Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    There is no valid way (other than within a completely relativist framework, in which there aren't areally any valid morals anyway) to construe sex as wrong in itself. It would be a strange morality that prohibited reproduction. The issue is, therefore, to do with consequences, and quite simply, sex before marriage does not always (and not even often) have negative consequences. It can result in a great deal of pleasure for both partners (the justification of a 'no strings' one-night stand), can affirm the love of a couple and cement a relationship. There are, of course, occasions where unwanted pregancy, stis, and emotional damage can result. These are not a necessarry consequence of sex before marriage and they also exist (possibly to a lesser extent) within marriage. They can be prevented by caution and a certain amount of common sense. There is no need to demand abstinence.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by randdom)
    What is wronge with teenagers haveing sex aslong as it is safe sex. I have never understood why this is a problem. I mean it is their body and if they aren't getting std's or pregnant then why is it a mad thing. In my oppinion it is just the stigma of pre marital sex that was left from when christianity was more powerfull.
    Because if that sex is not in a stable relationship, like for example its a drunken one night stand, then i think we are promoting entirely the wrong example to our kids.

    I have no issue with pre-marital sex as long as its in a stable relationship and not on a whim, because it degrades society and promotes the idea that men and women can 'have it anywhere, anytime, not strings attached' and that, at least i don't think, does not promote the kind of society anyone can be proud of.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    Because if that sex is not in a stable relationship, like for example its a drunken one night stand, then i think we are promoting entirely the wrong example to our kids.

    I have no issue with pre-marital sex as long as its in a stable relationship and not on a whim, because it degrades society and promotes the idea that men and women can 'have it anywhere, anytime, not strings attached' and that, at least i don't think, does not promote the kind of society anyone can be proud of.
    But still I ask what is wronge about safe sex even if it is a one night stand. I mean sex is natural. Why is it wronge. I don't get it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by randdom)
    But still I ask what is wronge about safe sex even if it is a one night stand. I mean sex is natural. Why is it wronge. I don't get it.
    Sex is natural. An 'on-demand society' is not. It can lead to many problems including rape and abuse when men/women realise they can't have it when and where they want it all the time.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    What about sex after marriage?
    St. Paul was strongly against it
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    Sex is natural. An 'on-demand society' is not. It can lead to many problems including rape and abuse when men/women realise they can't have it when and where they want it all the time.
    Ok I will rephrase again, what is wronge with sex between two consenting people when it safe sex. It isn't leading to rape or abuse it is just no strings attached sex. Why is it considered wrong?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    wisdom only comes from experience. an only the ones with guts venture along the route beginning at the start of inexperienced.

    to be honest i wish i hadn't lost my virginity and kept it for someone special.

    however, you do want to be good for that special someone and that only arises from experience.

    culture needs to be changed before many things get better such as contraception. :/

    lower the age of consent and make sex less of a taboo but provide laws to prevent abuse/manipulation across huge age differences. making less of a taboo would mean that people would practise safer sex :/
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by operato)
    wisdom only comes from experience. an only the ones with guts venture along the route beginning at the start of inexperienced.

    to be honest i wish i hadn't lost my virginity and kept it for someone special.

    however, you do want to be good for that special someone and that only arises from experience.

    culture needs to be changed before many things get better such as contraception. :/

