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    Hi, so first of all I'm a 21 year old girl Muslim. I recently got out of being with a guy for about a year... in that relationship we did do some sexual stuff... I'm talking everything except penetration/sex. Anyway, we were together for a whole year and i genuinely saw a future with this guy. But in the end it obviously didn't work out and i'm devastated.

    Recently i've been feeling ridiculously guilty about what i did with him. I feel like it's something that i can't take back or forget. I've never drank/smoked/etc in my life, and no i don't pray as i should but i still consider this as being pretty big.

    My question i guess is was what i did that bad? Why am i feeling so guilty and regretful? I keep asking for forgiveness but i still end up feeling guilty. Does this happen with many Muslims/will it be hard for me to find a partner later on?

    Sorry for so many questions I'm just freaking out here... Thanks guys
    • #2
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    You'll naturally feel guilty after doing something youre not supposed to do

    Its good youve repented. You just need to focus on your life now, try not to think too much about the past and be the best muslim you can now
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    No it wasnt. if people think so then they need to get a grip
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    (Original post by sachinisgod)
    No it wasnt. if people think so then they need to get a grip
    Pretty sure the title was 'muslims only'
    now I can see why
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Pretty sure the title was 'muslims only'
    now I can see why
    This is exactly why

    Thank you for your advice I feel slightly less guilty now... do you know any Muslims that have been in the same situation maybe?
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is exactly why

    Thank you for your advice I feel slightly less guilty now... do you know any Muslims that have been in the same situation maybe?
    You're welcome
    Yes I do including myself! Ive done some bad stuff in the past. Not reeally bad but you get what I mean lol. Anyways ive learnt from that stuff never to do those things again, and its made me into a better Alhamdulilah where I pray and am just a better muslim in general, so in a way im grateful it happened

    No one can say they havent been in this situation because we all make mistakes and have felt guilty sometime in our life!
    The most important thing is to learn from that bad mistake and try to not do it again.

    Allah is so merciful and forgiving, if you repent to him He will forgive you, you can still change into a better muslim!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're welcome
    Yes I do including myself! Ive done some bad stuff in the past. Not reeally bad but you get what I mean lol. Anyways ive learnt from that stuff never to do those things again, and its made me into a better Alhamdulilah where I pray and am just a better muslim in general, so in a way im grateful it happened

    No one can say they havent been in this situation because we all make mistakes and have felt guilty sometime in our life!
    The most important thing is to learn from that bad mistake and try to not do it again.

    Allah is so merciful and forgiving, if you repent to him He will forgive you, you can still change into a better muslim!
    Damn, you sound so cool and collected and logical about it lol

    I suppose I'm just freaking out because i used to be that proud girl who abstained and "waited".. Despite the temptations, i just didn't cave in. I was strong. And then when this happened i kind of lost some of my identity in a way. I feel so ashamed that nobody (obviously my parents don't know) apart from a couple close friends know.

    Also another part of my concern is, in the future isA, will my partner be turned off or appalled by this.. Would it chase anybody away?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, so first of all I'm a 21 year old girl Muslim. I recently got out of being with a guy for about a year... in that relationship we did do some sexual stuff... I'm talking everything except penetration/sex. Anyway, we were together for a whole year and i genuinely saw a future with this guy. But in the end it obviously didn't work out and i'm devastated.

    Recently i've been feeling ridiculously guilty about what i did with him. I feel like it's something that i can't take back or forget. I've never drank/smoked/etc in my life, and no i don't pray as i should but i still consider this as being pretty big.

    My question i guess is was what i did that bad? Why am i feeling so guilty and regretful? I keep asking for forgiveness but i still end up feeling guilty. Does this happen with many Muslims/will it be hard for me to find a partner later on?

    Sorry for so many questions I'm just freaking out here... Thanks guys
    its because you were doing something haram with him and obviously if he wants something long-term then you've just proved you wont be ideal...
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    (Original post by Boop.)
    its because you were doing something haram with him and obviously if he wants something long-term then you've just proved you wont be ideal...


    Thanks for the honesty
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Damn, you sound so cool and collected and logical about it lol

    I suppose I'm just freaking out because i used to be that proud girl who abstained and "waited".. Despite the temptations, i just didn't cave in. I was strong. And then when this happened i kind of lost some of my identity in a way. I feel so ashamed that nobody (obviously my parents don't know) apart from a couple close friends know.

    Also another part of my concern is, in the future isA, will my partner be turned off or appalled by this.. Would it chase anybody away?
    haha

    yh I get what you mean. Sometimes things happen when we dont expect them to but because we're all human at the end of the day, we're bound to fall for temptations now and again.

    There have been ppl who've thought the same and thought they could abstain from certain things, but because of pressure they've fallen into the traps of shaytan. You just gotta get back up because these are the things that build you!

    tbh I doubt it would. I think it just matters on the type of person you become. If you become a good muslimah Insha' Allah then people won't focus on your past so much, I mean everyone must have done something wrong in their life at some point. So if Allah has forgiven you then that person should forgive you too Insha' Allah.
    But the great thing about Islam is that you don't need to tell your future spouse about the haram you did because you're meant to keep these things secret and the past is the past, so we shouldn't dwell on that.

    Anyways lovely I'm off to bed, its getting late.
    Get some sleep too and dw about this anymore (pray Fajr first though) xox
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    haha

    yh I get what you mean. Sometimes things happen when we dont expect them to but because we're all human at the end of the day, we're bound to fall for temptations now and again.

    There have been ppl who've thought the same and thought they could abstain from certain things, but because of pressure they've fallen into the traps of shaytan. You just gotta get back up because these are the things that build you!

    tbh I doubt it would. I think it just matters on the type of person you become. If you become a good muslimah Insha' Allah then people won't focus on your past so much, I mean everyone must have done something wrong in their life at some point. So if Allah has forgiven you then that person should forgive you too Insha' Allah.
    But the great thing about Islam is that you don't need to tell your future spouse about the haram you did because you're meant to keep these things secret and the past is the past, so we shouldn't dwell on that.

    Anyways lovely I'm off to bed, its getting late.
    Get some sleep too and dw about this anymore (pray Fajr first though) xox
    That's a good point, i never thought of that actually. Although to be completely honest i think i would disclose to him that kind of information anyway, just because i wouldn't want him to think I'm trying to hide anything, also i think it would make me uncomfortable if he thought i was better than i actually was! If that makes sense..

    Anyway thank you so much for your point of view on this.. Wish you weren't anonymous so i could give you rep haha.. Okay no problem sweet dreams
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    You've done nothing wrong, you were in a long term relationship with someone i'm assuming you loved and by seeing a future with this person you gave them everything you had to give, even if it was against your cultural/religious morals. It happens, i know it happened to me and honestly time heals all wounds. Just repent, what is done is done we cant change the past. Just make sure you are sure before you fall head over heels next time!
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    Subhanallah you feeling guilty and regretful is already a good sign to Allah (swt)
    My advice would be, look forward don't look back talk to allah and pour your heart out to him iA he will forgive you💜
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    Make sincere repentance, don't do it again, do not be deceived by the kafirs and start taking the matter lightly, start making salah as missing that should make you feel very guilty, you don't have any excuse.

    We will never accept buying rotten fruit for money, but we expect Allah to take our rotten hearts in exchange for Jannah. sigh... May Allah guide us all.

    We should work hard for the next life till death overtakes us. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion (Quran 57:20).

    I am glad that you are coming back to the straight path. May Allah the most merciful accept your repentance and keep you steadfast.
 
 
 
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