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I dislike my mum and step dad more and more as days past watch

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    Before she met him my mum would cuddle me and was generally nicer but than maybe i am delusional what is this love?It isn;t all I was promised for it to be because I don't feel it they do the basics cook,take care of me but it doesn't feel sincere.They are both ever distant and cold always shutting the door in my face like they don't want me near them all the time they want to be alone.I feel unwanted and not good enough.

    I am tired of my mum's comments e.g. I would like to have another child (I have a twin it is only us 2) it upsets me it makes me feel as if i am not good enough I give it my all everyday always sacrificing my happiness for the pleasure of others and avoid conflict.I feel increasingly unhappy I just want to feel loved.Maybe i am delusional I don't know what love is I feel unable to love as days past constantly alienated.I feel just frustrated,perplexed,upset I don't understand anything.I feel like they dislike me and don't want to spend time with me I am all the time sitting alone in the living room,drinking tea on my own no one ever wants to accompany me in anything even if I ask they are reluctant every weekend we do absolutely nothing the best we do is go to the grocery shop they only go out together on their own I am miserable of constantly studying,staying at home,school and doing essentials such as eating.
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    Sorry you are having a difficult time. It sounds like your mum is being just as rubbish as your step dad. Try and get involved in doing after school activities by joining clubs and societies, so you cna mix with other people. its also a good way to build up your CV and self confidence plus less time you spend with them and more with people who appreciate you. Its hard to identify how much of what you feel is actually whats happening rather than just anxiety. What does your twin say? Do you get along with them and can you confide?

    Word hard and get good grades and that will give you the power to choose where to study. once you are at uni you can make your own life and after graduation you can start thinking about your own place.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Sorry you are having a difficult time. It sounds like your mum is being just as rubbish as your step dad. Try and get involved in doing after school activities by joining clubs and societies, so you cna mix with other people. its also a good way to build up your CV and self confidence plus less time you spend with them and more with people who appreciate you. Its hard to identify how much of what you feel is actually whats happening rather than just anxiety. What does your twin say? Do you get along with them and can you confide?

    Word hard and get good grades and that will give you the power to choose where to study. once you are at uni you can make your own life and after graduation you can start thinking about your own place.
    Thank you I don't have friends once i thought that my mum and step dad were my best friends but now I don't feel the same who shuts a door in front of someone who loves them with all their hearts the doors should always be open welcoming one another not isolating each other.I might start staying after school to go to library and study.I might be happier that way.Thank you for your advice i would give you a rep point but I need to give one to someone else before i could do again.My step dad some days he could be so loving other days you cannot look him in the eye so cold so distant while other days the affection feels very real now i am not sure what is real and what is not because he could be the extremes of good and bad when it comes to affection.While my mum hugs me so rarely I can't remember the last time she hugged me sincerely other times it is just a quick forced one.We may go together for a long walk but say absolutely nothing to each other thet means anything only things such as go grab the lemons I will go grab the oranges for example.Nothing sincere nothing meaningful they cook good and do things like that but besides that I feel no affection I feel like I am not good enough they are days where I find it hard to face home where I feel like I am not good enough I wish I could be everything they hope for yet I don't know what that is.I try so hard to please them bringing A/A* yet I feel like i could never satisfy them.Sometimes my perception of reality may be different because i choose to see it differently I am not sure whether i am delusional.
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    (Original post by Anonymous1502)
    Thank you I don't have friends once i thought that my mum and step dad were my best friends but now I don't feel the same who shuts a door in front of someone who loves them with all their hearts the doors should always be open welcoming one another not isolating each other.I might start staying after school to go to library and study.I might be happier that way.Thank you for your advice i would give you a rep point but I need to give one to someone else before i could do again.My step dad some days he could be so loving other days you cannot look him in the eye so cold so distant while other days the affection feels very real now i am not sure what is real and what is not because he could be the extremes of good and bad when it comes to affection.
    Do notice that many kids have worse parents than yours. Cold comfort, but parents can really mess you up. This is why you need to protect and build yourself up. id like to suggest ways you cna engage with them and make them be good parents, except im not sure there are ways. they should do it becayse you are their child, but some take it more responibly than others.

    My point is your aim is to survive and not let it affect you. Becayse you lose more than they do. None of it is your fault, so please do not turn itself in on you because that messes you up for later.

    Dont give in completely. Whete they are nice (if ever) then enjoy it and where they are mean or indifferent ignore them.

    Its very important you learn to support and appreciate yourself. Dont let it mess you up. Do try and join a few clubs or do some voluntray work after school as once you go regularly it can be a bit like a family away from home. Its a bit tough and awkward at first till they accept you.

