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    I havent seen my mother and father in 2 years because of issues we had- when people I meet ask me about what things are like at home I don't want to lie because it leads to more conversation about the topic which I don't want to discuss at all. But I don't want to talk about estrangement either- the questions are even more annoying-
    So recently I've decided maybe I should try " I never knew them"- don't want to talk about death at a young age because then that would lead to sympathetic talk- I don't want that **** and I'm not good at pretending that I' m sad- (nor do I want to)
    What story can I come up with to back up "I never knew them" that will kill the conversation brutally and swiftly?
    Thanks.
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    "I'd rather not talk about it" will shut most people up. If they don't shut up, they're ********s and you didn't want to talk to them anyway.
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    (Original post by BlueSam3)
    "I'd rather not talk about it" will shut most people up. If they don't shut up, they're ********s and you didn't want to talk to them anyway.
    Yeah I thought about that too- but I thought people might assume I was trying to hide something
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I thought about that too- but I thought people might assume I was trying to hide something
    Saying 'just how it is' with the shrug of the shoulders works for me - it's not suspicious, shuts down the conversation nicely, and doesn't attack those who ask.
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    who asks more questions? unless I knew someone well or they volunteered the information I would not be asking questions if someone said 'I don't have contact with my parents' as I'd assume that's a sensitive topic... I wouldn't lie as people might take a lot of offense if they find out the truth later down the line, just move the conversation on or say you don't want to discuss it
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    who asks more questions?...
    Well when people meet you, family can be a popular topic sometimes- I hear people talk about that a lot you know- my sister did this bla bla- that's how the topic arises- might lead to "what about your family..." after they've told you about theirs. I say I have no brothers and sisters that's easy- but now there's noone else to talk about except parents-
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    Hmm I think I'll say- "Oh... I never knew them- I... don't really like to talk about it..."
    Sounds good and convincing I reckon

    - the reason I wanted to do this thread was because recently there were two occasions where someone in my social circle knew about our relationship and because I never spoke about the reasons for no contact, once in an argument burst out "You left your parents for no reason". Suffice it to say the urge to murder him was extremely strong.
    On another occasion this year some **** old man who was also the landlord of the place I was lodging at (just planned for 8 weeks of uni term) had said I could move in after a trial week at the place- I didn't like him- and the place was a **** deal but it was cheap and I really couldn't afford luxuries I didnt really need, I forced myself to smile through it for the first few days and naturally people you interact with regularly want to know about you so once again the topic came up. Being the naive young man I told the truth but not any details- we got into some disagreement during the week and the sad ******** sends me long prose while I'm at lectures via email telling me why the lodging wasn't going to work. I accepted that. Then at the end of the email- the ******* adds: " I was also a bit worried and had second thoughts about this 'tenancy' when you told me about your estrangement with parents with no other relatives and no support (wtf... I said nothing about other relatives), and the fact at such a young age this issue could not be resolved- It's a shame this isn't going to work- I do like you as a person..." I didn't want to explode with rage because he owed me money for the rest of the trial week- so I waited till I got my refund- ignored further communication with the piece of ****- lol his reason for failing O Levels was because he was born towards end of August so was behind the rest of his peers- what?????
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    Sorry the last bit was irrelevant and unnecessary - it was just the anger coming out of keyboard
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm I think I'll say- "Oh... I never knew them- I... don't really like to talk about it..."
    Sounds good and convincing I reckon

    - the reason I wanted to do this thread was because recently there were two occasions where someone in my social circle knew about our relationship and because I never spoke about the reasons for no contact, once in an argument burst out "You left your parents for no reason". Suffice it to say the urge to murder him was extremely strong.
    On another occasion this year some **** old man who was also the landlord of the place I was lodging at (just planned for 8 weeks of uni term) had said I could move in after a trial week at the place- I didn't like him- and the place was a **** deal but it was cheap and I really couldn't afford luxuries I didnt really need, I forced myself to smile through it for the first few days and naturally people you interact with regularly want to know about you so once again the topic came up. Being the naive young man I told the truth but not any details- we got into some disagreement during the week and the sad ******** sends me long prose while I'm at lectures via email telling me why the lodging wasn't going to work. I accepted that. Then at the end of the email- the ******* adds: " I was also a bit worried and had second thoughts about this 'tenancy' when you told me about your estrangement with parents with no other relatives and no support (wtf... I said nothing about other relatives), and the fact at such a young age this issue could not be resolved- It's a shame this isn't going to work- I do like you as a person..." I didn't want to explode with rage because he owed me money for the rest of the trial week- so I waited till I got my refund- ignored further communication with the piece of ****- lol his reason for failing O Levels was because he was born towards end of August so was behind the rest of his peers- what?????
    They sound like utter shits :mad:

    dont tell people unless u know em well IMHO. like with the landlord. failing O levels says it all for him
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    (Original post by ibhopeful97)
    They sound like utter shits :mad:

