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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    Most of my friends only do things that are convenient to them. I mean, I wouldn't do things that I really don't want to do but if I CAN help my friends and it doesn't bother me too much then I'll always be willing to help them. I expect them to do the same for me, but they don't and it often pisses me off.

    Off the top of my head for example, I wanted to go to a theme park with about 15 of them. I organized it so I bought the tickets. We went there 1 month later. I advanced them money. It was about £300, I didn't ask anything I waited the following month to 'get the money back'. When they organize something, or buy a present from all of us they can't even advance me £5...

    I don't live in the same city as them, so I have to drive about 1 hour to see them (30min to go there and 30min to come back) and sometimes I do it three or four times a week. I don't mind, I do it because I want to see them. I invited them to come to my place ONCE and some of them said they wouldn't come because it's too far. LOL.

    I have many other examples but I think you get the point. Maybe it's my fault after all cause most people I know are like that. What should I do? I would like to do the same for some reason I can't, it's not in my nature.

    Thanks.
    • #2
    #2

    I have the same issue, I've just let them get on with there own thing to be honest. If you always pander to their selfishness they'll continue to be selfish.It's exam season soon and it's time for me to be selfish - that means not wasting energy feeling down about their attitude.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have the same issue, I've just let them get on with there own thing to be honest. If you always pander to their selfishness they'll continue to be selfish.It's exam season soon and it's time for me to be selfish - that means not wasting energy feeling down about their attitude.
    Thanks for the answer. Well you can't change them so yeah it makes sense. But when you did that has it changed anything in the friendship you had with them? I like my friends and want to keep seeing them as often but that selfishness is annoying.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the answer. Well you can't change them so yeah it makes sense. But when you did that has it changed anything in the friendship you had with them? I like my friends and want to keep seeing them as often but that selfishness is annoying.
    I think one of my friends realised what was up, and when she realised that I wasn't making the effort anymore her attitude changed and I think we're closer now than we were before. But it really depends on the personalities of your friends.

    Also apologies for a typo in my original response, I was supposed to say "It's exam season soon..."
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    Just set a limit. If they dont offer the same generoisty to you then restrict it to them. At some stage you have to make a choice and accept them as they are or raise it with them. Perhaps they give in other aspects.
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    To be honest you should just stop advancing them money. It's a bad idea to do in the first place, you're always running the risk of someone not paying it back and leaving you out of pocket and some people might not be able to afford to pay extra up front.

    As far as the distance thing. If you live a long way and they all live together then yeah it is going to be you travelling, it just makes sense.

    Generally, if you feel you do too much, just stop. Accept things for what they are, accept people are flawed and they can still like you without fancying driving an hour each way.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    To be honest you should just stop advancing them money. It's a bad idea to do in the first place, you're always running the risk of someone not paying it back and leaving you out of pocket and some people might not be able to afford to pay extra up front.

    As far as the distance thing. If you live a long way and they all live together then yeah it is going to be you travelling, it just makes sense.

    Generally, if you feel you do too much, just stop. Accept things for what they are, accept people are flawed and they can still like you without fancying driving an hour each way.
    Thanks for your help.

    Those were just two examples that were on my mind. When I started this thread I was a bit pissed but hopefully not ALL of my friends are like that and those who are well they have other good qualities. Yes, I'll just stop making efforts with people who don't.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    Most of my friends only do things that are convenient to them. I mean, I wouldn't do things that I really don't want to do but if I CAN help my friends and it doesn't bother me too much then I'll always be willing to help them. I expect them to do the same for me, but they don't and it often pisses me off.

    Off the top of my head for example, I wanted to go to a theme park with about 15 of them. I organized it so I bought the tickets. We went there 1 month later. I advanced them money. It was about £300, I didn't ask anything I waited the following month to 'get the money back'. When they organize something, or buy a present from all of us they can't even advance me £5...

    I don't live in the same city as them, so I have to drive about 1 hour to see them (30min to go there and 30min to come back) and sometimes I do it three or four times a week. I don't mind, I do it because I want to see them. I invited them to come to my place ONCE and some of them said they wouldn't come because it's too far. LOL.

    I have many other examples but I think you get the point. Maybe it's my fault after all cause most people I know are like that. What should I do? I would like to do the same for some reason I can't, it's not in my nature.

    Thanks.
    ok I'm going to be perfectly honest here, friends that can't be bothered paying even £5 when you paid £300...I wouldn't even consider them as friends...I'd suggest you look for friends who appreciate you instead of ones who just use you and don't pay you back whatsoever...
    I'll be more honest...if I were you I wouldn't leave them, but I would act like a proper b*tch to them till they get the point and be done with me...if not all the better, enjoy my revenge

    and it's your choice after all, hope I helped
    • TSR Support Team
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    I'd find better friends. I wouldn't have bother paying for the tickets unless it's money you can afford to lose.

    If they say you live too far, meet them somewhere half way?
 
 
 
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