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    So yeah we've been talking for a month and got on well. She flirts with me etc. She also messages me a lot. Now she tells me she has a boyfriend, then she says I cant believe you didnt know.

    Now she keeps on messaging me, now this winds me up, because if she's with someone there's nothing I can do. There's no point me replying, I mean what is she ends up flirting again, she's with someone.

    I dont want talk to her and say tell her I liked her as that may make things awkward and worse. The other thing is there are other guys at work and she doesnt really flirt with them.

    If I dont talk to her, I think she'll bring it up and say why, I mean if I tell her the truth, that'll be a bit harsh, I mean what do I say your unfaithful ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So yeah we've been talking for a month and got on well. She flirts with me etc. She also messages me a lot. Now she tells me she has a boyfriend, then she says I cant believe you didnt know.

    Now she keeps on messaging me, now this winds me up, because if she's with someone there's nothing I can do. There's no point me replying, I mean what is she ends up flirting again, she's with someone.

    I dont want talk to her and say tell her I liked her as that may make things awkward and worse. The other thing is there are other guys at work and she doesnt really flirt with them.

    If I dont talk to her, I think she'll bring it up and say why, I mean if I tell her the truth, that'll be a bit harsh, I mean what do I say your unfaithful ?
    She is using you.
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    (Original post by hiu)
    She is using you.
    For what ? She might say the flirting was friendly
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For what ? She might say the flirting was friendly
    Look at it this way.

    You have a crush on her so obviously you would want you and her to be together at some point. But if she's flirting with you while she has a boyfriend, then even if sometime in the future you get together with her, she'll just do the same.

    It's best just to view it as it is and hopefully the feelings will dissipate.

    Just say you're not comfortable talking to her like this while she has a boyfriend, you don't need to explain yourself further, that's a valid reason as it stands.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For what ? She might say the flirting was friendly
    Wow....I could never find out how flirting could be friendly....I mean I would never do that if I was in a relationship with another person...that is in a way being unfaithful...
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    (Original post by LostGirlOnTheRun)
    Wow....I could never find out how flirting could be friendly....I mean I would never do that if I was in a relationship with another person...that is in a way being unfaithful...
    Exactly and we've flirted a few times, it will really wind me up if she says so that was just a joke. End of the day, she seems decent and I dont think she would mess around like that. But from whats gone on, butter wouldnt melt.

    She's also shy which makes me think wtf
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    Look at it this way.

    You have a crush on her so obviously you would want you and her to be together at some point. But if she's flirting with you while she has a boyfriend, then even if sometime in the future you get together with her, she'll just do the same.

    It's best just to view it as it is and hopefully the feelings will dissipate.

    Just say you're not comfortable talking to her like this while she has a boyfriend, you don't need to explain yourself further, that's a valid reason as it stands.
    Thats what im saying, im suprised she had a boyfriend and never mentioned it, like I said she seemed a decent person. But we flirted and there were times where she could have said 'my boyfriend wont like that' but she didnt.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats what im saying, im suprised she had a boyfriend and never mentioned it, like I said she seemed a decent person. But we flirted and there were times where she could have said 'my boyfriend wont like that' but she didnt.
    Mhmm, so yeah run a mile mate. And find someone who's gunna be true to you
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    Mhmm, so yeah run a mile mate. And find someone who's gunna be true to you
    Very true. I just cant understand how it ended up like this, she doesnt flirt with other guys, for me to say she she's like that with everyone. I think she's on and off with the guy. Very weird.

    But like you said real commitment is whats needed.
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    (Original post by Axel Johann)
    Look at it this way.

    You have a crush on her so obviously you would want you and her to be together at some point. But if she's flirting with you while she has a boyfriend, then even if sometime in the future you get together with her, she'll just do the same.

    It's best just to view it as it is and hopefully the feelings will dissipate.

    Just say you're not comfortable talking to her like this while she has a boyfriend, you don't need to explain yourself further, that's a valid reason as it stands.
    What if she promises to stay commited to me ? I dont know, I mean if she's not playing it straight with one guy now, whats the guarantee with me.
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    She is a snake. No decent person would do this, don't expect her to change stripes for you, that is a mistake.
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    (Original post by George VI)
    She is a snake. No decent person would do this, don't expect her to change stripes for you, that is a mistake.
    I am just so suprised, I didnt think she would be like that. Everyone that knows her says she's decent. But yeah it is bad.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am just so suprised, I didnt think she would be like that. Everyone that knows her says she's decent. But yeah it is bad.
    She just pretends to be nice. It's what they do, 'everyone else is mean and i'm just a nice girl' you believe them at first, and then you come to understood why.

    It's like people who ***** about their flatmates, and then you live with them and realise they were the problem.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What if she promises to stay commited to me ? I dont know, I mean if she's not playing it straight with one guy now, whats the guarantee with me.
    Yeah exactly that.

    Some people just can't live with one person's attention, whoever they are. They need it from multiple sources even if they're in a relationship.
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    When you say she flirts with you - what's the worst/most 'unfaithful' thing she's said?

    Do you actually know what the situation is with her boyfriend? (If they're open/exclusive/on a break.)

    Whether she's worth bothering with will depend on the answers to those two questions. TBH if she really wants to leave her boyfriend for you and is testing the water, that's obviously not ideal, but it doesn't mean she'll never be committed to anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So yeah we've been talking for a month and got on well. She flirts with me etc. She also messages me a lot. Now she tells me she has a boyfriend, then she says I cant believe you didnt know.

    Now she keeps on messaging me, now this winds me up, because if she's with someone there's nothing I can do. There's no point me replying, I mean what is she ends up flirting again, she's with someone.

    I dont want talk to her and say tell her I liked her as that may make things awkward and worse. The other thing is there are other guys at work and she doesnt really flirt with them.

    If I dont talk to her, I think she'll bring it up and say why, I mean if I tell her the truth, that'll be a bit harsh, I mean what do I say your unfaithful ?
    It's called the truth, just ignore the advances and any weird talk and just stay as friends and pals or just cut her off completely from your life if you can
 
 
 
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