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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yesterday was his birthday, which reminded me how angry and bitter I am at the way he treated me, and how bitter and angry I am at myself for wasting so much time loving him.

    He lied about having feelings for me and feeling the same way that I do. Even when I ended things he was still lying about that. I know he was lying because actions speak louder than words and he treated me with indifference when he was done using me. He used me for comfort after another girl hurt him, hurting me deeply every day by telling me in great detail about his love for her, even though considering our relationship he should have known how that made me feel (probably knew but didn't care, I'm done making excuses for him).

    I just want to know how to overcome this hatred and anger that I have been feeling towards him recently. My life has really gone downhill and I have fallen into depression, mainly because of frustrating financial problems. The only thing bringing me any comfort is blaming and directing my anger towards him. I know that it isn't healthy and that he isn't worth my time and energy. What is the best way to go about changing this?
    • #2
    #2

    Think of it like this... You lived something that many people don't get to live through. Yeah, right now it sucks, but once you get over it, and can look back on the situation, you'll see that it probably helped you in some way or another. Now at least you know how to handle your trust. Glad you broke it off with him, shows you're learning to take care of yourself first, and that's important, because to care for another requires you to care for yourself. Remember, a coin can be rusty as hell, but it is still a currency. You learn from your mistakes, and that's all you can do. Move on with your life.

    And for your financial issues, most people go through that at one point or another. Set yourself a goal, and take your time to get there.

    Hope this helps.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yesterday was his birthday, which reminded me how angry and bitter I am at the way he treated me, and how bitter and angry I am at myself for wasting so much time loving him.

    He lied about having feelings for me and feeling the same way that I do. Even when I ended things he was still lying about that. I know he was lying because actions speak louder than words and he treated me with indifference when he was done using me. He used me for comfort after another girl hurt him, hurting me deeply every day by telling me in great detail about his love for her, even though considering our relationship he should have known how that made me feel (probably knew but didn't care, I'm done making excuses for him).

    I just want to know how to overcome this hatred and anger that I have been feeling towards him recently. My life has really gone downhill and I have fallen into depression, mainly because of frustrating financial problems. The only thing bringing me any comfort is blaming and directing my anger towards him. I know that it isn't healthy and that he isn't worth my time and energy. What is the best way to go about changing this?
    Well how long ago did this happen to you? Who else do you have in your life? How exactly did he use you? I know exactly how you feel, I have been through something similar, I can talk in more detail if you can PM me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Think of it like this... You lived something that many people don't get to live through. Yeah, right now it sucks, but once you get over it, and can look back on the situation, you'll see that it probably helped you in some way or another. Now at least you know how to handle your trust. Glad you broke it off with him, shows you're learning to take care of yourself first, and that's important, because to care for another requires you to care for yourself. Remember, a coin can be rusty as hell, but it is still a currency. You learn from your mistakes, and that's all you can do. Move on with your life.

    And for your financial issues, most people go through that at one point or another. Set yourself a goal, and take your time to get there.

    Hope this helps.
    I know that this is a good, hard lesson, but I just want to be able to get through it without this immense pain. If my life was otherwise fine I think I would be able to move on with this much easier but so many things are going wrong and sometimes it feels like I have nothing left . Every day is a struggle to get through, which is why it's hard not to turn some of the pain and anxiety I have been feeling into anger. I just have to drag myself through it, I guess. And perhaps I needed to rant.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alfed)
    Well how long ago did this happen to you? Who else do you have in your life? How exactly did he use you? I know exactly how you feel, I have been through something similar, I can talk in more detail if you can PM me.
    I think I might have messaged you before. He was going through a rough time and I hated seeing him like that and wanted to do whatever I could to make things easier on him. I guess he took advantage of that, then once he started to feel better I didn't matter anymore. He insisted that this wasn't the case but I could tell from his actions :sad:
    • Very Important Poster
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    Very Important Poster
    Learn from it then get busy dealing with the now and the future. You are letting the past hold you back. You learnt some people lie.
    How long a relationship are you talking about? Anger will just eat you up.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yesterday was his birthday, which reminded me how angry and bitter I am at the way he treated me, and how bitter and angry I am at myself for wasting so much time loving him.

