Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Every time I get off my ass and finally get back into a working mode, I **** up and wind up crying on the floor again. I used to be crazy motivated, studying nine hours a day without fail and going to the gym five times a week for two hours a session. Now I'm doing little work and little exercise, eating too much - I'm so goddam lazy.

    I'm so behind with revision, no way I'll make my Cambridge offer if I keep this up. Every week or so I 'start new', get really hyped up and motivated, and wind up where I began. My teachers still see me as a "golden student" even when I'm six essays behind in their subject.

    I started mimicking the behaviour of my first boyfriend who suffered from depression, in what I can only see as a pattern of self-sabotage

    My therapist isn't as worried about me as she has been - I was technically supposed to leave child services a few months ago (I'm 18) but she figured I was well enough and wanted to stay on with me because she knows how to help me or whatever.

    All since I 'got better' and became a normal teenager, going out, getting drunk, having sex etc. ****ing up work. Which I hate. I don't want to fail. I don't know how I would cope. I'm going out of mind for not doing any wok since 11:00 today. Sometimes I'm totally fine. I really hate my life.

    I can't deal with how much of a failure I am right now.
    • #2
    #2

    Oh my god, I actually cannot explain to you how much I relate to this. I do not have anorexia, but I have struggled with depression for about a year, and I have my IB exams now and I spend half the time crying on the floor like you said. I am feeling really hyped in one moment, being all "I can do this, I'm gonna ace it", and in the next I have a panic attack.

    Are you on antidepressants or something?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you on antidepressants or something?
    No.. I've been seeing a therapist for four years now though, which helps.. I guess it's all ups and downs and we've gotta ride the dips in the road and all that cliched stuff haha
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 5, 2016
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.