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Things went a little further than expected - is it rude to pretend nothing happened?

So I've been at my current job around two years and have been friends with this guy from pretty much the start - not super close friends but we often have a chat (quite a small office) and hang around on socials.

I don't know his exact age but guesstimate that he is around 10ish years older than me.

Last night it was a work social event and we both got quite drunk but me more so. He looked after me along with another colleague of mine for like two hours or so whilst I vomited and stumbled etc :/ but I was in quite a state so didn't sober up very fast.

Eventually he decided he would drop me home as I was quite far off and honestly I felt really scared how I'd manage to get home since I didn't even feel like I could walk so he reassured me he'd get me home.

My other colleague dropped us off at the station and went her way. After that I'm not even sure how we ended up being quite flirty with each other, kissing, little bit of touching etc on the journey home. I'd sobered up quite a bit by then but still some parts are a blur. We did part ways once I was near and sober enough to make my own way home.

I've never really thought of him in that way just because the thought never occured (I have a feeling he might feel that way too) and don't want it to be weird as we get on really well otherwise. Plus it's such a small office so don't really want to be the gossip.

I was just going to play it by ear but effectively just act as normal but not really bring up anything about whatever happened. Is that the thing to do? any other opinions?

Reply 1

Stk1010

Hey, if I were you I'd drop him a text before work on Monday. Just to thank him for looking after you and taking you home. Don't mention the flirting/kissing. See how he replies, and go from there.

Reply 2

Zarek

Agree with above advice. Since you seem to want to take things further be grateful for his gentlemanly assistance, flirt bashfully and he'll most probably ask you out.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I don't want to take things further, just to clarify. I like us as friends and don't want a weird vibe.

I was thinking to buy him and my other colleague some chocolates as a thank you but don't want that to be misinterpreted. But I think I will still go ahead as its a nice gesture.

Reply 4

Mayhem™

Original post by Anonymous

Do not buy him anything or he'll think you want something

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mayhem™

Do not buy him anything or he'll think you want something

I thought that but then felt as if I was overthinking it. I just wanted to do a little gesture as thanks rather than just saying thank you. Now not so sure.

Reply 6

Mayhem™

Original post by Anonymous

I thought that but then felt as if I was overthinking it. I just wanted to do a little gesture as thanks rather than just saying thank you. Now not so sure.

Okay, I strongly suggest you don't do it - if a girl I had an interest in bought me some chocolates just for looking after her at a party(or whatever it was, there was alcohol), I'd probably see that as a hint and hit her up.

Reply 7

Conkerr

I agree, don't buy anything!!

If I had a crush on a girl and if we had flirted/kissed etc, and then the girl buys me something then I'd probably ask her out. If the girl says no then I guess I'd think she is a tease and I'm not sure I could still be friends with her.

You were drunk it happens. Just don't act as if you were interested in him/don't do things that could be misinterpreted and it should be fine.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Does it change anything if I genuinely don't think he's interested in more? I think we were just both drunk enough and then got left alone so that was just it.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

The more I think about this and everything sinks in (and I remember more stuff), the more paranoid I'm being. Like how is it not gona be awkward. The big issue is though we don't work in the same team, we do definitely see each other most days due to the office layout. ><

Reply 10

insert-username

Definitely don't buy him anything geez...
Just send him and your other colleague a text with a nice thank you message, it'll come across as a little weird buying them chocolates just for taking care of your intoxicated ass at a party.

Reply 11

chikane

Just send a text to say thankyou no need for chocolates and next time don't get so drunk that you don't know where you are you someone might take advantage of you.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by chikane

Just send a text to say thankyou no need for chocolates and next time don't get so drunk that you don't know where you are you someone might take advantage of you.

I plan to stay away from drinking so much. This was really a one off which is probably why I got so drunk. Usually I drink a lot less. Lesson learnt. I don't want to feel that vulnerable again!!

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by insert-username

Ok cool I think the general consensus is not to get anything. Fair enough, I just felt it would be a nicer way of saying thank you. Just feel bad as they spent a lot of their night with me. Anyways thanks for your help :smile: