communication and trust. We have bonded and understand each other on a whole different level while having very good communication to the point where we survived and handled being long distant for a while then even through hard times i.e family, depression etc we're still going. And we knew if we got married that. touch wood something happened to where one of us couldn't sexually perform any more we would be ok since we fell in love with each other even before having sex. That's powerful- even in old age we could last through the thick and thin.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I completely disagree.
    As someone who has been in a relationship where one was sexual and the other is not (currently)- the relationship that isn't sexual, currently is more satisfying as both of us are focusing and placing emphasise on learning about each other, aiming to have good communication skills which is fundamental to any relationship. That's the whole point of waiting. It's not just about not having sex but doing other things to strengthen fundamental aspects of a relationships such as communication and trust. We have bonded and understand each other on a whole different level while having very good communication to the point where we survived and handled being long distant for a while then even through hard times i.e family, depression etc we're still going. And we knew if we got married that. touch wood something happened to where one of us couldn't sexually perform any more we would be ok since we fell in love with each other even before having sex. That's powerful- even in old age we could last through the thick and thin.
    Ok, that's a convincing argument, it just seems like an alien concept to me, perhaps you can have passion without sex.
 
 
 
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