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Did my friend's sister like me or not? Watch

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    So this is an experience that starts back in Year 10 and has carried on in phases throughout school until going to uni.

    I fancied my best friend's sister, Sarah, who's just a year below me, but as I stand today, I really don't know what she thinks or thought of me.

    When I first started fancying her, I got an impression she fancied me too. One of the first things that happened was when I was in Year 10 (and Year 9 for her) it was an assembly and I was at the front with someone and we had to throw out chocolates to some people, and she was sitting in the front row and mimed to me “give some to me” and so I did. I later asked her on Facebook if she enjoyed it and she said yes and thanked me. Starting with that, we used to talk on Facebook a few times and have really friendly conversations which I would always start.

    Once at my friend's house for a campout, I was alone in the tent out in the garden, and I could have sworn I heard a young, feminine voice saying my name twice from inside the house (and she is the only other child). Later, when passing her inside, Sarah gave me this really friendly, wide smile. One time I even got a message from her account saying "I LOVEEEE YOU!". I thanked her for saying that, thinking she'd written it, but I didn't mention anything on how I also felt out of embarrassment. She responded saying that a friend had gone on her account and written it instead, but I found it odd why it was targeted specifically at me. Around this period, she also looked at me a few times when walking past her in school, and at one point she was coming down some stairs and I was standing at the bottom waiting to go to my lesson, and her eyes literally kept darting back and forth from me as she walked from the stairs but she wasn't showing any facial expressions. It was like she was trying to be inconspicuous about it.

    However, as time went on we seemed to drift apart. Our conversations became shorter as her responses were more vague and brief, almost as if she didn’t really want to talk, and so I messaged her less and less, every time with the same types of response, until I stopped. She also stopped looking at me when we passed, at which point I thought she didn't like me back and I just left it as it was and moved on. I didn’t really think about it after that as we had totally zero contact for a long while, thinking she felt nothing towards me, but then some other odd stuff happened.

    One time in the Library, now in Year 13 and Sarah in Year 12, I was sitting at a computer on one side. Her friend was working at a computer on the opposite side and one away from me. Sarah then came in and started talking to her friend. After 20 seconds or so, for some reason the friend logged off and then they both moved round to my side, with Sarah sitting on the computer right next to me. What I found strange was that they didn't really need to move at all as there was a computer next to her friend on the other side. We said nothing, but it still seemed odd, and it never happened again either.

    Then after several more months of nothing happening, I was standing outside her form room as my form was having a quiz with hers (I didn’t know it was her form at the time, though), and as she came up to the door and went in, she glanced at me and said "hi" to me, and I said “hi” back, and this was the first time she'd ever spoken to me in person.

    A week or so later I followed her on Twitter, but nothing happened for a while whilst she remained continuously active online. In the meantime, we again had no contact for a few weeks until I went to another friend’s party. She was there with one of her guy friends (they are just as they’ve known each other a long time) and for most of the night she was hanging out with him, but at one point as I was talking to my friend, Sarah came up to talk to him and then whilst there she said “hi” to me and asked how I was. Despite her talking to me, the whole conversation for some reason felt really awkward between us and it quickly tailed off (but at least she made the effort to talk). I then just saw her and her guy friend hanging out at the party for the rest of the night and again thought there was no chance of her liking me, although she glanced at me a few times at the party since that encounter, which was a first after a long time.

    Following on, several weeks after I initially followed her on Twitter, and a good week after the party, she followed me back. Thing is I don’t understand why it took her so long to do it if she was going to anyway, and why then?

    Finally, after I'd left school I sent her a message just wishing her luck for her final school year and whatever she did afterward, and she sent back an enthusiastic short paragraph thanking me and briefly asking me what I was doing, and when I told her about the uni I would go to she said "Sounds fab, I'm sure you'll really enjoy it!". I got Instagram soon after and I followed her and this time she followed back straight away. I stayed over at my friend's days before I went to uni and saw her very briefly then and she said "hi" and possibly asked how I was, but that was it really. She didn't stick around long as she was doing something. She's liked the odd post I've put up on Instagram but since starting uni we've not had any contact at all.

