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    Im 17 and i hardly go out. I got bullied really bad at school so i left with no friends and didnt make any at college. Theres a few people i can talk to , but not many. I have really bad anxiety but over the last year ive managed to cope with it enough , but the last few months its really been getting to me that i have had nobody to talk to . Nobody wants to go out with me and stuff. I dont get why i dont have any friends. Im going to uni this year and im worried that i wont make friends there either , or that i wont be able to relate to any of the people at uni because ive heard its all just drinking and sleeping around and that really isnt my thing... has anybody got any advice on how to make friends or feel less lonely...
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    That's life
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    (Original post by daisyfx)
    Im 17 and i hardly go out. I got bullied really bad at school so i left with no friends and didnt make any at college. Theres a few people i can talk to , but not many. I have really bad anxiety but over the last year ive managed to cope with it enough , but the last few months its really been getting to me that i have had nobody to talk to . Nobody wants to go out with me and stuff. I dont get why i dont have any friends. Im going to uni this year and im worried that i wont make friends there either , or that i wont be able to relate to any of the people at uni because ive heard its all just drinking and sleeping around and that really isnt my thing... has anybody got any advice on how to make friends or feel less lonely...
    FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT - when you get to uni, try forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. Speak to people. If they brush you off, don't take it personally - they're probably having a bad day. Imagine someone really outgoing and confident who's in your school right now, and try to act as if you're them. Maybe you'll even become naturally more outgoing because you adapt to this behaviour!

    JOIN CLUBS - you'll meet people with the same interests as you. There's your ice breaker!

    Good luck
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    aww :console: pretty much everyone has gone through this situation... :yep:
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    Just active try and make an effort to join different societies, make friends with fellow halls mates, make friends with people on your course. University is a fresh start if you will; you've not missed out yet - university is probably the best few years of young adult life experience so make the most out of it
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    i believe uni is where you can easily find people who you can relate to. my friend keeps on going on about how i need to start drinking and going to clubs if im going to fit in at uni...plz im not harming myself for those losers, im going to find people with my own interests in societies like dance or something. dont give in to the crowd or you'll find it tiring to keep up being fake. keep looking, if all fails go on the internet and talk to people. i've been doing that for the past few years and it has filled in the boredom.
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    (Original post by GlassyMarbles)
    FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT - when you get to uni, try forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. Speak to people. If they brush you off, don't take it personally - they're probably having a bad day. Imagine someone really outgoing and confident who's in your school right now, and try to act as if you're them. Maybe you'll even become naturally more outgoing because you adapt to this behaviour!

    JOIN CLUBS - you'll meet people with the same interests as you. There's your ice breaker!

    Good luck
    What a waste of one's energy to make pointless , hopeless friendships that will fizzle out as soon as you finish education.
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    OP - I am very sorry for your experience. I don't have advice for your current situation other than to say it is almost over!!! Uni is the opportunity for a totally fresh start! I hope you're going someplace far away from your college so there will be all fresh faces. So, yes it is a fresh start, but it will require a significant amount effort on your part, don't underestimate that part. Make sure that that you, if at all possible, live in the student accommodation of your uni. Get involved in you hall!!! Play sports for the hall - silly sports like dodge ball etc - you don't have to be an athlete, volunteer for hall committees etc. When you are a fresher you are going to have to issue invitations (to go for coffee, pizza etc.) and keep issuing them even if you feel your not getting invitations in return - I promise they will start coming back to you eventually you just have to trust that. Invite different people you meet and have even a quick chat with to meet for coffee or whatever. As far as drinking it is definitely a way to be social at uni but if that isn't for you then during the evenings of freshers week when everyone is out at events/drinking walk around your accommodation and see who else is there - they most likely are going to be like minded people about drinking. Ask those people to hang out. "Hey since everyone is out why don't we order pizza" It might be a good idea to leave your door open during that time too so others can see you're in your room and may reach out to you. Definitely join clubs but don't just join them..... GO to them!!! Then go to the next meeting and the next and you'll start seeing familiar faces and friendships will form. It is not easy and it does take time so don't expect a best friend or a whole group of friends in the first month (or even two - just being honest) but if you are persistent it will work out. I agree with the FAKE it till you MAKE it - it actually works. Act confident, smile, be happy (even if you're quaking on the insides) because that is what people will see and think you are and who doesn't want to be friends with confident, smiling, happy people? With effort on your part uni is going to be a much, much better experience for you. Best of Luck!
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    What a waste of one's energy to make pointless, hopeless friendships that will fizzle out as soon as you finish education.
    The OP is clearly struggling to talk to people in the first place; the tips I gave them have worked for both myself and many of my friends. I understand why they might seem pointless and hollow, but the point is that this is the first step. As I have said before, the OP is really scared (anxiety) of approaching others, as I used to be. Once someone makes friends with the first step, they will naturally find themselves becoming more outgoing due to their increased social interaction, and if they find their new relationships hopeless can always use their new social skills to find friends which they would enjoy the company more of.

    P.S. I used to be like the OP but to a lesser extent, and the advice I gave them worked for me; I'm still friends with people who I initially "fake[d]" my confidence with.
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    (Original post by daisyfx)
    Im 17 and i hardly go out. I got bullied really bad at school so i left with no friends and didnt make any at college. Theres a few people i can talk to , but not many. I have really bad anxiety but over the last year ive managed to cope with it enough , but the last few months its really been getting to me that i have had nobody to talk to . Nobody wants to go out with me and stuff. I dont get why i dont have any friends. Im going to uni this year and im worried that i wont make friends there either , or that i wont be able to relate to any of the people at uni because ive heard its all just drinking and sleeping around and that really isnt my thing... has anybody got any advice on how to make friends or feel less lonely...
    Aw I had exactly the same problem as you, I was bullied at school and never really met anyone who was like me shared the same interests etc and constantly felt lonely, isolated and thiking why haven't I got any friends? Luckily it changed at sixth form because I didn't know anyone and I could be a completely new person. But i was basically still the same person i was lucky enough to find friends jsut like me. I literally used to not get invited to any parties at school and I hated it. But now I am lucky I have good friends but I really do understand what you're going through, its horrible and it makes you feel so low. I joined clubs and tried to put myself out my comfort zone, although it was hard I am so glad I did it because I met some great people! For instance my interests are music, volunteering, charity work, reading, writing etc so I was lucky at college there were lots of clubs like this. Also smile and try to start conversations with people even if you don't really want to, it makes you seem more approachable and friendly etc. Uni is not all drinking and drugs etc. don't worry about it you will have a great time. I didn't get a boyfriend until I was 17 and I literally the whole way through school nobody ever payed attention to me and I thought I would never find anyone but I did, he is just like me with same interests and he is so kind. It does get better just plough on through and uni is a whole new start!! xx
 
 
 
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