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    I'd like to know people's thoughts on this situation.

    Say you're into the online dating, you match with someone and get talking and arrange to meet up.

    Upon meeting them you then realise they have a physical condition of some kind.

    Could be anything, missing a limb, wheelchair bound etc...

    Would it bother you that they didn't say this was the case before hand? Would you prefer to know before you went out of your way to meet up or is it not even something that'd bother you if the person was otherwise okay?

    I was just thinking about this and want to know what people REALLY think or would want to happen... Even if you have to go Anon to be brutally honest, do so because I'd like a wide range of honest opinions.

    Also, this didn't happen to me or anything like that, it's literally something I just thought up and wondered what the widespread opinion would be.
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    It's clearly best to be up front with anything which is immediately obvious. Something that isn't, you might chose to keep to yourself until you judge is the right moment.
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    tbh, I recon I'd give them a chance. People should mention this stuff though
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    "Hey, cool missing limb, I bet there's a story behind that!"

    Doesn't work so well if it was a traumatic accident, but otherwise I'd imagine it'd serve as a somewhat reasonable ice-breaker.
    Of course, I might be completely wrong :ahee:
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    I'm sure people with missing limbs/wheelchair bound wouldn't hide it till the first meeting, because there always be a shock face ...

    I would personally be a little upset, not because of disability rather lack of honesty.
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    I think it depends. Maybe it should be mentioned, but on the other hand maybe not. If it is a condition that wouldn't be obvious, I'd probably mention it on maybe the 3rd or 5th date. Sometimes I think people are scared off too easily and that gives them a chance to get to know who YOU are first but still within a reasonable amount of time to decide if it's not for them.
    That's just my opinion
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    (Original post by Spirited-Sleeper)
    I think it depends. Maybe it should be mentioned, but on the other hand maybe not. If it is a condition that wouldn't be obvious, I'd probably mention it on maybe the 3rd or 5th date. Sometimes I think people are scared off too easily and that gives them a chance to get to know who YOU are first but still within a reasonable amount of time to decide if it's not for them.
    That's just my opinion
    This is mainly what I was thinking, when you know something about someone like that it can change the way you think about them and talk to them. Even if it's not intentional, it's definitely a thing that happens. It's a hard thing to nail down. If you were talking online and getting to know each other prior to meeting, I think it makes sense as you can learn about each other that way and then after learning about the condition, you already have a good idea of the person behind it.
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    (Original post by Richci)
    I'd like to know people's thoughts on this situation.

    Say you're into the online dating, you match with someone and get talking and arrange to meet up.

    Upon meeting them you then realise they have a physical condition of some kind.

    Could be anything, missing a limb, wheelchair bound etc...

    Would it bother you that they didn't say this was the case before hand? Would you prefer to know before you went out of your way to meet up or is it not even something that'd bother you if the person was otherwise okay?

    I was just thinking about this and want to know what people REALLY think or would want to happen... Even if you have to go Anon to be brutally honest, do so because I'd like a wide range of honest opinions.

    Also, this didn't happen to me or anything like that, it's literally something I just thought up and wondered what the widespread opinion would be.
    No I would prefer knowing in a person*. This shows you are confident and know how to take charge of situations which I personally find attractive.*Terms and conditions apply... I mean if its a physical disability it would be nice to talk before hand unless you are madly interested in the person and you don't want to him/her to judge you (which most of the people do). If its a mental disability then take your time, meet the person and if you consider him/her trustworthy, go ahead, take him/her in confidence and say it. But don't mourn about anything, just be honest and say it. If you talk about how this happened, how it impacted you, what have you done to beat it that shows that you are strong enough to turn the tables down.
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    (Original post by Richci)
    This is mainly what I was thinking, when you know something about someone like that it can change the way you think about them and talk to them. Even if it's not intentional, it's definitely a thing that happens. It's a hard thing to nail down. If you were talking online and getting to know each other prior to meeting, I think it makes sense as you can learn about each other that way and then after learning about the condition, you already have a good idea of the person behind it.
    I know this from personal experience, (most) people don't intentionally judge you but once you know something it can't help but sway your thoughts -even if it's the slightest bit. I wouldn't usually say to someone straight away that I have a condition just to spare the impending judgement.. but sometimes I wonder what would actually happen if I did. Kind of a "take me as I am" or leave kind of thing

    At least if you mentioned it straight away/ early it could save a lot of grief in the future if they turn out to be not so accepting of it....
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    Is this purely about physical "conditions"?

    I wouldn't mind if someone was missing a limb or was in a wheelchair or something but I would kind of like to know first just because it'd kind of be a surprise otherwise and I'd probably put my foot in it or something. At least if they tell me upfront I have time to digest it not right in front of them.