    I've just started thinking about the whole scenario recently even though there's not really much point pursuing it anymore. I basically don’t understand whether or not she likes me, or had at one point liked me, or what she even thinks of me generally, after all these years of strange events that have been going on. Maybe perhaps she used to like me and then went off me when I didn’t do anything, or if that were the case, maybe recently she’d started thinking about me again? Maybe she’s always liked me but we just drifted apart because neither of us wanted to do anything, or maybe she never had any feelings for me and I’ve been getting the wrong idea all this time? I just don’t know what to think. Based off all this do you have any ideas? I'm just curious to hear other opinions about it.
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    It sounds like something might have been possible if you'd figured out what you felt for her and made it clear to her. It doesn't sound particularly feasible now you're at university and she is presumably elsewhere.
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    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    Once at my friend's house for a campout, I was alone in the tent out in the garden, and I could have sworn I heard a young, feminine voice saying my name twice from inside the house (and she is the only other child). Later, when passing her inside, Sarah gave me this really friendly, wide smile. One time I even got a message from her account saying "I LOVEEEE YOU!". I thanked her for saying that, thinking she'd written it, but I didn't mention anything on how I also felt out of embarrassment. She responded saying that a friend had gone on her account and written it instead, but I found it odd why it was targeted specifically at me. Around this period, she also looked at me a few times when walking past her in school, and at one point she was coming down some stairs and I was standing at the bottom waiting to go to my lesson, and her eyes literally kept darting back and forth from me as she walked from the stairs but she wasn't showing any facial expressions. It was like she was trying to be inconspicuous about it.
    To me this sounds as if she was into you to begin with, but as time went on and nothing happened she probably got tired of waiting around for you to make the first move? (This is just what I'm thinking). It's a typical thing girls (and some guys) use to do when they were younger. Either she sent you that message on purpose to see how you'd respond, or she actually really did like you, told her mates and her mates thought it would be funny to message you.

    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    Then after several more months of nothing happening, I was standing outside her form room as my form was having a quiz with hers (I didn’t know it was her form at the time, though), and as she came up to the door and went in, she glanced at me and said "hi" to me, and I said “hi” back, and this was the first time she'd ever spoken to me in person.
    I reckon her initiating a conversation is just her way of trying to break the ice after a few years not talking to one another, and knowing that you use to speak when you were younger. If that was me I would find it awkward to talk to you, but it would play through my mind "I wonder what he thinks of me now".

    I was kind of in the same situation as you. Had a thing for this guy from the year below, flirted a lot in year 10/11. Everything stopped until I went skiing with him in year 13, we had become really close, and I'm surprised nothing happened. A few months passed, and I plucked up the courage to say "Hey, it's been a while! We should catch up sometime". And it worked, a week later he found himself in my bed:bigsmile:.

    If I were you, I'd pop up to her and ask how she's doing, what she's planning on doing after her exams, and ask to have catch up ("netflix and chill". There is nothing wrong with trying one last time.
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    (Original post by Ceriidwen)
    To me this sounds as if she was into you to begin with, but as time went on and nothing happened she probably got tired of waiting around for you to make the first move? (This is just what I'm thinking). It's a typical thing girls (and some guys) use to do when they were younger. Either she sent you that message on purpose to see how you'd respond, or she actually really did like you, told her mates and her mates thought it would be funny to message you.



    I reckon her initiating a conversation is just her way of trying to break the ice after a few years not talking to one another, and knowing that you use to speak when you were younger. If that was me I would find it awkward to talk to you, but it would play through my mind "I wonder what he thinks of me now".

    I was kind of in the same situation as you. Had a thing for this guy from the year below, flirted a lot in year 10/11. Everything stopped until I went skiing with him in year 13, we had become really close, and I'm surprised nothing happened. A few months passed, and I plucked up the courage to say "Hey, it's been a while! We should catch up sometime". And it worked, a week later he found himself in my bed:bigsmile:.

