I feel weak that I can't deal with my feelings by myself but I've tried to fix how I'm feeling and pull myself together. I feel pressured to succeed in everything I do because that's what everyone expects from me. I'm scared of failing.I feel like I put on a mask each day pretending I'm happy. I feel like I'm living a double life because I give the answer everyone wants to hear. I see myself crying in the car coming home from university but the minute I drive into my street I wipe the tears off my face and play the happy successful girl everyone thinks I am. My family and friends continually say 'you'll be fine, you always are in your exams' but the truth is I'm not always fine, I made myself ill at Christmas from exams. I couldn't sleep, my hair fell out and I'd throw up after my exams. I'm scared to ask for help because I feel stupid that I can't sit an exam without making myself ill. I always feel I should've done better regardless the grade I get.I thought if I studied non stop and got good grades that would make me happy - I passed with distinction but didn't feel any happier. I thought that if I secured a good summer placement that would impress people and they would be proud of me and I'd be happy.I feel guilty for feeling this way because I have a life I should love. Why am I feeling this way and what should I do? (I don't want to tell my family and friends)
Am I normal? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-01-1970 02:00
- 03-05-2016 12:57
Hi, I'm really sorry you're going through this at the moment, many students go through exactly the same thing When it comes to dealing with stressful exams. It sounds like it's affecting your health so I would strongly advise you to speak to your gp, it sounds like it could be anxiety related, also if possible, I'd really recommend you speak to your family and friends about what you're going through, I'm sure they into want what's best for you and you clearly try your best in everything you do so don't worry about failing, and even then failure is a part of life so try not to stress, good luck op!
- 03-05-2016 12:58
When you go into an exam it's normal to want to do well. Think that you're doing the exam for yourself - for your own personal achievement. Don't go into an exam wanting to do well for other people and their expectations, you'll only stress yourself out.
I think you should go and visit your doctor they might be able to help, failing that maybe you should speak to somebody at uni, support staff/a counsellor, it might just help to tell somebody how you're feeling face to face.
- Thread Starter
- 03-05-2016 18:35
Thank you so much for your replies, they've definitely helped. I didn't want to go to the doctors because I felt guilty that I was making myself unwell compared to people who are actually unwell.