bf only sees me in early hours...

Ok so this might sound like a weird problem but it's a really serious problem for me! My bf of 14 months used to (for about the first year) see me all the time, spending the day together and going shopping etc. but for the past few months only sees me in the early hours. He has got a job where he works 3 mornings a week 8-11 and this apparently exhausts him so much he has to sleep all day untila bout 4-5pm, play computer games/see guy mates until late at night, then let himself in at my house at about 2/3am (even on exam days and days when i tell him not to!) i feel really neglected as he often says, ll come round early, about 11pm, and so i get all dressed up and then he doesnt turn up so i go to bed.. all he ever sees me in is pyjamas and in the morning (not nice!!), so all day i spend by myself. Is this unreasonable? i think it is but am i just overreacting?

Reply 1

Niaya

13

yes its unfair esp if he is putting off seeing you to see his friends, he needs to put you first a few night a week

Reply 2

Rei

14

Unfair..totally

Reply 3

little_em

OP

1

how exactly can i explain to my bf we need a compromise? and what dyu think the compromise should be?

Reply 4

Niaya

13

you could suggest he makes an effort to come over yours - by 7 ish at least 2 nights a week- maybe set aside one night a week where you can go out and do stuff as couple
could you spend time with him and his friends ?

Reply 5

little_em

OP

1

probably not a good idea to spend time with him and his friends... he acts very differently around them and we always end up having an argument over him showing off in front of them :frown:

Reply 6

Dramatic Star

2

Yes of course it is unreasonable. I definatly agree with other posters when they say you should ask him to come earlier. Have you told him how you feel about the whole situation? & really? Is he joking when he says he is exhausted for doing 3 hours work a day?? He seriously is a joker! You could suggest he goes to bed earlier- cut out sleeping as soon as he gets home from work. It sounds to me his sleeping habbits are unhealthy. If he has a good nights sleep- say from 11pm at night then go to work at 8-11, go on his computer, meet his mates (although I don't see why this is necessary everyday....) & then do something with you in the late afternoon/evening. Can I ask how old you both are?

Reply 7

little_em

OP

1

even on the days he doesnt work he stays up til 3am, goes to bed, gets up about 4pm.. its ridiculous, i seriously am thinking of getting himt o see a doctor as he seems so exhausted, and after the three hours work.. he literally cant keep his eyes open wtf?! we're both 18 so its not liek we're really young or anything.. i mean i know teenagers havent different sleeping habits to others, but 4pm?! i wud feel like my whole day was wasted!

Reply 8

dogtanian

16

He's exhausted doing three hours work a day? ^o)

with those hours, he should manage a normal sleeping pattern! Like, sleeping from midnight (or later if he doesn't need as much sleep) til whatever time he needs to be up to get himself ready and at work by, then staying up splitting time between friends, family and yourself. Obviously he can stay up late (ahem) sometimes, but sleeping BEFORE work is important.

Really, that sleeping pattern isn't sociable and it can't be good for him really. Anyone who is shattered after three hours work needs to sort their sleeping out.

Reply 9

little_em

OP

1

dogtanian

He's exhausted doing three hours work a day? ^o)

with those hours, he should manage a normal sleeping pattern! Like, sleeping from midnight (or later if he doesn't need as much sleep) til whatever time he needs to be up to get himself ready and at work by, then staying up splitting time between friends, family and yourself. Obviously he can stay up late (ahem) sometimes, but sleeping BEFORE work is important.

Really, that sleeping pattern isn't sociable and it can't be good for him really. Anyone who is shattered after three hours work needs to sort their sleeping out.

So totally agree... he reckons its normal though? Does anyone know a single person who does sleep like this? because id love to hear from them!!

Reply 10

sweetface.

Well if you feel that your getting to see him all the time then you could just talk to him about it. You have to understand that he has other things to do than see you all the time, people change. If you don't like it or you can not accept him not being with you 24/7 then you will have to call it off. Thats only if you can't learn to live with what he is doing with his life. If I were you I would just learn to live with it and give him space that he needs. You should be grateful that he sees you and makes the time to see you. When he has other things to do, just give him space.

Reply 11

1sun

a man has needs.
you are obviously not one of them.
get rid.

Reply 12

--

3

little_em

So totally agree... he reckons its normal though? Does anyone know a single person who does sleep like this? because id love to hear from them!!

Thats completely ridiculous, i currently have a full time job which i work from 8 till 5 (six hours longer than your lazy-arse boyfriend) and i have a perfectly normal sleeping pattern (about 11 or 12 at night till 6.45am). Theres no excuse for becoming nocturnal just because you need to work 3 hours in a morning.

Reply 13

Paperfolders57

sweetface.

Well if you feel that your getting to see him all the time then you could just talk to him about it. You have to understand that he has other things to do than see you all the time, people change. If you don't like it or you can not accept him not being with you 24/7 then you will have to call it off. Thats only if you can't learn to live with what he is doing with his life. If I were you I would just learn to live with it and give him space that he needs. You should be grateful that he sees you and makes the time to see you. When he has other things to do, just give him space.

completely untilly agree on this you've got the chance to talk with then do it!

Reply 14

dancingqueen

11

Do you live at home? Are your parents not annoyed at him sneaking in at 3 in the morning?!

Reply 15

Pixie_256

bobmarley988

a man has needs.
you are obviously not one of them.
get rid.

Totally, you should be priority at least 2 nights a week!!!

Reply 16

Ginger_Rogers

7

You sound a bit like a booty call. Harsh, but true.

Reply 17

generalebriety

16

little_em

So totally agree... he reckons its normal though? Does anyone know a single person who does sleep like this? because id love to hear from them!!

Haven't read the rest of the posts past here, but my sleeping pattern is normally like this. Can't seem to fix it either. It's not exhaustion, but I couldn't tell you what it was. :s-smilie:

Lack of routine certainly seems to play a part, though.

Reply 18

tinkerbellejess

13

If he went to bed earlier he might not be so tired in the afternoons and be able to see you?!

bf only sees me in early hours...

Related discussions

Articles for you