    If I were you, I'd pop up to her and ask how she's doing, what she's planning on doing after her exams, and ask to have catch up ("netflix and chill". There is nothing wrong with trying one last time.
    Yeah, I see exactly what you're saying, and it would be a shame if I'd wasted an opportunity for something to come of it. The only potential issue at the moment is that I'm at uni some 97 miles away from where they live, although I'll be home for Summer in a month's time. If I were to speak to her again, it would have to be over message and sometimes our conversations hadn't really gone on for very long so I'd be worried about coming across as "creepy" or persistent by messaging her again, who I of course hadn't had much personal interaction with over the years? I've actually not ever told my friend about how I felt for his sister, although at school he used to say things like how it would be "so cool" if we were to get together because it would mean possibly being my brother-in-law so I'm confident that he'd be fine with it. Despite everything, and I were to try again just to see what would come of it, should I just send him a message and tell him the truth first or try to message her again first, or even just move on now? But thanks for your suggestions there!
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    (Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
    It sounds like something might have been possible if you'd figured out what you felt for her and made it clear to her. It doesn't sound particularly feasible now you're at university and she is presumably elsewhere.
    Yeah, on hindsight some things seems to point that way, but I was always too shy to do anything given the relationship, being the sister of my best friend. As I hadn't had much personal interaction with her, I didn't really want to make things awkward in the event that she didn't feel the same, but that's the problem with not being brave. Thanks for the advice though
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    (Original post by Ceriidwen)

    I was kind of in the same situation as you. Had a thing for this guy from the year below, flirted a lot in year 10/11. Everything stopped until I went skiing with him in year 13, we had become really close, and I'm surprised nothing happened. A few months passed, and I plucked up the courage to say "Hey, it's been a while! We should catch up sometime". And it worked, a week later he found himself in my bed:bigsmile:.

    If I were you, I'd pop up to her and ask how she's doing, what she's planning on doing after her exams, and ask to have catch up ("netflix and chill". There is nothing wrong with trying one last time.
    'Wait, What am I doing here? Was I drugged?'
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    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    Yeah, I see exactly what you're saying, and it would be a shame if I'd wasted an opportunity for something to come of it. The only potential issue at the moment is that I'm at uni some 97 miles away from where they live, although I'll be home for Summer in a month's time. If I were to speak to her again, it would have to be over message and sometimes our conversations hadn't really gone on for very long so I'd be worried about coming across as "creepy" or persistent by messaging her again, who I of course hadn't had much personal interaction with over the years? I've actually not ever told my friend about how I felt for his sister, although at school he used to say things like how it would be "so cool" if we were to get together because it would mean possibly being my brother-in-law so I'm confident that he'd be fine with it. Despite everything, and I were to try again just to see what would come of it, should I just send him a message and tell him the truth first or try to message her again first, or even just move on now? But thanks for your suggestions there!
    Ah that is true! You could send her a message sometime soon or closer to the date you go back home, and ask for a catch up one on one (go out for a coffee or something). At least then you will know if she's interested if she replies with a yes.

    If your friend is the type of guy to go straight to his sister and boast about it, I wouldn't. If he's the type of guy to wingman you and subtly hint, then yeah go for it! As long as he doesn't go too far haha.
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    'Wait, What am I doing here? Was I drugged?'
    Now reading over that, it does sound a bit dodgy..
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    (Original post by Ceriidwen)
    Now reading over that, it does sound a bit dodgy..
    Some people go to monasteries to find themselves, you must be a pretty good catch
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    The thing is if you declare your feelings for her you will spend few months with her before leaving again. Also she might have moved on, I wish you took your chances while you were both at sixth-form as you could have got to spend more time together.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    The thing is if you declare your feelings for her you will spend few months with her before leaving again. Also she might have moved on, I wish you took your chances while you were both at sixth-form as you could have got to spend more time together.
    They're my main concerns, firstly that she could have felt like that at the time and now I've missed the chance, and the distance. Having said that, she'll probably be going to university herself in September, but that of course could be anywhere. Assuming she does, she could go to a uni that's not too far from here, which could work OK, or go to one that's right on the other side of the country. I think though, ultimately I'd just like some firm closure one way or the other, at least then I would know where to go with it.
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    (Original post by Ceriidwen)
    Ah that is true! You could send her a message sometime soon or closer to the date you go back home, and ask for a catch up one on one (go out for a coffee or something). At least then you will know if she's interested if she replies with a yes.

    If your friend is the type of guy to go straight to his sister and boast about it, I wouldn't. If he's the type of guy to wingman you and subtly hint, then yeah go for it! As long as he doesn't go too far haha.
    One thing I forgot to mention was that on the first birthday I had with Facebook, she posted 'Happy Birthdaay!?' on my wall which I gave a positive response to, but this was several years ago now. She hasn't done it for any others since.