    He lied about having feelings for me and feeling the same way that I do. Even when I ended things he was still lying about that. I know he was lying because actions speak louder than words and he treated me with indifference when he was done using me. He used me for comfort after another girl hurt him, hurting me deeply every day by telling me in great detail about his love for her, even though considering our relationship he should have known how that made me feel (probably knew but didn't care, I'm done making excuses for him).

    I just want to know how to overcome this hatred and anger that I have been feeling towards him recently. My life has really gone downhill and I have fallen into depression, mainly because of frustrating financial problems. The only thing bringing me any comfort is blaming and directing my anger towards him. I know that it isn't healthy and that he isn't worth my time and energy. What is the best way to go about changing this?
    I've been through a similar situation, but as soon as you just start to let go of what's happened things will get better I promise
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Learn from it then get busy dealing with the now and the future. You are letting the past hold you back. You learnt some people lie.
    How long a relationship are you talking about? Anger will just eat you up.
    Over two years. I spoke about the way he treated me in a previous thread before I decided to end things. I guess I am using the anger to shield myself from the pain that comes with all of the other stuff that have been going on in my life.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been through a similar situation, but as soon as you just start to let go of what's happened things will get better I promise
    hope you feel better now.
    • Very Important Poster
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Over two years. I spoke about the way he treated me in a previous thread before I decided to end things. I guess I am using the anger to shield myself from the pain that comes with all of the other stuff that have been going on in my life.
    Try and focus on actions which help you. Thats why you learn from it.

    Men lie, people lie and they let you down. You didnt spot it. Its ok to feel angry for a while becayse you are hurt by the situation, but at some point it doesnt do you any good. That's when you need to learn to let go. Doubt he cares whether you are angry, so all you do is end up wasting your own energy and making yourself mad.

    Try and introduce doing some positive things, going out with friends, doing some exercise, getting good exam grades etc. It just takes a bit of time, but it will speed up the time it taks for you to not bother about it. Your next partner isnt going to want an angry person and someone with lots of baggage.

    The importnat thing is not all people lie or let you down, just some and you need to move past those quickly.
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    I understand the pain that you're going through because I've experienced something similar in the past before. With time I assure you that it does get better, because you focus your priorities elsewhere after a time of accepting that what happened just happened. And the sooner you realise that you cannot change or alter anything now, the sooner you will come to terms with it.

    In the meantime try to focus upon yourself and your own happiness. You are worth so much and therefore deserve to treat yourself in that regard. Try to occupy yourself with things which bring you self-esteem or a feeling of power and worthiness, because you have the right to those things. Everything is in the past and cannot be changed, and people can be absolutely horrible and not deserving of your time. So don't make them worth the amount of pain that it is causing you now. Go above it and work on ways which will bring you the happiness you deserve.
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    Take some time relaxing and thinking good thoughts , eventually do something that you enjoy that makes you feel better. I know it's hard doing things you enjoy when you are depressed but slowly you can get back to a good level of mental health which will give you a better outlook on life.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know that this is a good, hard lesson, but I just want to be able to get through it without this immense pain. If my life was otherwise fine I think I would be able to move on with this much easier but so many things are going wrong and sometimes it feels like I have nothing left . Every day is a struggle to get through, which is why it's hard not to turn some of the pain and anxiety I have been feeling into anger. I just have to drag myself through it, I guess. And perhaps I needed to rant.
    Well if you want to rant, I'm always here. PM me if you want to rant, I could definitely use a chat about other people's problems for once...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Take some time relaxing and thinking good thoughts , eventually do something that you enjoy that makes you feel better. I know it's hard doing things you enjoy when you are depressed but slowly you can get back to a good level of mental health which will give you a better outlook on life.
    I really am drained right now, the anger and sadness wear me out. Will try to relax and sort out my happiness.
    • TSR Support Team
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    TSR Support Team
    You got to ask yourself, is he really worth the anger?
 
 
 
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