Really close friends

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Helenia
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#81
Report 18 years ago
#81
(Original post by p8224)
What are friends with benefits? don't all friends come with benefits??
These are special benefits. Ones you wouldn't (probably) get off your best same-sex friends...
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p8224
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#82
Report 18 years ago
#82
(Original post by Helenia)
These are special benefits. Ones you wouldn't (probably) get off your best same-sex friends...
?!?! :confused:
isn't that your boy/girlfriend...?!?
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Helenia
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#83
Report 18 years ago
#83
(Original post by p8224)
?!?! :confused:
isn't that your boy/girlfriend...?!?
No, same stuff, but without the commitment. You don't act as a couple or anything, but if either of you doesn't pull, or you just feel like some action, then the two of you get it on together. I'm not in that situation but I know people who are, and it's odd, if you ask me.
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Nylex
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#84
Report 18 years ago
#84
(Original post by Helenia)
No, same stuff, but without the commitment. You don't act as a couple or anything, but if either of you doesn't pull, or you just feel like some action, then the two of you get it on together. I'm not in that situation but I know people who are, and it's odd, if you ask me.
What the..? Strange :/.
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Helenia
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#85
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#85
(Original post by Nylex)
What the..? Strange :/.
I have friends who have "friends" like that. It is odd. But maybe for them it removes part of the edge from coming home alone for the zillionth night in a row and sleeping alone in your little single bed with only your teddy bear for company.
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John Paul Jones
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#86
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#86
who would deign to be my friend?
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Nylex
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#87
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#87
(Original post by Helenia)
I have friends who have "friends" like that. It is odd. But maybe for them it removes part of the edge from coming home alone for the zillionth night in a row and sleeping alone in your little single bed with only your teddy bear for company.
Heh and none of them mind it like that (the "benefits" and all)? Each to their own I guess, just seems kinda.. I dunno, sick in a way.
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Saf!
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#88
Report 18 years ago
#88
i use to have a friend who i could tell everything to......but now it seems like i'm, too "common" and boring for her .................i'm bad with friends.....when people have no-one to go to they come and be good friends with me and when they find more "interesting" friends they run off!
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p8224
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#89
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#89
(Original post by Helenia)
No, same stuff, but without the commitment. You don't act as a couple or anything, but if either of you doesn't pull, or you just feel like some action, then the two of you get it on together. I'm not in that situation but I know people who are, and it's odd, if you ask me.
?!?!? :confused:
it is odd indeed! never heard of it till now...
and yeah..it is a bit sick in its own way... :confused:
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Helenia
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Nylex)
Heh and none of them mind it like that (the "benefits" and all)? Each to their own I guess, just seems kinda.. I dunno, sick in a way.
It can work out, if all both parties want is just that. However, as soon as one side wants more commitment, it starts to get ugly. I have a friend who was, while not forced into stuff she didn't want to do, made to feel guilty if she didn't. And that's not good for anyone; there shouldn't be any emotional hold over the other person if all you really want is physical. Still not my thing though
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Sarky
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#91
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#91
(Original post by Helenia)
It can work out, if all both parties want is just that. However, as soon as one side wants more commitment, it starts to get ugly. I have a friend who was, while not forced into stuff she didn't want to do, made to feel guilty if she didn't. And that's not good for anyone; there shouldn't be any emotional hold over the other person if all you really want is physical. Still not my thing though
My problem would be that i would end up falling for the person :rolleyes: .
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Muse
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#92
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#92
Keep your enemies closer than your friends, it all pays off in the end :cool:
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Helenia
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#93
Report 18 years ago
#93
(Original post by Sarky)
My problem would be that i would end up falling for the person :rolleyes: .
Oh, me too! I'd hope I wouldn't get into that situation first.
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wiwarin_mir
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#94
Report Thread starter 18 years ago
#94
Well, as I have to say that I will tell polljk quite a few things as well, he is a main dude, but not the most main.
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MadNatSci
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#95
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#95
Yeah, I do. Have known him for nearly half my life, it's got to the stage where we really do know each other better than anyone else and can read one another like a book. means there's little point in my trying to hide anything from him cos he can work it out anyway :rolleyes:
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Sarky
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#96
Report 18 years ago
#96
(Original post by Helenia)
Oh, me too! I'd hope I wouldn't get into that situation first.
No i don't think i would, because i'm far too soppy and romantic. If i were to see someone casually i'd rather see them once and then never again...However i've been in a relationship for the past two years so its not something i've ever considered.
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Sam2k
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#97
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#97
(Original post by wiwarin_mir)
Do you have any really close friends who you can share almost anything with and you completely trust each other?
Yes, I do trust them but I would never want to burden anyone with all of my thoughts so I keep much to myself.
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SamTheMan
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#98
Report 18 years ago
#98
(Original post by Helenia)
It can work out, if all both parties want is just that. However, as soon as one side wants more commitment, it starts to get ugly. I have a friend who was, while not forced into stuff she didn't want to do, made to feel guilty if she didn't. And that's not good for anyone; there shouldn't be any emotional hold over the other person if all you really want is physical. Still not my thing though
You seem to have a lot of insight into the matter ;-) Sure you've never been involved in a similar situation?
In theory, it all sounds great: both parties get what they want but the trouble is, there's usually someone expecting more. Even girls who say they're looking for sex, are often looking for something else without realising/admitting it. It's definitely a situation where the guy has the upper hand as the girl often ends up wanting more than physical satisfaction.
Plus, becoming intimate with someone who doesn't care about you doesn't make sense. Sure, it can just be totally emotionless sex but intimacy is something more...which requires a bit more than just physical attraction.

I had a Canadian friend who wanted us to be friends with benefits. Clearly she realised that I wasn't prepared to be her boyfriend and used that as a technique to get her claws into me...
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Helenia
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#99
Report 18 years ago
#99
(Original post by SamTheMan)
You seem to have a lot of insight into the matter ;-) Sure you've never been involved in a similar situation?
In theory, it all sounds great: both parties get what they want but the trouble is, there's usually someone expecting more. Even girls who say they're looking for sex, are often looking for something else without realising/admitting it. It's definitely a situation where the guy has the upper hand as the girl often ends up wanting more than physical satisfaction.
Plus, becoming intimate with someone who doesn't care about you doesn't make sense. Sure, it can just be totally emotionless sex but intimacy is something more...which requires a bit more than just physical attraction.

I had a Canadian friend who wanted us to be friends with benefits. Clearly she realised that I wasn't prepared to be her boyfriend and used that as a technique to get her claws into me...
No, never myself; I had a "standby" for a while, but we were actually headed relationship-wards till Lady Luck turned her back again

But I have friends who had very destructive relationships like this, and I was there for them through it, so I know what went on :eek:
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SamTheMan
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#100
Report 18 years ago
#100
(Original post by Helenia)
No, never myself; I had a "standby" for a while, but we were actually headed relationship-wards till Lady Luck turned her back again

But I have friends who had very destructive relationships like this, and I was there for them through it, so I know what went on :eek:
what's a standby?

and shouldn't you be in bed?
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