she used to text me every day- am i just being needy? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I've been seeing a girl for a few months now. At the beginning, after our 3rd date or so, she would text me all the time even just random thoughts/what she was up to. She went on holiday for a couple of weeks and this continued.

However, more recently she very rarely texts me. I have made sure not to text her too much in place of this so as not to appear too needy. We get on great whenever we meet up, but during the days in between when we have little contact I feel insecure and feel like she isn't very interested. For example I text her a couple of hours ago and have still not had a response, but I can see she's been on facebook.

Is this an issue or am I just being needy and irrational/insecure?
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been seeing a girl for a few months now. At the beginning, after our 3rd date or so, she would text me all the time even just random thoughts/what she was up to. She went on holiday for a couple of weeks and this continued.

However, more recently she very rarely texts me. I have made sure not to text her too much in place of this so as not to appear too needy. We get on great whenever we meet up, but during the days in between when we have little contact I feel insecure and feel like she isn't very interested. For example I text her a couple of hours ago and have still not had a response, but I can see she's been on facebook.

Is this an issue or am I just being needy and irrational/insecure?
Who knows, maybe she is busy, without sounding needy you could ask her
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K2G
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Maybe, like most girls, she is using you as a boost of her ego and to make herself feel 'special'. Most girls want attention but don't want to give any.

Or

She's just playing hard to get. Just text her and ask her why she's been silent lately.
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IAmYourdog
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She probably found a new boyfriend on holiday.
Sorry bro!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Who knows, maybe she is busy, without sounding needy you could ask her
Yeah I get that we all have lives and everything and she is busy, it wasn't a text which required an urgent reply or anything. I just find it a bit annoying that I sent it 4 hours ago with no reply and yet she has been on facebook.


(Original post by K2G)
Maybe, like most girls, she is using you as a boost of her ego and to make herself feel 'special'. Most girls want attention but don't want to give any.

Or

She's just playing hard to get. Just text her and ask her why she's been silent lately.
The thing I find most odd is that she isn't distant or distracted when I'm with her in person. However I can't help but feel a bit insecure and bothered by the lack of communication when we're not together. It doesn't have to be constant like it was before but i like to hear from her occasionally and i would hope she feels the same with me. Not replying for hours while still being on facebook makes me feel like she just doesn't care.
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Clockrice
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been seeing a girl for a few months now. At the beginning, after our 3rd date or so, she would text me all the time even just random thoughts/what she was up to. She went on holiday for a couple of weeks and this continued.

However, more recently she very rarely texts me. I have made sure not to text her too much in place of this so as not to appear too needy. We get on great whenever we meet up, but during the days in between when we have little contact I feel insecure and feel like she isn't very interested. For example I text her a couple of hours ago and have still not had a response, but I can see she's been on facebook.

Is this an issue or am I just being needy and irrational/insecure?
Maybe just doesn't feel the need to reply right away, since you have been talk for a while. It happens. You could ask her next time you meet her? Also the Facebook messaging thing is a problem. When the "seen" comes up, you think why haven't they replied. When just because someone has seen your messages doesn't mean they will reply right away. They maybe have to think about the reply or have other things going on. I mostly don't reply to messages right away, but take my time.
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K2G
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I get that we all have lives and everything and she is busy, it wasn't a text which required an urgent reply or anything. I just find it a bit annoying that I sent it 4 hours ago with no reply and yet she has been on facebook.




The thing I find most odd is that she isn't distant or distracted when I'm with her in person. However I can't help but feel a bit insecure and bothered by the lack of communication when we're not together. It doesn't have to be constant like it was before but i like to hear from her occasionally and i would hope she feels the same with me. Not replying for hours while still being on facebook makes me feel like she just doesn't care.
That's exactly why I'm telling you to ask her if anything is wrong because clearly she isn't that busy to be on facebook but can't reply to you. That behavior disgusts me.
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lascelles101
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maybe she feels she has got u so does not need to text u everyday as she feels secure??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clockrice)
Maybe just doesn't feel the need to reply right away, since you have been talk for a while. It happens. You could ask her next time you meet her? Also the Facebook messaging thing is a problem. When the "seen" comes up, you think why haven't they replied. When just because someone has seen your messages doesn't mean they will reply right away. They maybe have to think about the reply or have other things going on. I mostly don't reply to messages right away, but take my time.
Someone did say to me that it's because i'm not "shiny and new anymore" which is fine if she doesn't want to text that much but at least reply to mine. I didn't think we'd been seeing each other long enough for her to not be excited by me anymore.

This is through text not facebook messenger. I can just see on my facebook sidebar thing when i'm working on my laptop that she's been active "1m" ago. She doesn't have a laptop at the moment so I know she is using it on her phone.
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Anonymous #1
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that was 10.30am this morning and i haven't had a reply, i'm kind of pissed off/upset considering she's been on facebook/spotify etc. regularly. We haven't spoken since we last saw each other on friday night/briefly saturday morning

I don't even know if I should bother texting her again. She's done this once or twice before a few weeks ago but it just makes me feel like I'm not even valued. I was waiting on her replying to ask when she wants to meet up this week.
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Helloagain1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been seeing a girl for a few months now. At the beginning, after our 3rd date or so, she would text me all the time even just random thoughts/what she was up to. She went on holiday for a couple of weeks and this continued.

