Cambridge stress Watch

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tanhai
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Hi guys,
Allow me to introduce myself, I am a student at the University of cambridge, studying Physics. I am a normal hard working person who never had any difficulties with people before, infact being a sporty person i have always been getting along with a large number of people. But here in cambridge i am like an outside, i dont really feel like i fit in with anyone here socially. The other students are really arrogant. Dropping out of Cambridge is not an option. I had a really good friend who also studies the same course as me but recently out of no where he stopped talking to me and i've never been in this situation before and not sure what to do. can anyone give me any advise please ?
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Doones
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(Original post by tanhai)
Hi guys,
Allow me to introduce myself, I am a student at the University of cambridge, studying Physics. I am a normal hard working person who never had any difficulties with people before, infact being a sporty person i have always been getting along with a large number of people. But here in cambridge i am like an outside, i dont really feel like i fit in with anyone here socially. The other students are really arrogant. Dropping out of Cambridge is not an option. I had a really good friend who also studies the same course as me but recently out of no where he stopped talking to me and i've never been in this situation before and not sure what to do. can anyone give me any advise please ?
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Which year are you? Have you discussed your situation with your Tutor?
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tanhai
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(Original post by jneill)
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Which year are you? Have you discussed your situation with your Tutor?
I am a first year, My tutor is not really the kind of person that cares, she is quite irresponsible. I don't she'll help, she will probably tell me it is another 'part of cambridge' thing
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username1865079
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(Original post by tanhai)
I am a first year, My tutor is not really the kind of person that cares, she is quite irresponsible. I don't she'll help, she will probably tell me it is another 'part of cambridge' thing
Being sporty, have joined any club?/society?
It really helps finding a group of people you can bond.
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tanhai
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(Original post by vincrows)
Being sporty, have joined any club?/society?
It really helps finding a group of people you can bond.
No, starting cambridge i got really scared that i wouldn't be able to cope with cambridge academically so i spent the entire first term in the library and lectures but then by time i sorted myself out, it felt a little late :/
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Duke Glacia
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(Original post by tanhai)
I am a first year, My tutor is not really the kind of person that cares, she is quite irresponsible. I don't she'll help, she will probably tell me it is another 'part of cambridge' thing
are you an international student ?
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tanhai
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(Original post by Duke Glacia)
are you an international student ?
I am a home student, From manchester
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username1865079
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(Original post by tanhai)
No, starting cambridge i got really scared that i wouldn't be able to cope with cambridge academically so i spent the entire first term in the library and lectures but then by time i sorted myself out, it felt a little late :/
It's never late. Seriously.
Don't be scared. Many join a club/society when they feel like it, not necessarily at the beginning of year. And some quite mid-term when they become too busy and come back when they're not. It's not like a sports club at school. It's much more flexible, because everybody carries heavy workload and everybody understands others do too.
What sport do you like? Or you can try something you've never done before.

You should never commit yourself to to many things as you won't be able to cope, but it's VERY important to have something outside your academic commitment.

Try rowing for example. Majority of rowers at Cambridge start as a complete novice. They're used to dealing with novices.
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Doones
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(Original post by tanhai)
I am a first year, My tutor is not really the kind of person that cares, she is quite irresponsible. I don't she'll help, she will probably tell me it is another 'part of cambridge' thing
Well, to be frank, it's her job to care. You need to discuss it with her, and if you don't get much help speak to the Welfare Officer in your JCR and/or her Senior Tutor.

There are various support systems in place to try to help so it's definitely worth pursuing them.

(Original post by tanhai)
No, starting cambridge i got really scared that i wouldn't be able to cope with cambridge academically so i spent the entire first term in the library and lectures but then by time i sorted myself out, it felt a little late :/
Ok, so that may have been a mistake... but it's never too late. You can still get involved in your favourite sport. Or trying something new!

You are into Easter Term now with exams looming... maybe get those out of the way and then get more socially active straight afterwards. (Depending on your course.)

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tanhai
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(Original post by vincrows)
It's never late. Seriously.
Don't be scared. Many join a club/society when they feel like it, not necessarily at the beginning of year. And some quite mid-term when they become too busy and come back. It's not like a sports club at school. It's much more flexible, because everybody carries heavy workload and everybody understands others do too.
What sport do you like? Or you can try something you've never done before.

