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Why do I have an overwhelming need to 'rescue' men in relationships and friendships? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Much to my own destruction?

    I find it very difficult to let go of a guy who is deeply psychologically troubled, it breaks my heart and I want to save them so bad but they always end up pushing me away but I only fall deeper and deeper for them.

    The first guy I liked had a rich father who didn't give him enough attention, cheated on his mother and started a new family. He was really into hardcore drugs I used to hang around with him a lot to try and uplift him, hoping I could save him from the drugs. I don't want to make his too long or go into detail but he hit me when drunk and high and then one day he pinned me down and raped me. Something strange happened to me and I think I lost my mind. I would cry more for him and the lack of love in his life than for myself. I know it sounds sick but deep down I wanted him to love me, possible to rid me of the guilt I felt from the situation I'm not sure.

    My first and only boyfriend (who dumped me in less than a month) grew up with an extremely abusive and cruel mother. Oddly enough I found part of the reason he was attracted to me was because I looked a bit like her. Although I was very gentle and sweet with him and he couldn't take me being 'so nice' so he cut me off. It really devastated me.

    There are many other guys I have fallen for. In recent times I've fallen madly for my alcoholic boss who I still think about a lot. I just want to save him from the pain and addictions. Also I have a male friend who is spiralling into addiction at uni because of the loss of one of his parents but he isn't interested in relationships or romance and it hurts me.

    TL;DR I know if they gave me chance I could help them... I think of these poor suffering, 'lost boys' and it kills me. I want to show them the love they never received but they turn me away. What's wrong with me?

    And how can I walk away and not feel guilt?
    • Political Ambassador
    • Welcome Squad

    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    Honestly, it sounds like you're the one that needs rescuing...

    Well, it is one thing to help, sympathise, support and love one another, but to mother and or father your partner that didn't or doesn't have a father or mother. The latter being overstepping the mark in my mind. That said, I'm sure there are some sexy psychologists about.

    You do realise that it is very unlikely you will fix these people right?
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