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    I actually posted this in another forum, and somebody recommended that I post it here as well, so this is somewhat of a repost.

    Basically, my flatmate for next year seems to have her heart set on this flat in Crown Street (a flat that she actually made no contribution into looking for... just saying...), but I know how dangerous Union Street can be after around 8 or 9pm. Especially during Autumn/Winter months when it gets darker earlier. And it's also quite far down Crown Street, so walking from the university, across most of Union Street, and then also down most of Crown Street in the dark doesn't sound very safe to me...

    I am involved in a few societies and also some volunteer work. My volunteer work ends at 9pm every Friday (or at the very least most Fridays). And two of my societies end rather late at night as well. Archery tends to go on until 9pm, and my other society is actually split over two days every week. So that's four days per week that I would have to go home late at night. And that's not including going out with friends, or birthdays, or Halloween/Christmas events, etc...

    My flatmate also doesn't seem to really leave her flat much. She's in RGU, and I know that there aren't as many societies over there, but she didn't join a single society this year. So she basically just didn't leave her room, judging by what she has told me over the course of this year. So she won't have to come back home after dark, so this is not a direct issue for her. So she wants to go ahead and make an offer for this flat that we're going to view later this week.

    I want to continue looking for other flats. Preferably in Rosemount, or areas similar to Rosemount. Wherever we end up living, it has to be around the city centre, because I go to the University of Aberdeen, and she goes to RGU, which are basically on opposite ends of the city. Which is not very convenient for either of us. But it's too late to ditch her now, because she won't have anyone else to live with if I do that. And I probably won't be able to find a new flatmate either. And that would also make things awkward within our friendship group, so I'm not going to do that.

    But you get the point. This is a huge issue for me, but not for her, so she wants to go ahead with this, because it's convenient for her. I have told her about my anxiety surrounding this, but she more or less just brushed it off. As if I wouldn't get attacked or worse if I walked down Union Street and then down Crown Street completely alone at nighttime.

    What should I do? She doesn't seem to be listening to me... I also told her best friend (who I am also pretty close to) about this, and she kind of ignored it as well.

    I don't want to be attacked. And that will most likely happen if we live there, and if I have to walk back in the dark, which I will have to do at least a few times every week.
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    (Original post by Converse&Roses)
    I actually posted this in another forum, and somebody recommended that I post it here as well, so this is somewhat of a repost.

    Basically, my flatmate for next year seems to have her heart set on this flat in Crown Street (a flat that she actually made no contribution into looking for... just saying...), but I know how dangerous Union Street can be after around 8 or 9pm. Especially during Autumn/Winter months when it gets darker earlier. And it's also quite far down Crown Street, so walking from the university, across most of Union Street, and then also down most of Crown Street in the dark doesn't sound very safe to me...

    I am involved in a few societies and also some volunteer work. My volunteer work ends at 9pm every Friday (or at the very least most Fridays). And two of my societies end rather late at night as well. Archery tends to go on until 9pm, and my other society is actually split over two days every week. So that's four days per week that I would have to go home late at night. And that's not including going out with friends, or birthdays, or Halloween/Christmas events, etc...

    My flatmate also doesn't seem to really leave her flat much. She's in RGU, and I know that there aren't as many societies over there, but she didn't join a single society this year. So she basically just didn't leave her room, judging by what she has told me over the course of this year. So she won't have to come back home after dark, so this is not a direct issue for her. So she wants to go ahead and make an offer for this flat that we're going to view later this week.

    I want to continue looking for other flats. Preferably in Rosemount, or areas similar to Rosemount. Wherever we end up living, it has to be around the city centre, because I go to the University of Aberdeen, and she goes to RGU, which are basically on opposite ends of the city. Which is not very convenient for either of us. But it's too late to ditch her now, because she won't have anyone else to live with if I do that. And I probably won't be able to find a new flatmate either. And that would also make things awkward within our friendship group, so I'm not going to do that.

    But you get the point. This is a huge issue for me, but not for her, so she wants to go ahead with this, because it's convenient for her. I have told her about my anxiety surrounding this, but she more or less just brushed it off. As if I wouldn't get attacked or worse if I walked down Union Street and then down Crown Street completely alone at nighttime.

    What should I do? She doesn't seem to be listening to me... I also told her best friend (who I am also pretty close to) about this, and she kind of ignored it as well.

    I don't want to be attacked. And that will most likely happen if we live there, and if I have to walk back in the dark, which I will have to do at least a few times every week.
    Too be honest I would for what is good for yourself , which is exactly what she did!!!!!


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    To be honest with you I would do what is good for yourself, which is exactly what she did . Thats unbeilevle she doesn't really care about you abd your safety ,it sounds like shes one of them ones that are just using you!!!


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    Perhaps if she doesn't start listening to you, you should just flat out say that you will not live in certain areas. I know it can be a delicate process when finding a place with someone, since you have to make agreements and sacrifices together, but there are some things that you should have the right to just say "no" to. Just veto it. Esp. if you know that it's going to be causing you a lot of anxiety in the future. I suppose all you can do is try to keep explaining to her why you don't want to live in certain areas, but if she doesn't seem to understand/care, then just say no I wont live there.

    I realise this is easier said than done sometimes...but hopefully you can think of your future self and do what's best for her
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    I didn't log in here for a few days, so I didn't see your replies, sorry. But it's all been sorted out now

    Basically, we didn't get that flat nearer Union Street, because the viewing got cancelled (I didn't cancel it, some other people just agreed to sign the lease before my flatmate could). So, we continued to look around at other flats. She left to go home a few days before I did, and after she had gone home, I found a flat in a better area, so I told her about it and booked a viewing. We agreed to the lease, and we are now moving into that flat instead So, in short, I just took control because she wasn't in Aberdeen anymore.
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    I'm intrigued as to why on earth you think Union St is unsafe? Aberdeen is one of the safest university cities in the UK.
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    The Ferryhill end of Crown St is as fine as anywhere else in the centre, I thocht this was going to be about living in Tilly, which I did nae bother, but then, I'm fae Mastrick...
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    Crown st is a very safe area. I am suprised you think you would be attacked there.
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    Mayve if she doesnt listen to your concerns then you might need to consider how life would be like actually living with her. This sounds like my friend who moved under similar circumstances and had to move out after a few months because of bullying from her new flatmates.
    Id straight out say no, its just as much your business and say as much as hers.
    Failing that, union street isnt TOO bad at night, you get the occasional drunk everywhere you, id say the dangerous times would be the early hours of the morning more than anything and even then drunks and extreme druggies tend to ignore you.
    (A hint for walking anywhere at night and ypu feel uncomfortable, just pretend to be on your phone, its an immediate call for help and a huge deterent)
    Also i did archery, its good we used to have to walk most of the way down kingstreet and on a sunday night there really isnt much about.
    Also pubs close at 11 on weekdays (thats when the hardcore lot come out) and 1 on saturday and 12 on sunday.
    Sorry for the staggered answer, different things pop up at once and i speak as i think to not forget anything
    Ask yourself, do you want to live with someone who isnt reapecting your opinion on your future home? Are you going to be happy with that? Is this for her benefit or for both of you?
 
 
 
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