    I would definitely understand if someone didn't disclose a mental condition before meeting. I have a psychotic disorder diagnosis and if I was on online dating I wouldn't tell the person. Maybe I'm wrong to keep it from them? But a lot of people immediately think "psycho killer" when they hear that kind of diagnosis and I'd like them to get to know me before judging first.
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    If I was in a position where I used dating websites then I would absolutely be okay with meeting up with someone with a physical 'condition'. At the end of the day they're proving just how brave they are by showing up and how confident they are to know how great they are even if they have lost a limb etc... Damn, give me some of that confidence and bravery boyyy ;P But on a serious note, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just how they are, no biggy
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    (Original post by Spirited-Sleeper)
    I know this from personal experience, (most) people don't intentionally judge you but once you know something it can't help but sway your thoughts -even if it's the slightest bit. I wouldn't usually say to someone straight away that I have a condition just to spare the impending judgement.. but sometimes I wonder what would actually happen if I did. Kind of a "take me as I am" or leave kind of thing

    At least if you mentioned it straight away/ early it could save a lot of grief in the future if they turn out to be not so accepting of it....
    Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's that 'take me as I am' mentality that interests me. It's all really intriguing to me honestly. People not being accepting of things I guess is the really big part, I wonder how many people have been forthcoming about things and been shut down? Or have spoke like normal and got to know someone and not mentioned it, but then met up and gone from there. It's a crazy thing to spring on someone for sure...

    I wish we could have some tales of experience to follow this up!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is this purely about physical "conditions"?

    I wouldn't mind if someone was missing a limb or was in a wheelchair or something but I would kind of like to know first just because it'd kind of be a surprise otherwise and I'd probably put my foot in it or something. At least if they tell me upfront I have time to digest it not right in front of them.

    I would definitely understand if someone didn't disclose a mental condition before meeting. I have a psychotic disorder diagnosis and if I was on online dating I wouldn't tell the person. Maybe I'm wrong to keep it from them? But a lot of people immediately think "psycho killer" when they hear that kind of diagnosis and I'd like them to get to know me before judging first.
    I was thinking purely physical conditions yeah, I agree with you. I think it's pretty much a must, if only to save any awkwardness of face to face reactions and such. I agree on not disclosing mental conditions and even emotional issues, it's kinda scary when most of the time it really needn't be...

    (Original post by Samiixoxo)
    If I was in a position where I used dating websites then I would absolutely be okay with meeting up with someone with a physical 'condition'. At the end of the day they're proving just how brave they are by showing up and how confident they are to know how great they are even if they have lost a limb etc... Damn, give me some of that confidence and bravery boyyy ;P But on a serious note, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just how they are, no biggy
    That's a really great way to look at it. I never considered the confidence aspect of it, I'm sure that'd be massive for a lot of people. This thread is restoring my faith in humanity.
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    (Original post by Samiixoxo)
    If I was in a position where I used dating websites then I would absolutely be okay with meeting up with someone with a physical 'condition'. At the end of the day they're proving just how brave they are by showing up and how confident they are to know how great they are even if they have lost a limb etc... Damn, give me some of that confidence and bravery boyyy ;P But on a serious note, it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just how they are, no biggy
    It's kinda awkward for me because mine is a physical condition but it's what I like to call an invisible illness. Honestly I seem 'normal' surface deep, but anyone who knows me well enough, can see what others can't. That I struggle. Just thought I'd share that. I feel incredibly awkward telling people I have a condition which is why I'm deliberately always so vague about it all.
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    (Original post by Richci)
    I'd like to know people's thoughts on this situation.

    Say you're into the online dating, you match with someone and get talking and arrange to meet up.

    Upon meeting them you then realise they have a physical condition of some kind.

    Could be anything, missing a limb, wheelchair bound etc...

    Would it bother you that they didn't say this was the case before hand? Would you prefer to know before you went out of your way to meet up or is it not even something that'd bother you if the person was otherwise okay?

    I was just thinking about this and want to know what people REALLY think or would want to happen... Even if you have to go Anon to be brutally honest, do so because I'd like a wide range of honest opinions.

    Also, this didn't happen to me or anything like that, it's literally something I just thought up and wondered what the widespread opinion would be.
    Depends on the condition really. If someone has a disfigured face, i might feel a little regretful at not getting a picture. If someone is missing a limb, not bothered
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    I always thought that if someone wanted to know what was, erm, wrong with me they would just ask (and I'd be completely willing to divulge!) but no-one has asked me in several years. I haven't ever really considered telling people of my own accord, because it feels like bringing attention to something that up until that point didn't seem important. :dontknow:

    And I wouldn't want to be one of those guys on OKCupid just listing their diseases... I'm not sure how that could possibly endear yourself to someone. I also don't think it would be something to bring up on a first date. Maybe if they ask
 
 
 
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