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My boyfriend never buys me presents. Good or bad?
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and an half. The problem is he hardly buys me presents.
For my birthday he got me a Westlife CD but only because I told him too. And For Christmas he brought me a Christmas card because I complained.
He says he is skint and that he doesn't know what to buy me, but he brought himself a £600 mini after saying he didn't have any money to take me to the Theatre for the next two months (These tickets only cost £10 each).
So I lied and told him that I sold my Muse tickets on ebay because I'm skint too. He said I was out of order for selling he's Muse ticket. The thing is I brought him he's ticket, it cost me £40 out of my £90 a week wages which I worked hard for.
Today he says he too skint to come and see me but yesterday he went to the pub with he's mates...
I know I shouldn't be complaining because theres more to life then spending money and gifts, but I can't take these excuses any more. He earns £14k.
Am I right to complain?
For my birthday he got me a Westlife CD but only because I told him too. And For Christmas he brought me a Christmas card because I complained.
He says he is skint and that he doesn't know what to buy me, but he brought himself a £600 mini after saying he didn't have any money to take me to the Theatre for the next two months (These tickets only cost £10 each).
So I lied and told him that I sold my Muse tickets on ebay because I'm skint too. He said I was out of order for selling he's Muse ticket. The thing is I brought him he's ticket, it cost me £40 out of my £90 a week wages which I worked hard for.
Today he says he too skint to come and see me but yesterday he went to the pub with he's mates...
I know I shouldn't be complaining because theres more to life then spending money and gifts, but I can't take these excuses any more. He earns £14k.
Am I right to complain?
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I've always thought that presents aren't essential in relationships as you shouldn't need to prove your love like that, but I don't think it's necessarily the presents that are the issue here. It seems like he's being a bit selfish and hypocritical expecting you to splash the cash on him, but not vice versa.
It'd piss me off too if he said he couldn't afford to see me but went out with his mates instead! If you both decide not to buy birthday/Christmas presents then fair enough but if there's an unfair imbalance or he just plain won't spend the money on seeing you, then he's being a bit of an arse in my opinion.
It'd piss me off too if he said he couldn't afford to see me but went out with his mates instead! If you both decide not to buy birthday/Christmas presents then fair enough but if there's an unfair imbalance or he just plain won't spend the money on seeing you, then he's being a bit of an arse in my opinion.
Yes - honestly he sounds like he's being extremely stingy.
He doesn't need to buy you loads and loads of things, of course not, but the way he is acting is beyond tight.
My husband only earns £15k and with that he supports me and our daughter - bills get paid, food gets bought etc.
It sounds like he doesn't think that you are worth spending any money on, yet he expects you to spend money on him, which is very unfair as you clearly earn way less than him.
I think you're right to be annoyed. If it were me I'd have had it out with him about this a long time ago.
He doesn't need to buy you loads and loads of things, of course not, but the way he is acting is beyond tight.
My husband only earns £15k and with that he supports me and our daughter - bills get paid, food gets bought etc.
It sounds like he doesn't think that you are worth spending any money on, yet he expects you to spend money on him, which is very unfair as you clearly earn way less than him.
I think you're right to be annoyed. If it were me I'd have had it out with him about this a long time ago.
As said before, it's not the (lack of) buying of presents that is the problem, but the fact he expects you to buy things for him, and his lying about being out of money. Surely buying the Mini can wait until he can get another £10 or so? There's two sides to every story though; I'd suggest using subtle hints, then talking about your concerns with him if that doesn't the next time he does something like that.
As you said there's more to life than money and gifts, but it's about the thought behind it and buying things for himself and being stingy about buying you something that's relatively cheap doesn't show much thought.
As you said there's more to life than money and gifts, but it's about the thought behind it and buying things for himself and being stingy about buying you something that's relatively cheap doesn't show much thought.
Agreed... that just sounds awfully stingy like. Besides with the whole gift thing, even if he couldn't afford to spend a large amount. I'm sure he'd be able to create something.
Take it up with him.
Take it up with him.
You need to stop expecting them off him. Stop getting them for him. He probably doesn't appreciate them, and would rather you didn't buy them for him.
BlackpoolCraig
You need to stop expecting them off him. Stop getting them for him. He probably doesn't appreciate them, and would rather you didn't buy them for him.
obviously he expected the Muse ticket though
yeahyeahyeahs
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and an half. The problem is he hardly buys me presents.
For my birthday he got me a Westlife CD but only because I told him too. And For Christmas he brought me a Christmas card because I complained.
He says he is skint and that he doesn't know what to buy me, but he brought himself a £600 mini after saying he didn't have any money to take me to the Theatre for the next two months (These tickets only cost £10 each).
So I lied and told him that I sold my Muse tickets on ebay because I'm skint too. He said I was out of order for selling he's Muse ticket. The thing is I brought him he's ticket, it cost me £40 out of my £90 a week wages which I worked hard for.
Today he says he too skint to come and see me but yesterday he went to the pub with he's mates...
