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    I'm trying to recall this as best I can so I write a fair perspective from both sides.

    I can do a little bit of website design, as in I can use WYSIWYG editors and I can write a little bit of HTML. I live away from my parents, I have a full time job, I'm moving in a few weeks for work and I'm doing a large charity project.

    My mum wanted to start a little quilting/patchwork/sewing business a year or more ago and I built a basic website for her and asked her to write the content and get pictures. She hasn't really done that. The domain and hosting were up for renewal a few days ago and so I've just phoned her to ask her what she wants as no development of the website has really happened.

    I said she could either renew the whole lot for £35 or just keep the domain for £7 so that is kept safe and she can save some money until the website is ready.

    She asked me when I'm going to finish it, put the shopping cart into it and help her set up the business.

    I'll be honest I don't really want to, I have limited spare time and don't want to spend it sitting in front of a computer making a website and reading on how to do things with HTML. Secondly I don't have the technically ability to do so, or the business knowledge to help create a company.

    I said this (not the not wanting to part) to her when she asked, and she got upset. I asked why her niece's couldn't (who are both professional web designers) and she said if my own son won't help me, I can't really ask them and I felt this a little harsh. She then called me selfish for not helping with her business, I said that I would help, but not at the very minute and that I don't the skills that are required. The conversation ended shortly after that.

    I feel that it is not my job to help her with her business, but more a favour, I'm not a website designer or a business person - will help but not if she is going to be rude.

    I was wondering how to best deal with this situation if it arises again.
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    It's a tricky one...
    She's your mum so initial instinct is to do what you can for her bc that's all she's done for you during your childhood and I guess she'd like the same back, however she needs to appreciate that if your time is limited and you're not as skilled as other people maybe then she can't expect you to drop everything to help her.
    If it's not been done for over a year is the business something that's really important to her or is it just something she's getting at you for since you dropped the reminder?
    If she is still serious about the business, maybe you could get in touch with your cousins and see if they can help, seeing as the job sounds more up their avenue? Don't drop your projects to make her happy but don't disregard her if she's serious about this and you know more about it than she does
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    People have different values. Some believe that family comes first and you should put your mum's needs or wishes first at least some of the time. Others would say that you are independent of your parents now and you should do what you believe to be right without being guilt-tripped by her.

    You decide what you think is fair and stick by it.

    Perhaps there is some middle ground- you could offer a period of time to help her find a more suitable person to do what's required.

    You can still treat her with respect even if you decide not to do what she has asked, or expected.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    I'm trying to recall this as best I can so I write a fair perspective from both sides.

    I can do a little bit of website design, as in I can use WYSIWYG editors and I can write a little bit of HTML. I live away from my parents, I have a full time job, I'm moving in a few weeks for work and I'm doing a large charity project.

    My mum wanted to start a little quilting/patchwork/sewing business a year or more ago and I built a basic website for her and asked her to write the content and get pictures. She hasn't really done that. The domain and hosting were up for renewal a few days ago and so I've just phoned her to ask her what she wants as no development of the website has really happened.

    I said she could either renew the whole lot for £35 or just keep the domain for £7 so that is kept safe and she can save some money until the website is ready.

    She asked me when I'm going to finish it, put the shopping cart into it and help her set up the business.

    I'll be honest I don't really want to, I have limited spare time and don't want to spend it sitting in front of a computer making a website and reading on how to do things with HTML. Secondly I don't have the technically ability to do so, or the business knowledge to help create a company.

    I said this (not the not wanting to part) to her when she asked, and she got upset. I asked why her niece's couldn't (who are both professional web designers) and she said if my own son won't help me, I can't really ask them and I felt this a little harsh. She then called me selfish for not helping with her business, I said that I would help, but not at the very minute and that I don't the skills that are required. The conversation ended shortly after that.

    I feel that it is not my job to help her with her business, but more a favour, I'm not a website designer or a business person - will help but not if she is going to be rude.

    I was wondering how to best deal with this situation if it arises again.
    well whose fault is that? not yours

    then tell her you've not enough time and you need to relax for a while(just like her if she relaxes loads xD)

    then again tell her you don't have the knowledge to do so. Why isn't she willing to research things if she wants to set up her business?

    wat, so she refuses to ask her cousins then calls you selfish, excuse me who's the actual selfish one here?(hint: it's your mum)
    look she refuses to ask her nieces cousins because she can't be bothered.

    tell her you're sorry you can't help her with HER business which she's NOT willing to bring up and work for, and tell her sorry you don't have enough time to work on it and sorry you don't have the required knowledge to do so.

    correct it's not and yes she can call people to help but not start it all up and run it for her, no way it's HER business SHE should do something about it
 
 
 
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