    lower the age of consent and make sex less of a taboo but provide laws to prevent abuse/manipulation across huge age differences. making less of a taboo would mean that people would practise safer sex :/
    what????
    You should sleep with lots of people to be ready for that special someone? What a load of rubbish.
    If I knew (and I know this is the case for some guys too) that my serious girlfriend had just slept with random guys just to gain experience, I'm not sure I'd want to stay with her.
    You can't say you can treat sex as something unimportant if you want it to be important with that special someone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    what????
    You should sleep with lots of people to be ready for that special someone? What a load of rubbish.
    If I knew (and I know this is the case for some guys too) that my serious girlfriend had just slept with random guys just to gain experience, I'm not sure I'd want to stay with her.
    You can't say you can treat sex as something unimportant if you want it to be important with that special someone.
    you don't truly love your gf then. love is important, sex is unimportant as it's just another bodily function along with eating and sleeping.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    what do the guys actually think of girls who wait until marriage? would you leave your girl for someone who didnt want to wait? or would you wait aswell? and what would you think of her for deciding to wait-boring or respectful?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by operato)
    love is important, sex is unimportant as it's just another bodily function along with eating and sleeping.
    I'll agree with that. When you are with someone you really love sex isn't so important. It just become another way to express you love for that person.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by magiccarpet)
    what do the guys actually think of girls who wait until marriage? would you leave your girl for someone who didnt want to wait? or would you wait aswell? and what would you think of her for deciding to wait-boring or respectful?
    There is nothing wrong with it. My missus wanted to wait at least two months before we had sex, her reason being that she wanted for us to get to know each other. Even though we had known each other for the past three years which led to us being together.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by operato)
    however, you do want to be good for that special someone and that only arises from experience.
    but you can gain experience with the one you love - making the experience that much more special
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Its a matter of personal choice whether you decide to wait or not but I think its wrong to say that sex before marriage is wrong.
    If we stopped people having sex before marriage, I think that the divorce rate would sky rocket. So many people would marry just wanting to have sex then realise that the person they married isn't right for them and divorce, then this pattern would just repeat itself. Then also there would be no value whatsoever in marriage because so many people would be doing it purely for the sex.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meghan)
    but you can gain experience with the one you love - making the experience that much more special
    have you ever had the feeling that you weren't adequate? or inexperienced? or unable to give them pleasure because you didn't know what to do?

    but like you said when you gain experience with the person you love it does make it special... but you feel like failure for not being able to please them.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tkfmbp)
    however i do feel sorry for the boy because he took all reasonable steps to acertain that he was not breaking the law. however, he still did. And so he should be punished, but not as a sexual deviant or abuser.
    He didnt break the law intentionally. Just like you should not be sentenced if something is an accident (your car malfunctions and you hit a pedestrian) you should not be charged if the crime you comited was not intentional. Theres no possible way for an 18 year old to determine if a girl is 15 or 17 except asking. The offense was caused by the girl when she lied about her age, not by the boy. If I told you I was not alergic to anything and I later died after you served me a course I reacted towards, should you be charged for murder? Hardly. I think you can eaven find this somewhere in the human righst charter.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by _tobi_coker07_)
    Do you believe that people should not have sex before marriage?
    What age do you think is legal for someone to have sex?
    It doesn't matter if people have sex before marriage providing they always use protection.

    I think 16 is the right age for "legal sex."
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    the type of society you grow up in has alot to do with wether u do have sex vefore marriage or not...in an asain society, girls are expected to be the virgin mary and are often "talked" about even if they are seen chatting to boys, with nothing going gone.but this is not expected of boys! so i guess ur culture plays a large part in wether u commit to having sex before marriage
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    littleone are you asian? (don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by icklehc)
    of course people should its healthy and natural.
    imagine marrying someone and having sex on ur wedding night and realising you dont connect in that way.
    I still believe that marriage is sacred, and I don't think I'm being nieve in saying that alot of people still do. Based on this fact, when a two people get married, they are in love, and therefore when they engage in physical contact on their wedding night, it is no longer sex, but making love, and therefore they connect in a physical, emotional and spiritual way, and so therefore there is no way they cannot connect, as they are giving all of themselves to the other person.

    Of course there will be cases where they may find they do not connect physically, but that is only when they are not marrying for the right reasons, and are not truly 'in love', or 'connected' in the first place.

    I do think that it is personal choice, and when two people are in love but not married, it is their choice to express their love through physical means. But it has to be said that the act of sex is far too lightly thought of in society, perhaps an indication of the perversion of society. I'm not saying that I'm completely innocent, or blaming society, it is always down to the individual, but I would most certainly advise my children against sleeping around, or 'trying the shoe to see if it fits'. If they are in love, then there are no obstacles on the physical side of things too great.
 
 
 
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.