Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I feel guilty over leaving my mother when I go to uni? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Me and my mother have never really gotten along very well and I really value my own independence and so I applied for my accommodation at uni but I'm feeling torn up with guilt. She was all hyped up and nervous while I was filling out forms and applying for funding and she outright refused to help me and my father sort out the details.

    My father lives and works in Newcastle and comes home on weekends. I personally think their marriage is in crisis as they are living separately and when they are both home it's pandemonium. They always fight and it's complete chaos as they can't seem to function together. Originally they weren't going to let me live away from home but I eventually convinced them to let me go into halls for a variety of reasons. Ever since then my mum has kept saying that I can't "survive alone" and am "helpless". I'm the one alone in the house most days as she's at work and I keep the house tidy and well maintained while she's out so her claims are obviously not true at all. I feel she's making a conscious effort to keep me at home and I feel awful for leaving her alone with no one but my younger brother (who is a complete ******** by the way) and I worry she'll be the one struggling in her own. I'm worried something happens to her while I'm gone because we live in a high crime area and have been burgled three times in the past two years. I'm only going to Glasgow uni (hopefully. If I don't meet my conditions I'll be going to Stirling) which is about 30 miles or so away from home and we live right next to the train station so it's not as if I'm moving across country or would struggle to get home but I'm still so worried about leaving her. None of my friends seem to be feeling this kind of guilt so how do I get over it and maybe make her feel more comfortable about me living away?
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by TinyPhasma)
    Me and my mother have never really gotten along very well and I really value my own independence and so I applied for my accommodation at uni but I'm feeling torn up with guilt. She was all hyped up and nervous while I was filling out forms and applying for funding and she outright refused to help me and my father sort out the details.

    My father lives and works in Newcastle and comes home on weekends. I personally think their marriage is in crisis as they are living separately and when they are both home it's pandemonium. They always fight and it's complete chaos as they can't seem to function together. Originally they weren't going to let me live away from home but I eventually convinced them to let me go into halls for a variety of reasons. Ever since then my mum has kept saying that I can't "survive alone" and am "helpless". I'm the one alone in the house most days as she's at work and I keep the house tidy and well maintained while she's out so her claims are obviously not true at all. I feel she's making a conscious effort to keep me at home and I feel awful for leaving her alone with no one but my younger brother (who is a complete ******** by the way) and I worry she'll be the one struggling in her own. I'm worried something happens to her while I'm gone because we live in a high crime area and have been burgled three times in the past two years. I'm only going to Glasgow uni (hopefully. If I don't meet my conditions I'll be going to Stirling) which is about 30 miles or so away from home and we live right next to the train station so it's not as if I'm moving across country or would struggle to get home but I'm still so worried about leaving her. None of my friends seem to be feeling this kind of guilt so how do I get over it and maybe make her feel more comfortable about me living away?
    Even if you did stay at home while studying at uni it would only be prolonging the inevitable. You have to leave home at some point, and you'll still be living at home when it isn't term time, so it's not like she won't see you the whole time call her regularly at first, and then gradually decrease it as she starts to get used to you being away
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 15, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.