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Coming to terms with the impending death of a pet. watch

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    Today at the vet, we came to the difficult point in the road where our darling Sally now begins to ease off treatment, and onto palliative care.

    She's been my little companion since I was barely six years old. She's moved across counties and continents with me.

    The future now is going to be immensely difficult, and the best thing I can do is just spend as much time with her as possible as she moves closer to the end of her amazing journey with us.

    But all evening I've still been breaking into tears. I always knew that eventually this time would come, and to be honest, it should have come a long time ago. She's had hyperthyroidism for 5 years, partial kidney failure for 4 years, and a tumor for 4. But somehow, she's always come through every hard spot, so today was especially difficult when that dreaded countdown clock started to tick.

    I've never dealt with anything like this before. She's such a loving and gentle natured cat, she's someone who makes a fuss of me just as much as I make a fuss of her. In all of my life that I can remember, she's always been a part of it. For me, she's as much a part of life, as life itself.

    I don't know how I'm going to cope with the next few weeks.

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    She's beautiful I feel your pain. I've had my cat for coming on 11 years now, we share such a strong bond and it's getting to the point where I'm starting to think about how on Earth I'm going to deal with it when his time is up.

    If you need to chat to someone when she's gone, drop me a PM
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    She is precious

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    Its very difficult, but there comes a point where you realise its time to let go. You are doing the right thing by spending as much time as possible. Think about what you want to do after. Loss of a pet is like a real bereavement.
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    Lots of cuddles and snuggles ... sorry for your bad news cherish her whilst you still have her
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    She is such a beautiful cat. She's the double of my cat, Mylo who I lost 2 years ago.

    I've been where you are many times and I won't lie, its hard and it'll break your heart. Even when you know its going to happen, nothing prepares you for the moment you actually lose your pet. I promise though, you will get through it. The first few days and weeks will be the worst. The house will feel empty and you may think you see her around the house for a second and then it'll sink in again.

    When it does sadly happen, let out how you feel. Don't bottle it up. If you want to cry for a few minutes or a few days, get it all out. Don't hold anything back. You might feel a mix of numbness, heartbroken, guilt, anger - this is all normal. The first few days when I lost my cat and dog 2 years ago and then last year, I felt angry at the vets one minute for not being able to save them though I know they tried their hardest then I felt guilt for not doing enough for them and then eventually nothing but heartbreak and loss set in.

    As I said, the first few days and weeks are the hardest but I promise you that although it won't seem like it at the time, you do get to a stage where when you think of them, you smile instead of cry. You forever miss them and you would do anything for them to still be with you but there comes a point when simply having them in your life even for a moment was enough and you feel truly grateful for that.

    Two years on since I lost one of my cats and a year on since I lost my dog, I still think of them every single day and miss them every minute of the day. I'm crying thinking of them right now because I know exactly what you're going through and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Pets are family and they become your life and it's heartbreaking they don't live as long as we would like them to. When I feel sad, I always try to remind myself that they are no longer suffering and that's ultimately the main thing. The thought of them being in pain for one second hurts me more than what I feel now that I've lost them because I'd rather be in pain from losing them than having them suffer for a single second.

    If you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open. Take care and big hugs to you and to your beautiful kitty :hugs:

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    Awfully sorry for you I love cats too. Such gentle creatures :love: I've never been able to keep one though :stomp:
    Spock's Socks is the best person you could talk to. She loves cat's and she's got plenty I believe. :yep:
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    (Original post by Hamoody)
    Awfully sorry for you I love cats too. Such gentle creatures :love: I've never been able to keep one though :stomp:
    Spock's Socks is the best person you could talk to. She loves cat's and she's got plenty I believe. :yep:
    Aww thank you for mentioning me I really am turning into TSR's resident cat lady :laugh:
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    She's taken a turn for the worse since I posted this thread. Her heart rate is down, and her breathing rate is up. She's taking quick shallow breaths now which tells me that she's in pain somewhere. She still purrs non stop whenever I sit near her. She has the most beautiful purr.

    However, I also think that the vet may have misdiagnosed her. He said that she had a growth in her abdomen which is bowel cancer, and will mean the end for her, and from that assumption, he moved on to the end-of-life-care procedure. But, she has also been drinking from a stagnant fountain just in the last week, teeming with insects, so I wonder if its cancer, or if she has a parasite? Then again, this may just be my desperate clutches at something other than the worst.

    Unfortunately, if it is, then at this rate, I'll be on my own when she goes, my parents are going on holiday for a month in America from next Wednesday, and now I'm faced with the horrible but sadly necessary task of planning what to do if, or when, things go bad.