You should never commit yourself to to many things as you won't be able to cope, but it's VERY important to have something outside your academic commitment.

Try rowing for example. Majority of rowers at Cambridge start as a complete novice. They're used to dealing with novices.
My best sports are football, Volleyball and badminton of which only football is available in my college but the season has finished. Also i have my exams in 3 weeks, would you advise taking up a sport now?
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tanhai
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(Original post by jneill)
Well, to be frank, it's her job to care. You need to discuss it with her, and if you don't get much help speak to the Welfare Officer in your JCR and/or her Senior Tutor.

There are various support systems in place to try to help so it's definitely worth pursuing them.



Ok, so that may have been a mistake... but it's never too late. You can still get involved in your favourite sport. Or trying something new!

You are into Easter Term now with exams looming... maybe get those out of the way and then get more socially active straight afterwards. (Depending on your course.)

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Yeah i was hoping to finish the exams first but then go back home, i think hanging out my home friends solve the problem for the summer
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username1865079
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(Original post by tanhai)
My best sports are football, Volleyball and badminton of which only football is available in my college but the season has finished. Also i have my exams in 3 weeks, would you advise taking up a sport now?
There's university-wide clubs for volley ball and badminton. Most colleges don't have a club of their own in those sports because there aren't enough people who play those.
No need to actually join and play now, but it may help to get in touch with the club and go and have a look when they're meeting. And speak to the members. That'd make it easier to join later when exam is finished, perhaps next academic year.
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alcibiade
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My d is 3rd year. While she has been very happy with the friends she has made, the stress can be really really bad. You need to reach out, find the right people, they will help. She has almost never had bad experiences with posh fools and just ignores the arrogance, which she only rarely encounters. Overall, she has had a phenomenal experience at Cam, but it was not without difficult times.

Don't hole up in your room, the loneliness would only get worse that way. The advice to join interest clubs is good. This website appears to not have much activity, but you may find it helpful. https://www.facebook.com/Cambridge-S...337/?ref=br_rs

Good luck.
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tanhai
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(Original post by vincrows)
There's university-wide clubs for volley ball and badminton. Most colleges don't have a club of their own in those sports because there aren't enough people who play those.
No need to actually join and play now, but it may help to get in touch with the club and go and have a look when they're meeting. And speak to the members. That'd make it easier to join later when exam is finished, perhaps next academic year.
Thats actually a good idea, thank you and may i ask you if you are also a cambridge student? if yes, do you have any idea of hard second year Natural science is?
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by tanhai)
Hi guys,
Allow me to introduce myself, I am a student at the University of cambridge, studying Physics. I am a normal hard working person who never had any difficulties with people before, infact being a sporty person i have always been getting along with a large number of people. But here in cambridge i am like an outside, i dont really feel like i fit in with anyone here socially. The other students are really arrogant. Dropping out of Cambridge is not an option. I had a really good friend who also studies the same course as me but recently out of no where he stopped talking to me and i've never been in this situation before and not sure what to do. can anyone give me any advise please ?
Sorry to hear that. It is never too late. Try to join sports societies like the Boat Club or other ones. The Boat Club (boaties!) is known to have a very close-knit community. As long as you keep up with training e.g. erging sessions and what not, they will welcome you with open arms. It is very time consuming, so you need to be sure about it.

You also don't have to limit yourself to your course or college. The beauty of Cambridge is that you can have very close friends in other Colleges that you may not even feel alone.

The great thing is that you don't seem to be struggling academically with a course like Physics. Since it has been almost a year, you should think about how to arrange your schedule, so that you can combine several activities for next term.

There are loads of College and University activities, you don't have to limit yourself to just sports. Be more flexible.

You should focus on next year. After your exams, you would be thinking of going home for holidays (and so would others - especially home students).

Good luck in your exams.
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username1865079
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(Original post by tanhai)
Thats actually a good idea, thank you and may i ask you if you are also a cambridge student? if yes, do you have any idea of hard second year Natural science is?
No I'm not a student but several of my family were at Cambridge, our daughter being the most recent one. Also there're many current/ex-Cambridge students among our friends and their kids.