However, more recently she very rarely texts me. I have made sure not to text her too much in place of this so as not to appear too needy. We get on great whenever we meet up, but during the days in between when we have little contact I feel insecure and feel like she isn't very interested. For example I text her a couple of hours ago and have still not had a response, but I can see she's been on facebook.

Is this an issue or am I just being needy and irrational/insecure?
lol ask her if she has been busy and see what she says if she says no
then boy u wasted ur time 3rd date lol did u even kiss
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Helloagain1)
lol ask her if she has been busy and see what she says if she says no
then boy u wasted ur time 3rd date lol did u even kiss
did you even read the post? we've been seeing each other for 3 months, of course we've ****ing kissed
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chikane
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(Original post by Anonymous)
that was 10.30am this morning and i haven't had a reply, i'm kind of pissed off/upset considering she's been on facebook/spotify etc. regularly. We haven't spoken since we last saw each other on friday night/briefly saturday morning

I don't even know if I should bother texting her again. She's done this once or twice before a few weeks ago but it just makes me feel like I'm not even valued. I was waiting on her replying to ask when she wants to meet up this week.
Just keep yourself busy and she will reply when she can and if she dosen't give her a day or 2 before asking her if everything is okay.

Texting everyday is too much you won't have anything left to talk about in person i feel when you dont talk to someone (you like) after a couple of days you miss them and appreciate them more.
I would give her space if i were you.
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Helloagain1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
did you even read the post? we've been seeing each other for 3 months, of course we've ****ing kissed

u got PLAYED dirty #krept and konan
peak times
she enjoyed the times
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chikane)
Just keep yourself busy and she will reply when she can and if she dosen't give her a day or 2 before asking her if everything is okay.

Texting everyday is too much you won't have anything left to talk about in person i feel when you dont talk to someone (you like) after a couple of days you miss them and appreciate them more.
I would give her space if i were you.
Thanks. I'll just leave it and see what happens i suppose. I mean my text didn't have a question or anything, but I would have thought I would get some kind of response.

I don't even want to text everyday, it's just because it's dropped so significantly from texting every day to basically not at all
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Davide_online
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been seeing a girl for a few months now. At the beginning, after our 3rd date or so, she would text me all the time even just random thoughts/what she was up to. She went on holiday for a couple of weeks and this continued.

However, more recently she very rarely texts me. I have made sure not to text her too much in place of this so as not to appear too needy. We get on great whenever we meet up, but during the days in between when we have little contact I feel insecure and feel like she isn't very interested. For example I text her a couple of hours ago and have still not had a response, but I can see she's been on facebook.

Is this an issue or am I just being needy and irrational/insecure?
What can you do to support yourself in those moments of vulnerability when you feel like texting her but are unsure?

Has this been an issue for in the past? If so, what helped you then, if anything?
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chikane
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks. I'll just leave it and see what happens i suppose. I mean my text didn't have a question or anything, but I would have thought I would get some kind of response.

I don't even want to text everyday, it's just because it's dropped so significantly from texting every day to basically not at all
She could be busy? i just feel you cant keep messaging every single day but you probably don't see her much so maybe its reasonable to keep in contact. Just wait to hear back.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Davide_online)
What can you do to support yourself in those moments of vulnerability when you feel like texting her but are unsure?

Has this been an issue for in the past? If so, what helped you then, if anything?
I just get sad because I think that things aren't working. I feel like texting but I think that it's best if I don't because I don't want to appear to needy or insecure (even though I probably am, but I don't think I come across like that in person because we always have a good time together). So I just stop myself from texting.

It's happened before with her, not with anyone else as this is the first girl I have seen for more than a few weeks. This is probably why I feel so insecure as I have never really properly liked anyone before.

Previously when it happened I caved and texted her again asking to meet up and we didn't see each other for a week which I felt was unusual (usually it is 2 or 3 times per week and she has texted me 3 days into her holiday saying she missed me). I thought she was going to end things but she didn't and we saw each other 3 times that week and it was great. Now it is back to this again though.
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DanteTheDoorKnob
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(Original post by lascelles101)
maybe she feels she has got u so does not need to text u everyday as she feels secure??
Noticed this before, people in secure relationships stop putting effort in, take their partner for granted and seek novelty. It happens, best thing to do is to keep her at a distance for a while, it might feel a bit cruel but it'll work better in the long term.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
Noticed this before, people in secure relationships stop putting effort in, take their partner for granted and seek novelty. It happens, best thing to do is to keep her at a distance for a while, it might feel a bit cruel but it'll work better in the long term.
We haven't spoken since I left on Saturday morning. I texted her yesterday with no reply. How long do I wait before I ask if everything's ok?
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