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    (Original post by AM1)
    it's not easy to wait, granted, but i think that it's certainly the safest and most enjoyable institution to have sex. when your married there is both security and a strong emotional bond between the two, which i think is a pre-requisite for good sex. i would also add i am a christian, but one need not be religious to adopt this viewpoint - TO ME its common sense.
    It is probably common sense to you because of your religious beliefs. I have only recently found a religion that I have chosen to follow, both my parents are atheists (an ex-catholic and an ex-CE) and I was bought up to feel that sex is something that you should share with a partner that you feel comfatable and happy with. They don't need to be a husband or a wife because some people don't get married. I think that what makes sense to you is dependent on your upbringing. I personally believe that there can be a stong emotional bond between two people who aren't married just as strong as between any two people who are married. Also from talking to so of my friend who are a lot more experianced than me I did get the picture that a strong emotional bond does not always lead to good sex and a lack of an emotional bond doesn't always mean bad sex.

    i refute any argument that couple can be "sexually incompatible" and discover this on their wedding night! what connection/spark/attraction would have brought them together in the first place?
    I agree with this. However I read somewhere that in the really reall strongly christian stated of America where many teenagers wait for marriage there are very high teenage marriage numbers and also very high teenage divorce numbers. I think this could be because when you are a teenager and you love or fancy someone all your hormones are telling you to sleeping with them while the church is telling you not to before you get married. I think this can lead to people getting married before they are ready and then finding out that they are emotionally incompatable down the line. Now I don't think that no one should wait untill they are married I think that it is a lovely thing to do if the person wants to. I just feel that it can lead to some problems if people rush into the wronge marriage.

    finally, the explosion of stds and teenage pregnancies (which are higher in the uk than all other european countries), plus the fact that (statistically) 1 in 4 women has had an abortion, suggests to me that we should ditch our marriage-sceptic philospohies. :rolleyes: :cool:
    I don't think that encouraging more people to marry will reduce teenage pregnancies. The fact is that times have changed. Teenagers are being bombarded with sex all day long on the tv in magazines ect. Abstinance by many teenagers is percieved to be an out dated idea. I think that our society now is more accepting of people who are in non-married realationships or same sex relationships which I believe is a good thing. The answer to this in my oppinion is not to promoty abstinance untill marriage as the best and only way but to combine the teaching of emotional and physical sex education with the idea that you should wait untill you personally are ready. Better education can solve the problems listed above.
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    Becuase I believe strongly in Civil Rights I believe that a person should be able to have sex before marriage if they wish. However, young teenagers who are having sex before their bodies can handle it is wrong. I think our law of 16Years is fair, however the gay law should be 16 as well in my view.
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    but if u have sex before marriage then why bother ever getting married? the more people you sleep with before marriage the more likely it is you will accidently have kids, so end up a single parent, whats left for marriage? its not surprising the divorece rate in the uk is so high, along with the teenage pregnancy rates. if women waited for marrige, then both these figures would fall. right now theres no reason left for marrige.
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    (Original post by magiccarpet)
    but if u have sex before marriage then why bother ever getting married? the more people you sleep with before marriage the more likely it is you will accidently have kids, so end up a single parent, whats left for marriage? its not surprising the divorece rate in the uk is so high, along with the teenage pregnancy rates. if women waited for marrige, then both these figures would fall. right now theres no reason left for marrige.
    financially there's quite a few advantages, and it's a public delaration of your love and devotion.
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    (Original post by magiccarpet)
    but if u have sex before marriage then why bother ever getting married? the more people you sleep with before marriage the more likely it is you will accidently have kids, so end up a single parent, whats left for marriage? its not surprising the divorece rate in the uk is so high, along with the teenage pregnancy rates. if women waited for marrige, then both these figures would fall. right now theres no reason left for marrige.
    So you don't think that commiting yourself to the person that you love is enough? Why are you assuming that all people that have sex before marriage are going to sleep with loads of people. What about the people who only sleep with their partners when they are in a serious relationship. Also is waiting for marriage meant that the marriage was more likely to last why is it that there are so many young divorces in states which promote abstinance. Why are you putting all of this on women. If you are going to say that women should wait surely men should wait too because the same things can happen to them.
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    agreed. of course there are reasons for marriage. If you connect on every level with a person then you want to show the world just how happy they make you feel. Simple enough really, but divorce is seen as the easy option. Not enough couples battle hard enough, or work through enough to make things work. Differences, which start as petty or of no consequence are suddenly labelled "irecconcilable", without thought for other people - most specifically, the other half of the couple.
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    he (i'm assuming) puts it on women because of the chauvanist attitude taken by many men, that all there problems are because of women. Take a look at yourselves men, you are responsible for divorce too!