    dont tell people unless u know em well IMHO. like with the landlord. failing O levels says it all for him
    Yup ... lesson learnt
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yup ... lesson learnt
    Its his problem lol dont let him get 2 you. Sounds like a ****ing idiot ngl.. has he not heard of abusive parents :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ibhopeful97)
    Its his problem lol dont let him get 2 you. Sounds like a ****ing idiot ngl.. has he not heard of abusive parents :rolleyes:
    When I went back to the house after my lectures were over to tell him I was moving out that very day because I didn't like the arrangement either- I asked him however why it was necessary to add that bit and the moron replied- "Oh it just seemed that you might have been someone who was stubborn and didn't like compromise"
    "Have you ever heard of physical abuse?"
    "Yes of course -(squirm) blank stare
    "Surely you've heard of sexual abuse?"
    Squirm- "Yes"
    "So why didn't you think before you put that in the email? "
    "I dunno... 15 second awkward silence... just said what I felt at the time"

    That evening the **** sends me an email with his ****ing life story telling me how was beaten by his father and how he got a job after school to escape home bla bla garbage - forgive bla bla which was clearly bulshit...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well when people meet you, family can be a popular topic sometimes- I hear people talk about that a lot you know- my sister did this bla bla- that's how the topic arises- might lead to "what about your family..." after they've told you about theirs. I say I have no brothers and sisters that's easy- but now there's noone else to talk about except parents-
    what I was saying is that if someone said to me 'I'm not in touch with my parents' that would send a clear indicator there's some sort of problem with the parents and probably a painful one to discuss so I'd move the conversation on... I think anyone who kept asking questions must be quite insensitive
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    what I was saying is that if someone said to me 'I'm not in touch with my parents' that would send a clear indicator there's some sort of problem with the parents and probably a painful one to discuss so I'd move the conversation on... I think anyone who kept asking questions must be quite insensitive
    ok sorry- I dunno why I quoted you and kept blabbing on
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    I have slightly more contact with my parents than it sounds that you have with yours, but I only see them once or twice a year, very occasional superficial phonecalls, and I don't know much about their day to day lives.

    Like you say, family / hometown often seems to topic people bring up. The way I tend to go about it, is if people ask me where I'm from, I tell them I'm from town X but actually have now lived in town Y for several years and class here as my home. If they ask simple details like siblings or parents then I answer them in brief detail and don't bring up the fact that I don't really see them, I suppose I just let people assume that there are no issues. If they push further with family questioning, then I tend to say something like "I don't really see my parents much, we're not close, but I'm really lucky to have a close group of friends who are like family for me". No-one has ever really pushed much further than that with questioning, but my next reply is usually something like "it's all a bit complicated" and that normally suffices to stop people questioning further.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I went back to the house after my lectures were over to tell him I was moving out that very day because I didn't like the arrangement either- I asked him however why it was necessary to add that bit and the moron replied- "Oh it just seemed that you might have been someone who was stubborn and didn't like compromise"
    "Have you ever heard of physical abuse?"
    "Yes of course -(squirm) blank stare
    "Surely you've heard of sexual abuse?"
    Squirm- "Yes"
    "So why didn't you think before you put that in the email? "
    "I dunno... 15 second awkward silence... just said what I felt at the time"

    That evening the **** sends me an email with his ****ing life story telling me how was beaten by his father and how he got a job after school to escape home bla bla garbage - forgive bla bla which was clearly bulshit...
    Sounds like a tiny brained loser :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ibhopeful97)
    Sounds like a tiny brained loser :rolleyes:
    Thanks for listening and giving advice- your username implies you're a 97 boy- if you have A Level exams- good luck mate
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have slightly more contact with my parents than it sounds that you have with yours, but I only see them once or twice a year, very occasional superficial phonecalls, and I don't know much about their day to day lives.

    Like you say, family / hometown often seems to topic people bring up. The way I tend to go about it, is if people ask me where I'm from, I tell them I'm from town X but actually have now lived in town Y for several years and class here as my home. If they ask simple details like siblings or parents then I answer them in brief detail and don't bring up the fact that I don't really see them, I suppose I just let people assume that there are no issues. If they push further with family questioning, then I tend to say something like "I don't really see my parents much, we're not close, but I'm really lucky to have a close group of friends who are like family for me". No-one has ever really pushed much further than that with questioning, but my next reply is usually something like "it's all a bit complicated" and that normally suffices to stop people questioning further.
    Thanks will bear those replies in mind...
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    (Original post by BlueSam3)
    "I'd rather not talk about it" will shut most people up. If they don't shut up, they're ********s and you didn't want to talk to them anyway.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I thought about that too- but I thought people might assume I was trying to hide something
    You are trying to hide it. That is allowed. Your history, your rules.
 
 
 
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