    I've also had a look at some of our older messages and the way the conversations went really varies. Sometimes I would say "Hey Sarah" and she would say just say "Hello!" before I said something else, like asking what she was getting up to and she would respond (it was 50/50 on whether she would ask about me as well) but the conversations never really seemed to go beyond this. Other times, mainly in the most recent ones when I was in Year 13, I asked how sixth form was and sent a kiss. She responded, this time addressing me by name, which she hadn't really done before, but didn't send a kiss and so I obviously didn't persist with kisses after that.

    I liked how the last one went though (this was wishing her luck for Year 13 and beyond).It read "Thank you Rob, that's so nice of you!! It's not late at all, my first exam I this morning so just in time 😂 which uni are you going to? Also good luck with everything as well". This seemed the most conversive she'd been in a while, and then apart from that brief encounter at their house just before uni and following me back on Instagram, nothing's happened since but that's to be expected really. Just thought I'd bring this up as I find it an interesting aspect of the situation.
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    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    They're my main concerns, firstly that she could have felt like that at the time and now I've missed the chance, and the distance. Having said that, she'll probably be going to university herself in September, but that of course could be anywhere. Assuming she does, she could go to a uni that's not too far from here, which could work OK, or go to one that's right on the other side of the country. I think though, ultimately I'd just like some firm closure one way or the other, at least then I would know where to go with it.
    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    One thing I forgot to mention was that on the first birthday I had with Facebook, she posted 'Happy Birthdaay!?' on my wall which I gave a positive response to, but this was several years ago now. She hasn't done it for any others since.

    I've also had a look at some of our older messages and the way the conversations went really varies. Sometimes I would say "Hey Sarah" and she would say just say "Hello!" before I said something else, like asking what she was getting up to and she would respond (it was 50/50 on whether she would ask about me as well) but the conversations never really seemed to go beyond this. Other times, mainly in the most recent ones when I was in Year 13, I asked how sixth form was and sent a kiss. She responded, this time addressing me by name, which she hadn't really done before, but didn't send a kiss and so I obviously didn't persist with kisses after that.

    I liked how the last one went though (this was wishing her luck for Year 13 and beyond).It read "Thank you Rob, that's so nice of you!! It's not late at all, my first exam I this morning so just in time 😂 which uni are you going to? Also good luck with everything as well". This seemed the most conversive she'd been in a while, and then apart from that brief encounter at their house just before uni and following me back on Instagram, nothing's happened since but that's to be expected really. Just thought I'd bring this up as I find it an interesting aspect of the situation.
    To be honest her messages seem polite plus if she was interested surely she would put more effort into her replies but maybe she is not a messaging person?
    Also don't get your hopes up with her, you need to see whether she is interested before worrying about the distance but it can be quite tough as you both will be at different uni if she decides to go to one further away and a chance she could meet someone there.
    The messages look like she had a bit of a crush on you in year 9 but I'm not sure if the feelings still there.
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    (Original post by RobertEllis97)
    One thing I forgot to mention was that on the first birthday I had with Facebook, she posted 'Happy Birthdaay!?' on my wall which I gave a positive response to, but this was several years ago now. She hasn't done it for any others since.

    I've also had a look at some of our older messages and the way the conversations went really varies. Sometimes I would say "Hey Sarah" and she would say just say "Hello!" before I said something else, like asking what she was getting up to and she would respond (it was 50/50 on whether she would ask about me as well) but the conversations never really seemed to go beyond this. Other times, mainly in the most recent ones when I was in Year 13, I asked how sixth form was and sent a kiss. She responded, this time addressing me by name, which she hadn't really done before, but didn't send a kiss and so I obviously didn't persist with kisses after that.

    I liked how the last one went though (this was wishing her luck for Year 13 and beyond).It read "Thank you Rob, that's so nice of you!! It's not late at all, my first exam I this morning so just in time 😂 which uni are you going to? Also good luck with everything as well". This seemed the most conversive she'd been in a while, and then apart from that brief encounter at their house just before uni and following me back on Instagram, nothing's happened since but that's to be expected really. Just thought I'd bring this up as I find it an interesting aspect of the situation.
    If anything I'd forget about the past conversations that did go too well and focus on now. The last time you spoke to her it went good! So I'd continue from that.
 
 
 
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