I know I shouldn't be complaining because theres more to life then spending money and gifts, but I can't take these excuses any more. He earns £14k.
Am I right to complain?
For my birthday he got me a Westlife CD but only because I told him too. And For Christmas he brought me a Christmas card because I complained.
He says he is skint and that he doesn't know what to buy me, but he brought himself a £600 mini after saying he didn't have any money to take me to the Theatre for the next two months (These tickets only cost £10 each).
So I lied and told him that I sold my Muse tickets on ebay because I'm skint too. He said I was out of order for selling he's Muse ticket. The thing is I brought him he's ticket, it cost me £40 out of my £90 a week wages which I worked hard for.
Today he says he too skint to come and see me but yesterday he went to the pub with he's mates...
I know I shouldn't be complaining because theres more to life then spending money and gifts, but I can't take these excuses any more. He earns £14k.
Am I right to complain?
It seems to me that the issue here isn't the fact that he never buys you presents, but more the fact that he doesn't seem to make you a top priority in his life, or to appreciate you and all the things you do for him.
When it comes to Christmas and your birthday, he should really buy you a nice present, without having to be asked to. I know gifts aren't the be-all and end-all of a relationship, but it's not very nice to see other guys buying their girlfriends really sweet, well thought-out presents when your boyfriend grumbles about even getting you a card.
He seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it. He finds the money to spend on the things he wants, like his car and going out, but when it comes to doing nice things for/with you, he doesn't want to spend the money. I don't see how he can justifiably complain about you selling the Muse ticket which you paid for, when you're a poor student who doesn't earn much, and he's on a salary and still isn't prepared to spend money on you.
This isn't about presents, but more about the deeper things this signifies about your relationship. From what you've said here, I'd be surprised if this relationship lasts in the long term. You're far too young to be 'settling' for anything, and if your boyfriend doesn't make you happy, you'd be better off ending the relationship and being single. If you spent some time being a bit selfish and living purely for yourself and family and friends, you'd soon realise (if you don't already) that you don't need a boyfriend to complete you, and therefore if he's not good enough for you, you don't have to put up with it. Once you can be happy being single, you can make sure that you only date men who deserve you!
If you like him that much, I suggest you talk to him about how this makes you feel. It's possible he's an insensitive oaf who doesn't realise that these things are important to you, and that if you spell it out to him, he'll feel bad and change his ways. If he doesn't care, well then you know where you stand.
PinkMobilePhone
obviously he expected the Muse ticket though
crap, i didn't notice that.
OK, I think the OP needs to have a word with her boyfriend!
I wouldn't worry OP, my bf didn't buy me a birthday present or card this year.... Needless to say i was more than annoyed. He doesn't buy me presents either, i mean like little random ones. I used to get him stuff but i've stopped because in the end i'm just spending a load of money i could use to buy stuff for myself. At the end of the day presents are not the be all and end all, but things he could buy you which mean something can be very nice.
I don't think it's the presents you're bothered about, but the fact that he's acting very selfishly and he's constantly lying to you to get out of spending money on you, because he'd rather spend it on himself. It's not the present you're actually after. I'm sure if he took you out to the cinema and bought you a popcorn, you'd probably be over the moon. It's the fact that he regards treating himself as more important than treating you, and he's unwilling to spend even a penny on you.
Talk to him, and if this persists, I'd start questioning how much you mean to him, and if you mean so little to him, I'd break up with him. I mean, I'm sure some people would be fine with the way your bf is atm, but you're not fine with it and that's what matters. Different girls like to be treated in different ways, and if he fails to treat you the way you want/need, then he's not suitable for you whether he's right or wrong, so break up with him.
Talk to him, and if this persists, I'd start questioning how much you mean to him, and if you mean so little to him, I'd break up with him. I mean, I'm sure some people would be fine with the way your bf is atm, but you're not fine with it and that's what matters. Different girls like to be treated in different ways, and if he fails to treat you the way you want/need, then he's not suitable for you whether he's right or wrong, so break up with him.
Trigger
just stop paying for everything and tell him to stop being so damn selfish
blunt, honest, to the point and completely true
anjurdsg-you're avitar is a little wrong! you're bf needs to explain himself, he is obv. not broke (mini, pub etc) I'd be more worried about excuses not to go and se you though not the present thing. Speak to him, just tell him you dont think you're seeing enough of him or something
I don't agree with any idea that people should buy their partner presents, but its damn nice if they do.
No pressie at xmas? Not even a lump of coal? Wow, that is stingy!
Seems like you keep give give giving and getting nowt in return. Sure, you should not expect stuff, but I mean- it's out of order. People need some degree of equality in their relationships.
Speak to him.
No pressie at xmas? Not even a lump of coal? Wow, that is stingy!
Seems like you keep give give giving and getting nowt in return. Sure, you should not expect stuff, but I mean- it's out of order. People need some degree of equality in their relationships.
Speak to him.
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