Could you help?

I am in a relationship and I am finding it hard to get grasp it. I am slightly scared to actually write this because some of you out here are very critical of other people's lives. Here's my thing, I have a boyfriend who I am highly fond of, but lately I am questionning little things about us. Today we had a tiff about the friends (female & male) he has and how they have upset me or us (on seperate occassions) whilst we've been together and that he chooses to remain mates with these people. I felt quiet let down and hurt. Last night I went along to a function with him to be supportive but the whole time I was there, I didn't feel welcome or in place of being there. He and I are good sometimes and really harsh and mean the next, I dunno what to do. He claims to love me and want to be together but these little things are pushing me away, he hasn't reached commitment stage in our relationship or growing up. We are both in our 20's so I would hope sometime real soon he and I can do more adult, mature things together but I am holding my breath. I trust him most of the time but with these mates and other issues we are having I dunno, should I? So if you guys could help me out with honesty and realistic answers or ideas I would really appreciate it.

Reply 1

*pink_sapphires*

How long have you been together? I think you should sit down and have a serious talk with him about how you feel. But in the mean time, have a hug :hugs:

Reply 2

randomgirl

*pink_sapphires*

How long have you been together? I think you should sit down and have a serious talk with him about how you feel. But in the mean time, have a hug :hugs:

Yep, you need to talk to him and establish how he feels towards you and want he wants out of your relationship, and tell him how you feel. :smile:

Reply 3

Louise88

Today we had a tiff about the friends (female & male) he has and how they have upset me or us (on seperate occassions) whilst we've been together and that he chooses to remain mates with these people. I felt quiet let down and hurt.

I'm sorry but his friends are none of your business. Just because you are his girlfriend doesn't mean you can tell him who can, or cannot be friends with. You shouldn't feel let down or hurt, he is doing absolutely nothing wrong. He is friends with these people for a reason, friends have their up's and down's, that's just how relationships/friendships work. He obviously see's something in them which makes him want to be friends with them, even if they do upset him from time to time. You don't have to like them, but you don't have the right to feel that he should pick you over them.

Last night I went along to a function with him to be supportive but the whole time I was there, I didn't feel welcome or in place of being there.

Talk to him when you're feeling like this, ask him to involve you more and such. It's easy to feel that way, and to be honest, many people do when they are in relationships. It's something that you need to bring up with him. Make more of an effort yourself, talk to new people and don't spend your whole night together, involve yourself.

He and I are good sometimes and really harsh and mean the next, I dunno what to do. He claims to love me and want to be together but these little things are pushing me away, he hasn't reached commitment stage in our relationship or growing up.

It would be silly to let those things get in the way of your relationship. He picks his own friends and you feel out of place? It's hardly a reason to break up is it? What you need to do is sit down and have a proper talk about your relationship and see where you both want to go, and see if you both want the same things. What you need to keep in mind here is that, people are different and we reach different stages at different times. You might be ready for a full blown commitment, he might not be but it doesn't make him a bad person. It's just up to you if you want to stick around and see what happens.

I trust him most of the time but with these mates and other issues we are having I dunno, should I? So if you guys could help me out with honesty and realistic answers or ideas I would really appreciate it.

What has he done to make you have doubts? Why is it that you don't trust him? His friends, again, are his business and you shouldn't focus on them, you have to focus on him. Seriously though, you two need to sit down and have a very long chat about your relationship. Your relationship wont last without trust, and right now you're lacking it. Your also letting, what seems to be, little things get in the way. Have a good long think about it, I wish you the best of luck.