    I was looking at how they put pets to sleep here, and it seems horrific - vets in the uk use a medication that seems to be geared more towards comforting the owners, than the pets - it's a chemical that induces a seizure, which paralyses the animal so that they appear "dead", despite them actually still being alive. It then causes a heart attack, and eventually death, but the latter stages can take several minutes. It is supposed to be humane, but it seems so awful for her.
    At the point where now, I'd feel a lot happier if, if it got to that point, I could take her out into the garden to her favourite spot, and just sit with her with her favourite treats and cat milk which she loves, then after a while, someone just take a shotgun to her head or something.

    It seems crazy, but am seriously considering asking the vet and the neighbours about this, because the whole 3 minute paralysis and heart attack thing seems just horrible. I want something where she can be relaxed and happy and completely unaware right to the end. I want her to enjoy life as long as possible, even down to the second.

    Oh dear. The eyes are going again now :cry::cry:
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    I just read your last post and I am sorry things are going downhill fast I completely understand every word and feeling in your post. I really wish you weren't in this situation.

    I don't know how true that is about the three minute paralysis and heart attack, it would be heartbreaking if its true I would love to believe that any pet is utterly painless and as peaceful as can be when they are getting put to sleep.

    I hope you are doing ok and remember we are all here for you :hugs:
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    She is adorable. It is never easy to lose a loved one furry or with skin. I have grieved over several of my pets and miss them still to this day. The best thing you can do is be there for her. Spend time together and let her know she is safe and loved and you are there for her.
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    (Original post by XMaramena)
    She's taken a turn for the worse since I posted this thread. Her heart rate is down, and her breathing rate is up. She's taking quick shallow breaths now which tells me that she's in pain somewhere. She still purrs non stop whenever I sit near her. She has the most beautiful purr.

    However, I also think that the vet may have misdiagnosed her. He said that she had a growth in her abdomen which is bowel cancer, and will mean the end for her, and from that assumption, he moved on to the end-of-life-care procedure. But, she has also been drinking from a stagnant fountain just in the last week, teeming with insects, so I wonder if its cancer, or if she has a parasite? Then again, this may just be my desperate clutches at something other than the worst.

    Unfortunately, if it is, then at this rate, I'll be on my own when she goes, my parents are going on holiday for a month in America from next Wednesday, and now I'm faced with the horrible but sadly necessary task of planning what to do if, or when, things go bad.

    I was looking at how they put pets to sleep here, and it seems horrific - vets in the uk use a medication that seems to be geared more towards comforting the owners, than the pets - it's a chemical that induces a seizure, which paralyses the animal so that they appear "dead", despite them actually still being alive. It then causes a heart attack, and eventually death, but the latter stages can take several minutes. It is supposed to be humane, but it seems so awful for her.
    At the point where now, I'd feel a lot happier if, if it got to that point, I could take her out into the garden to her favourite spot, and just sit with her with her favourite treats and cat milk which she loves, then after a while, someone just take a shotgun to her head or something.

    It seems crazy, but am seriously considering asking the vet and the neighbours about this, because the whole 3 minute paralysis and heart attack thing seems just horrible. I want something where she can be relaxed and happy and completely unaware right to the end. I want her to enjoy life as long as possible, even down to the second.

    Oh dear. The eyes are going again now :cry::cry:
    Hi. Have been through this. The injection is really fast and peaceful.. If she is in pain then you need to let go imo. Its obvious when that point comes. You have to step back and think like a responsible owner. Do have an idea what you will do with the carcass.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Hi. Have been through this. The injection is really fast and peaceful.. If she is in pain then you need to let go imo. Its obvious when that point comes. You have to step back and think like a responsible owner. Do have an idea what you will do with the carcass.
    She made it through and is a little better now - had to decrease some of her thyroid medication as it was slowing her heart rate too much, and causing oxygen defficiency that she was trying to counter with fast breathing. After halving that medication, she started to get better within a couple of days, and I'm now gradually increasing it back up to full dose which doesn't appear to be having any further negative effect.

    When she does go, she'll be cremated, but we're also looking into DNA storage from a tissue sample immediately after her passing which seems to be fairly inexpensive from around £200 a year to be saved until a point where, once ethical circumstances have changed, we may be able to get not a copy of her, but a twin or identical daughter, so to speak.

    She's such a loving-natured and beautiful cat, if there's someone just like her in the future, it's certainly worth looking into.
 
 
 
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