    theres a quote in the mens at my local that says "Women should carry a general health warning because they can seriously damage your body, car, house, genitals, self-esteem, confidence, wallet and razor blades!" That epitomises the attitude of some men. What area of life was left out in that quote ? I can't think of one. I'm a bloke btw.
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    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    agreed. of course there are reasons for marriage. If you connect on every level with a person then you want to show the world just how happy they make you feel. Simple enough really, but divorce is seen as the easy option. Not enough couples battle hard enough, or work through enough to make things work. Differences, which start as petty or of no consequence are suddenly labelled "irecconcilable", without thought for other people - most specifically, the other half of the couple.
    I agree that the divorce rate in the UK is too high, I however am not convinced that this is because people are having sex before marriage. I mean there are many examples of Christians who have waited getting divorce. My mum had a christian friend at uni who waited until her wedding night. Her and her husband had three children but they still ended up getting divorced 7 years later. I think that the divorce rate is more societies problems.
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    (Original post by _tobi_coker07_)
    Do you believe that people should not have sex before marriage?
    What age do you think is legal for someone to have sex?
    People should definetely have sex before marriage! yes!
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    (Original post by randdom)
    I agree that the divorce rate in the UK is too high, I however am not convinced that this is because people are having sex before marriage.
    I agree with this too. I don't think its because of having sex before marriage or a lack thereof either. But it is dubious to say that it is societies problem. Certainly society has a part to play BUT the point i was making is that many couples simply do not:

    a) recieve enough help and support from Relate-like institutions (society's fault)
    b)try hard enough themselves so that it doesnt get to a stage where someone like Relate is needed. (individual fault)

    I'd say b is more important than a

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    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    I agree with this too. I don't think its because of having sex before marriage or a lack thereof either. But it is dubious to say that it is societies problem. Certainly society has a part to play BUT the point i was making is that many couples simply do not:

    a) recieve enough help and support from Relate-like institutions (society's fault)
    b)try hard enough themselves so that it doesnt get to a stage where someone like Relate is needed. (individual fault)

    I'd say b is more important than a

    I agree with that, what I meant by it being societies fault is that today in the UK divorce is not seen as a shocking thing. It is something that has become really acceptable. People enter into marriage knowing that they can get out of it easily and that is not a good thing.
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    (Original post by magiccarpet)
    but if u have sex before marriage then why bother ever getting married? the more people you sleep with before marriage the more likely it is you will accidently have kids, so end up a single parent, whats left for marriage? its not surprising the divorece rate in the uk is so high, along with the teenage pregnancy rates. if women waited for marrige, then both these figures would fall. right now theres no reason left for marrige.

    What if they dont want to get married?
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    (Original post by AM1)
    it's not easy to wait, granted, but i think that it's certainly the safest and most enjoyable institution to have sex. when your married there is both security and a strong emotional bond between the two, which i think is a pre-requisite for good sex. i would also add i am a christian, but one need not be religious to adopt this viewpoint - TO ME its common sense.

    i refute any argument that couple can be "sexually incompatible" and discover this on their wedding night! what connection/spark/attraction would have brought them together in the first place?

    finally, the explosion of stds and teenage pregnancies (which are higher in the uk than all other european countries), plus the fact that (statistically) 1 in 4 women has had an abortion, suggests to me that we should ditch our marriage-sceptic philospohies. :rolleyes: :cool:
    When the bible was written most people married at around 14. Now, the majority marry when over 20, which is a much longer time to wait.

    Personally, I think that the law is fine, and that people are generally uneducated which causes most of the problems.

