Been dating this girl for about 3 and a half weeks. When we first met there was a really good connection between us both and we kissed on first date. She makes me feel like the sexiest person she's ever seen the way she always tells me how cute and hot I am etc.
Over time though I started feeling like it wasn't really going anywhere for a few reasons. Mainly because we would hang out pretty regularly just chilling at each other's places and occasionally going to the park quite a few times too. I kept suggesting doing stuff like dinner, trips to the zoo and stuff but it would never happen. I don't necessarily not like just chilling and stuff,. I actually like it but I was just really confused about how she viewed me as a result.
Eventually she told me she doesn't like doing stuff in public and because she likes doing free or cheap things which sounds reasonable as we're both university students. In the end however I felt like more of a friend who she likes to casually hangout with every now and then as opposed to a guy she is dating. (Although for some reason she likes cuddling in public which makes no sense).
There was also a habit, despite us hanging out a lot, developing her suggesting meeting up but never happening a few times. she kept on sayig she was distracted and forgot but she has told me in the past she is clumsy and has bad memor so I was a bit confused.
There was another issue too. Not long after we first met she would send me messages telling me how happy she is because she is having so much fun dating other guys. I thought this was a bit disrespectful because while I know it's reasonable for her to date other people I thought it was a bit off to kind of rub it in my face like that. I told her I felt uncomfortable about her telling me it and it was settled.
A few weeks later she sends me a snapchat of her in a guys car with the message 'guys with cars (laughing emoji) bearing in mind just a few days prior she had asked me if I had a car/if I could drive which I said no. I interpreted the snapchat therefore as her way of trying to make me jealous as if the underlying message was to say 'you've got competition' otherwise why else would she send me that message I wondered. I asked a female friend of mine and they also said to me that she was clearly tying to make you jealous.
Anyway that was the final straw for me, in combination with my first point that I didn't feel like it was going anywhere (despite the fact I most iterate I really like her nevertheless) I decided to ignore her for a bit. She continually messaged me until eventually she told me that if I don't want to speak to her anymore that I please tell her.
So I confronted her and opened up about how I felt it wasn't going anywhere for the reasons I have said and expressed my dislike of my thinking she was trying to make me jealous and play games with me. I told her I think we should stop seeing eachother but she said she was in no way trying to make me jealous and she isn't the type of person to do that. She asked to give it another go and I accepted.
We went on a date,. Lasted a few hours it was a little picnic in the park in the sun with music etc and it was really nice suffice to say. Earlier on in the date she put her arm around mine and in the past she has grabbed my hand before so I thought she was comfortable with it so on the way home I went to hold her hand but she said she doesn't like holding hands because she needs both arms free to balance herself properly.
Anyway. I thought the date went well but a few hours after the date she messages me saying because of me accusing her of trying to make me jealous and the talk we had were I nearly broke it off she declared as a result she has lost the passion she once had if me and doesn't like me as much anymore and told me she no longer wants to date, also saying she thought I was too clingy which seems weird since I was the one who initially was about to cut it off before I decided to give her another chance when she asked. I do kiss her a lot but only because she has told me she likes to just kiss me for a few minutes because im so hot so I thought she would be comfortable with it.
The next day i'm feeling depressed so I go to the park by myself to chill. Out of nowhere after an hour she unexpectedly approaches me from behind and starts talking to me. She asks whether I want to cuddle and I said if you want so we did. She then invited me around for dinner but she never said when so who knows if it will happen. We haven't spoken since, and it's been the very first time she has actually gone an entire day without contacting me in almost a month of seeing each other. I have no idea what is going on.
I want to continue seeing her but I don't know if she feels the same way. Why say you no longer want to date me but less than 24 hours later ask if I want to cuddle and invite me around for dinner? When she said she no longer wants to date she said she would still like to be friends but I made it perfectly clear I don't think I can continue just being friends. I feel really bad about opening up and accusing her now when it was probably just me overthinking.
What do I do? If I ask her what's going on between us she will probably think I'm being clingy again when I feel like it's a perfectly reasonable question to ask given the circumstances ? It's really messing with my feelings and most of all my anxiety not knowing where I stand.
Mixed signals. Not sure what to do. Is it over? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-05-2016 18:01
- 10-05-2016 18:27
Sounds very immature and lots of drama around her I would not contact her again you could do better.