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    I can't hold a conversation for more than a few minutes. Whenever someone says something to me, if it's not a question, I don't know how to respond properly so I just stand/sit there and the conversation dies. But I also don't want to keep asking questions because it seems like I'm interviewing them.

    I just want to have a normal conversation but it can't get past 5 minutes before I run out of things to say/ask. This is why I don't have many friends or people don't talk to me because I'm not a good conversationalist. I'm extremely introverted too which doesn't help my cause.

    I think it might be some sort of condition that I suffer with or I'm just socially awkward...

    How can I improve myself? I have tried talking to more people but it's not getting better. People can hold conversations for ages and I'm struggling to make it past 5 minutes!
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    Ask Q's about people! Not asking people questions makes you look uninterested. Do not ask Q's that go deep in their business and personal life. For instance, don't ask people why their parents divorced and why they have one daddy or mommy. Thats a sign not to go deeper into the topic.

    If someone tells you something give a honest or argreeable response. You don't suffer from anything unless you have anxiety. Other than that you're not that good at talking to people.
    I'm also introverted and have maybe 3 friends at most. Sometimes I can connect to people in one conversation. Do not just talk to anyone. Make sure they're friendly. The people who look mean or rude, stay away.

    Practice asking causal questions about people like their favorite movie, and always sound interested. Never dig too deep. Good luck. Some people you naturally vibe with.
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    I know the feeling :moon:.

    With me it just gets weird in that I talk about work or studies or whatever thing we immediately have in common and it's like.. all I seem to talk about
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I know the feeling :moon:.
    As do I. :ashamed:
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    Same. Absolutely terrible with strangers..
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Same. Absolutely terrible with strangers..
    Even with people I know, in my case. :erm:
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    It's resulted in people thinking I'm quiet/shy when it's mostly just me not knowing what to say.
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Even with people I know, in my case. :erm:
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    It's resulted in people thinking I'm quiet/shy when it's mostly just me not knowing what to say.
    Do you get this with certain people? I have a really good friend from uni, I feel completely comfortable around her but I just can't hold a conversation, it's like we have nothing in common whatsoever. But we do :lol:
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    Exaxtly the same! Unless I'm 75% comfortable with them and see them on a regular basis the conversation has so many blanks.
    I've been out of school for a few months so due to illness so I only go in some of the time and it's awful not being able to interact with people properly.
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Even with people I know, in my case. :erm:
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    It's resulted in people thinking I'm quiet/shy when it's mostly just me not knowing what to say.
    I get that alot too. But working on it. Ask questions about the person and then they'll never shut up. You might find something in common too.
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    Do you get this with certain people? I have a really good friend from uni, I feel completely comfortable around her but I just can't hold a conversation, it's like we have nothing in common whatsoever. But we do :lol:
    Yes I do! One friend I go on the bus with almost every day, except I can never find anything to talk to her about. And when I do, the conversation dies out pretty quickly.

    I'd try to help you with that, except I honestly have no idea how this whole conversation dilemma thing works.

    And I kind of wish someone could help me with my own dilemma.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I know the feeling :moon:.
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    As do I. :ashamed:
    Me three. :sad:
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    I get that alot too. But working on it. Ask questions about the person and then they'll never shut up. You might find something in common too.
    Asking questions doesn't always work when the person I'm talking to doesn't talk a lot themselves though..

    What do I do then?
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    (Original post by SmileyVibe)
    Ask Q's about people! Not asking people questions makes you look uninterested. Do not ask Q's that go deep in their business and personal life. For instance, don't ask people why their parents divorced and why they have one daddy or mommy. Thats a sign not to go deeper into the topic.

    If someone tells you something give a honest or argreeable response. You don't suffer from anything unless you have anxiety. Other than that you're not that good at talking to people.
    I'm also introverted and have maybe 3 friends at most. Sometimes I can connect to people in one conversation. Do not just talk to anyone. Make sure they're friendly. The people who look mean or rude, stay away.

    Practice asking causal questions about people like their favorite movie, and always sound interested. Never dig too deep. Good luck. Some people you naturally vibe with.
    I would disagree with some of this, while it's good to ask questions about people, a conversation has two sides, you should reveal for everything you ask, at risk of it being an interrogation. If you don't talk about yourself you might also be thought disinterested or arrogant.

    If you avoid uncomfortable questions such as 'why did your partners get a divorce' or 'why did you breakup with your ex' it can make conversation quite shallow. Those questions usually create significant emotional bonds, you don't go around telling everyone these things, if they trust you enough to confide in you and you ask them, this is excellent conversation and you should lend an ear. At the same time be sensitive and understand if they don't want to talk about it, try not to probe if they direct the conversation elsewhere.

    As for giving honest and agreeable responses, sometimes these are not consistent, I have a good friend who once asked me if he was an idiot for dating a girl I had expressed a disliking for, I said you're damn right you are. I was right, he avoided me for a bit tbh, but after he trusted me a damn lot more. Never compromise integrity for the sake of being agreeable.

    Also, mean looking people can actually be quite nice, and nice looking people can be nasty pieces of work, avoid anyone who is into anything dangerous, but unless you get serious creep vibes don't exclude someone just because they look a bit on the defensive. Maybe their parents got divorced recently

    Finally, if questions are too casual people will get bored, you must be willing to ask deep questions, even to laugh over them, otherwise you'll get generic responses, a mask people put up to avoid looking bad in public.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Me three. :sad:
    We might as well have all of TSR conceding to this. :lol:
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    We might as well have all of TSR conceding to this. :lol:
    I only get it on certain people (like my friend above) and sometimes when i'm a bit in a strange mood, otherwise I usually carry the conversation
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Asking questions doesn't always work when the person I'm talking to doesn't talk a lot themselves though..

    What do I do then?
    Not much, they won't open up to you if they don't trust or feel comfortable with you, they might not open up to you at all, simply because they have nothing to say sometimes, or are thinking deeply about something else.

    At the risk of giving too much away an ex was almost mute when we met, she rarely spoke at all, I simply waited to the point she felt comfortable, listened carefully and didn't interrupt when she did speak, and try not to say anything that shut her down and put her on the defensive.
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    I only get it on certain people (like my friend above) and sometimes when i'm a bit in a strange mood, otherwise I usually carry the conversation
    I only wish I could even carry on a conversation like you..

    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    Not much, they won't open up to you if they don't trust or feel comfortable with you, they might not open up to you at all, simply because they have nothing to say sometimes, or are thinking deeply about something else.

    At the risk of giving too much away an ex was almost mute when we met, she rarely spoke at all, I simply waited to the point she felt comfortable, listened carefully and didn't interrupt when she did speak, and try not to say anything that shut her down and put her on the defensive.
    So if I'm hoping to have a conversation, I shouldn't approach someone who's like me?
 
 
 
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