So, my boyfriend is quite physically fit himself, comes from a sporty background/family and has always done a lot of sports/exercise from a young age.
Me - I'm quite "fit" if I may say so myself.. in terms of appearance. I by no means have the body of an athlete but I'm certainly not remotely fat. I have a BMI of 20. I guess I'm "naturally slim". I'm not lazy, I do some exercise (mostly fitness classes) just nowhere near as much as him.
He's suggested doing a 5K together which I turned down. I do actually enjoy most forms of exercise/sports.. but I'm really not a runner! Today as the Great Manchester Run is being broadcasted on TV and isnt so far from us, he's suggested I should do it next year (its a 10k) not even together.. he suggested I do it.
Tell me if i'm overreacting, but all this pushiness to run is really starting to grate on me. I on average do 2-3 hours of solid exercise a week (as in properly break a sweat). Its starting to make me feel like im not fit enough for him
advice please? I've tried to tell him im not interested in running (iv never really ran, im not good at it, i dont think id even finish it tbh..)
Boyfriend often makes me feel bad for not exercising more.. Watch
- Thread Starter
- 22-05-2016 13:53
- 22-05-2016 14:00
He's wrong to force you to run. If you were a bit fat then it would be ok to encourage his/her partner. Say not to force you as it's not of interest to you. See what happens.
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- Thread Starter
- 22-05-2016 14:10
I did try to say exactly that earlier while we were watching the great manchester run.. he said hes not "forcing" me and I should stop being "touchy". I guess he's not forcing me as in literally making me do it or signing up etc. But he definitely has suggested running a few times (eg today, a few days ago when he suggested the 5k to do together one weekend, and maybe 1-2 weeks ago when we went for a walk in a nearby park on a sunny day and there were a lot of runners - he said seeing them makes him wanting to run and ofcourse suggested we do it together..)
I always just tell him that if he's interesting then he by all means should do some running.. but count me out?! It really just is not for me. I probably could force myself to do it but even if I did do that I'd rather run alone or with a girl friend, to me running is not a couples activity (I can see that it is for many others, but is it wrong that i'm simply just not interested?!)
Offline21ReputationRep:TSR Support TeamVery Important Poster
- TSR Support Team
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- 22-05-2016 14:13
It's not wrong to say you're not interested and he needs to respect your decision.
- 22-05-2016 14:16
1st world problems. Why don't you just tell him to stop pushing you. finished.
Online19Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 22-05-2016 14:18
In this case, with no health risks associated, then he should definitely accept you for who you are and your wishes. he should jog on if he's not happy with that.
IMO he wont change because he is so into fitness and he is trying to turn you into someone you dont want to be.
Talk to him about it, although it won't go in.
You cna either refuse and say he's getting annoying, then dump him when you get bored of it.
You could offer him a compromise to do it as long as he does something you like for at least an equivalent amount of time.
- 22-05-2016 14:26
It's nice that he wants to do things with you, and I am hoping that he is innocent of trying to change you. Maybe let him know that it sounds to you that he is trying to change you, and that you have no interest in running, but you would really love to do XYZ thing with him.
I've been the 'active' partner before, and had to accept that my other half had no intention whatsoever of trying to be healthier. It wasn't the dealbreaker, but it was something I had to accept if I wanted to stay with him.
- 22-05-2016 14:32
Tell him he ain't your dad
- 22-05-2016 17:58
Do you think he wants a better body when he sleeps with you or is he just trying to boss you around.
- 22-05-2016 18:00