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mentally ill and (hopefully) recovering. need some advice on my job etc.

from age 12 i was very withdrawn and had no friends at school or uni, and still have no one i could just text to hang out with.

I got the dux of my high school. High straight As and went off to study maths at uni. Didn't go to exams when I was 20 and got taken to psychiatrist. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, now it's a severe and enduring mental illness and autism, they think. I'm now 24, and after an unsuccessful return to uni, and a hard job search, I've got a community job for 25 hours a week min wage doing admin and cafe work at a charity helping the mentally ill etc into work.

They're trying to make contact with other admin employers so that I can get an admin job when my community job finishes. I'm not sure if I'm on the best track.

I mean, there's the possibility that doing this job is putting me on a track to submediocrity and I'm capable of more, if only I quit and just focused on my guitar, reading and writing and tried to make something of that. I mean, it's not like I'm having adulation and a life partner thrown at me for doing my boring job. also, research indicates that people with my conditions do better living alone so there maybe shouldn't be an argument that i'd be more attractive with a job.

On the other hand, if it really is all I'm capable of, I don't particularly enjoy it and find even 25 hours tiring, so perhaps, being selfish, I should just pack it in and try to enjoy my hobbies. I get PIP full rate and would be in support group for ESA if I had less savings. But my savings aren't enough to buy a flat, so perhaps I should do these jobs until I can get a flat, then I'll have less money, I can quit working and claim ESA.

Part of the problem with not working is having to live with my parents as they are doctors and hate me not working. But I'm moving out to my own flat in under a week. but then the landlord might think it weird and cotton on to the fact i'm not working, then who knows what would happen. it's a no dss flat and i got it a day ago with my job.

I'm a bit torn about what to do.

Please don't post judgemental stuff about my thought processes, you haven't had my life or my exact illnesses and disabilities.
Original post by boomboomblabla
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Do you have many friends/social life outside of your job? You mentioned wanting to get away from your parents but it sounds like you would be almost completely isolating yourself which is a bit worrying. Hanging onto the job or doing some volunteering, even just a few hours a week, would probably be better in that case
Original post by infairverona
Do you have many friends/social life outside of your job? You mentioned wanting to get away from your parents but it sounds like you would be almost completely isolating yourself which is a bit worrying. Hanging onto the job or doing some volunteering, even just a few hours a week, would probably be better in that case


No I don't have friends or a social life outside my job. There's an autism drop in I can go to, but it's hard to make friends there. I sort of have friends there. You might be right about the job.

I feel better right now when I'm not at work, but having experienced unemployment, it's not as good as the times when I'm not at work now, if you know what I mean.
Original post by boomboomblabla
No I don't have friends or a social life outside my job. There's an autism drop in I can go to, but it's hard to make friends there. I sort of have friends there. You might be right about the job.

I feel better right now when I'm not at work, but having experienced unemployment, it's not as good as the times when I'm not at work now, if you know what I mean.


I think it would be better to keep some social interaction which you do get from a job or volunteering. Working is always tiring but if you're finding your job unfulfilling I think that's pretty normal for a basic admin/cafe job, have you tried applying for more challenging roles? It might be that you don't dislike working, but you just don't like your particular job. I always find when I'm getting bored in a job I become very tired and demotivated so if you are working in a job that doesn't maximise your potential (such as low level admin/retail) you are feeling like this. If you don't want to work in paid employment anymore I do think it would be worth finding some other way of keeping social interaction in your life. I imagine it wouldn't help your mental illnesses to be sitting at home by yourself indefinitely, at least with a job you have to leave the house for X number of hours per week. I don't know the ins and outs of ESA, are you allowed to work a little bit if you're claiming it?

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