    I believe that its your choice as to whether you are ready for sex or not.
    The law is a guideline based on sexual maturity of both boys and girls, but many find this is not the case emotionally. It's up to you.
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    (Original post by _tobi_coker07_)
    What age do you think is legal for someone to have sex?
    It should be legal for a person to have sex, period. However, if there is a relevant difference in age and the person is bellow 16 then it could be classed as sexual abuse. That is, if a 17 year old would sleep with a 15 year old I dont think that alone should make it rape. However if a 23 year old would sleep with a 15 year old then the law should be there to protect minors. Above 16 the person in question should be given his/her rights as set out in the Cinvention on Civil and political rights and the state has no right to tell people who they are allowed to have sex with and not.
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    (Original post by immortal)
    Personally, I think that the law is fine, and that people are generally uneducated which causes most of the problems.
    I heard of a case in Norway were an 18 year old was convicted for having had sex with a 15 year old. The thing that upset me was that the girl had lied about her age and said she was 17. It was also the parents who charged the boy, against the will of their daughter. I seriously must say that this is wrong. I mean can you seriously imagine the following line: "Uhm, excuse me honey but Im going to need to se an ID, just to be certain your parents woant sue me!" ?

    Really, there must be some limit to what can be considered a sexual offense and not.
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    (Original post by Jonatan)
    Really, there must be some limit to what can be considered a sexual offense and not.
    A good point but the difficulty comes with making this distinction and enforcing this limit so that minors are suitably protected.

    someone in the US once suggested providing contracts with condom packets so that the issue of rape was never an issue. Now suppose a similar thing happened here in the case you describe. If the girl lies about her age, does she then invalidate the contract and can the girls parents then ask for a charge of rape, and not sexual abuse, to be brought ? and surely the girl's will means nothing. Parents have a duty of care to protect their children, and by lying about her age, has not the girl shown that she is too irresponsible to make decisions of such magnitude as to whether to prosecute or not ?

    however i do feel sorry for the boy because he took all reasonable steps to acertain that he was not breaking the law. however, he still did. And so he should be punished, but not as a sexual deviant or abuser.
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    (Original post by immortal)
    Personally, I think that the law is fine, and that people are generally uneducated which causes most of the problems.

    I believe that its your choice as to whether you are ready for sex or not.
    The law is a guideline based on sexual maturity of both boys and girls, but many find this is not the case emotionally. It's up to you.
    maybe not uneducated - but undereducated. the level of information you can give children is difficult as regards sex education, but i think the balance they've now found is ok. I believe the problem to be a more sinister one - that of public opinion. If people became more open about sex in the home - i.e. parents actually talking to their children - then maybe there would be fewer problems?

    i agree about the emotional maturity - this is helped with better family backgrounds, when people are brought up to understand right from wrong, and the consequences of actions. perhaps a tad simplistic though
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    What difference could the parents of children make ? Kids are so subjected to sexual over/under tones in todays society that it is inevitable that they take some of it in. Hence, it is the will of the mob (society) vs the will of the parents. I know who I'm backing.

    I also refute that "kids will have sex anyway, therefore, we must make sure its safe sex, and teen pregnancies will not then be an issue". This adresses the symptoms of society's problem, not the actual problem itself. I deplore this attitude and think more must be done to protect children through more stringent censorship of sexually related issues.
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    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    theres a quote in the mens at my local that says "Women should carry a general health warning because they can seriously damage your body, car, house, genitals, self-esteem, confidence, wallet and razor blades!"
    True. They can also be the best thing in the world (or so I've been told). Equivalent statements could be made regarding the effect of men on women's lives. That's life, I'm afraid. Take the crunchy with the smooth. Like peanut butter.
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    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    I also refute that "kids will have sex anyway, therefore, we must make sure its safe sex, and teen pregnancies will not then be an issue". This adresses the symptoms of society's problem, not the actual problem itself. I deplore this attitude and think more must be done to protect children through more stringent censorship of sexually related issues.
    What is wronge with teenagers haveing sex aslong as it is safe sex. I have never understood why this is a problem. I mean it is their body and if they aren't getting std's or pregnant then why is it a mad thing. In my oppinion it is just the stigma of pre marital sex that was left from when christianity was more powerfull.
 
 
 
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