It will get harder and harder as years go by, I'm afraid, for any course. But you'll get used to it and will be able to find your own way and pace to deal with it.
The second term in the first year is often the most difficult term for many because the first euphoria and novelty as a fresher wears out and the intensity of academic demand intensify.
But you are not the only one. That's a path many have came through. Don't worry too much. You'll be fine. (Though things will not get easier.)
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username1865079
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(Original post by Wired_1800)
Sorry to hear that. It is never too late. Try to join sports societies like the Boat Club or other ones. The Boat Club (boaties!) is known to have a very close-knit community. As long as you keep up with training e.g. erging sessions and what not, they will welcome you with open arms. It is very time consuming, so you need to be sure about it.

You also don't have to limit yourself to your course or college. The beauty of Cambridge is that you can have very close friends in other Colleges that you may not even feel alone.

The great thing is that you don't seem to be struggling academically with a course like Physics. Since it has been almost a year, you should think about how to arrange your schedule, so that you can combine several activities for next term.

There are loads of College and University activities, you don't have to limit yourself to just sports. Be more flexible.

You should focus on next year. After your exams, you would be thinking of going home for holidays (and so would others - especially home students).

Good luck in your exams.

As I mentioned before, my vote to rowing, too!
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Des_Lumières
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(Original post by tanhai)
Hi guys,
Allow me to introduce myself, I am a student at the University of cambridge, studying Physics. I am a normal hard working person who never had any difficulties with people before, infact being a sporty person i have always been getting along with a large number of people. But here in cambridge i am like an outside, i dont really feel like i fit in with anyone here socially. The other students are really arrogant. Dropping out of Cambridge is not an option. I had a really good friend who also studies the same course as me but recently out of no where he stopped talking to me and i've never been in this situation before and not sure what to do. can anyone give me any advise please ?
Hi,
First of all, I empathise with you based on all the stress you've been feeling. That's quite a convergence of factors; not wanting to drop out is very understandable. No wonder you're tired of it. I think you demonstrate an admiral level-headedness not to be considering it!

My take on the situation is that the universities of Oxford and Cambridge are, in part, training a future elite: a future elite that will act with sociopathic arrogance and heartlessness against the population. It's in the job description of being part of the ruling class' band of henchmen. Unfortunately, you are having to rub shoulders with them at the moment.

Here is my advice: to take it as an opportunity, where possible, to cultivate insight into how these people operate (whilst doing what is necessary to meet your own needs, of course, and first and foremost). How do they views themselves, others, and society? This privileged insight could serve you and your work well throughout the rest of your life. In terms of meeting your immediate need to meet people, I would suggest looking a bit further afield. Have you tried groups outside of your college, in other departments, or - if beed be - in the local area? Don't be afraid to look as far and as wide as you need to in order to find people you enjoy being with.

It's impossible to say what is going on with you friend. It could be down to so many factors. It's a shame but if he seems to continue to take a funny turn then perhaps your energies would be better invested elsewhere.

Bonne continuation!
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by vincrows)

As I mentioned before, my vote to rowing, too!
Yeah, those boaties lived in their own world.
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Des_Lumières)
Hi,
First of all, I empathise with you based on all the stress you've been feeling. That's quite a convergence of factors; not wanting to drop out is very understandable. No wonder you're tired of it. I think you demonstrate an admiral level-headedness not to be considering it!

My take on the situation is that the universities of Oxford and Cambridge are, in part, training a future elite: a future elite that will act with sociopathic arrogance and heartlessness against the population. It's in the job description of being part of the ruling class' band of henchmen. Unfortunately, you are having to rub shoulders with them at the moment.

Here is my advice: to take it as an opportunity, where possible, to cultivate insight into how these people operate (whilst doing what is necessary to meet your own needs, of course, and first and foremost). How do they views themselves, others, and society? This privileged insight could serve you and your work well throughout the rest of your life. In terms of meeting your immediate need to meet people, I would suggest looking a bit further afield. Have you tried groups outside of your college, in other departments, or - if beed be - in the local area? Don't be afraid to look as far and as wide as you need to in order to find people you enjoy being with.

It's impossible to say what is going on with you friend. It could be down to so many factors. It's a shame but if he seems to continue to take a funny turn then perhaps your energies would be better invested elsewhere.

Bonne continuation!
Hi, are you studying or did you study at Oxbridge? You seem to have a confident assertion that they are a future elite that will act with sociopathic arrogance and heartlessness against the population.
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