    Parents can also change later in life, so dont give up hope completely. You cna also talk to childine, your GP or your teacher. hang in and get the grades.
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    (Original post by Anonymous1502)
    While my mum hugs me so rarely I can't remember the last time she hugged me sincerely other times it is just a quick forced one.
    Are you seriously complaining about the quality of the hugs you receive?

    The solution here is obvious: get out more and make friends. Also, your mother wanting another child does not mean that she doesn't like you. That kind of jealousy isn't justifiable after a certain age.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    The solution here is obvious: get out more and make friends. Also, your mother wanting another child does not mean that she doesn't like you. That kind of jealousy isn't justifiable after a certain age.
    Tbh I felt that as an 18 year old before my brother was born. It was just me and my elder sister for so long and I couldn't help but feel like my mother didn't think we were good enough for her. Those feelings have died down now though and I love my brother to bits. It's perfectly normal to feel that way
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    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    Tbh I felt that as an 18 year old before my brother was born. It was just me and my elder sister for so long and I couldn't help but feel like my mother didn't think we were good enough for her. Those feelings have died down now though and I love my brother to bits. It's perfectly normal to feel that way
    Yeah, but I doubt most people feel that way at that age. Most people I knew at school who had siblings born during their teenage years couldn't care less. It just became a new subject of conversation for a week or so.

    Maybe it's a gender divide of sorts. :holmes:
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Yeah, but I doubt most people feel that way at that age. Most people I knew at school who had siblings born during their teenage years couldn't care less. It just became a new subject of conversation for a week or so.

    Maybe it's a gender divide of sorts. :holmes:
    It's not like people express these feelings out loud though is it? :lol:
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    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    It's not like people express these feelings out loud though is it? :lol:
    We discussed far more embarrassing things than that, though.

    Meh, who knows. Much drama.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Are you seriously complaining about the quality of the hugs you receive?

    The solution here is obvious: get out more and make friends. Also, your mother wanting another child does not mean that she doesn't like you. That kind of jealousy isn't justifiable after a certain age.
    Some people are more tactile and wnat to know the fact that someone cares for them. i'd take the hint from the fact they are unhappy and feel isolated. A parent should be able to pick up on that. They mention several other things besides hugs.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Some people are more tactile and wnat to know the fact that someone cares for them. i'd take the hint from the fact they are unhappy and feel isolated. A parent should be able to pick up on that. They mention several other things besides hugs.
    I just want to feel loved and wanted I feel like a mistake I feel not good enough even if I bring A* from mocks or whatever they are never pleased I feel as if I am not good enough.I feel hideous they never compliment me I feel bad inside and out I just want to feel good about myself.If my parents the people who are meant to love me the most don't make me feel as if they like me or as if I am good enough and if I cannot see myself as good enough then how am I meant to be happy?

    I feel like my step father is the cause of my grea unhappiness in life because previously my mum loved me now when she returns from work she doesn't hug me or spend time with me she is just in her bedroom with him talking even on the weekends and when I come they make me feel unwanted like they don't want me there I just want to feel the way everyone else does which is loved,wanted and cared for (not only essentials but also emotional needs such as hugs compliments) i feel absolutely worthless I just want to be happy.
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    Go and see your GP and get some counseling. You will be able to talk to someone about it and make sure you dont turn it in on yourself. You might also needs some self esteem counseling. Its very common to have issues with a step parent. You sound quite depressed and distressed. If you are under 18 then talk to childline.
    You cnat change your parent, you cna change how you decide to respond.
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    I feel like as if he would love or care about me more if I was his because he just wants me to have a good job and be well educated but doesn't care about how I will get there and need to do everything myself.For example sixth forms we were meant to look at them he delayed it for months so I did all the work myself and will probably do the application forms for next year myself is well.I feel overwhelmed with emotions I am tired of feeling unloved I want to be provided with other needs not just the essentials such as compliments or hugs emotional support to be precise.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Go and see your GP and get some counseling. You will be able to talk to someone about it and make sure you dont turn it in on yourself. You might also needs some self esteem counseling. Its very common to have issues with a step parent. You sound quite depressed and distressed. If you are under 18 then talk to childline.
    You cnat change your parent, you cna change how you decide to respond.
    I went to 4 sessions but my mum thought it was not working we went for anxiety and panic attacks so I no longer go also the process takes months to even get an appointment
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    (Original post by Anonymous1502)
    I went to 4 sessions but my mum thought it was not working we went for anxiety and panic attacks so I no longer go also the process takes months to even get an appointment
    If your mum doesnt think it works and she is intersted then what is she doing to take its place? You at least get someone to objectively assess you and who you can confide in.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If your mum doesnt think it works and she is intersted then what is she doing to take its place? You at least get someone to objectively assess you and who you can confide in.
    The lady was utrustworthy i didn't like her she is not someone i trusted.
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    Then find another one.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Then find another one.
    I don't know I don't trust the system.
 
 
 
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