The Student Room Group

Never done anything with a guy...

I'm a 19 year old girl and I've never been taken out on a date, had feelings that every girl talks about when they meet someone new. I've never had butterflies in my tummy, or felt a connection with a guy in the way people talk about. To this day I haven't been asked out, I don't think a guy has ever looked at me in "that way", or at least I haven't known about it if they have. I, like others on here have said sometimes I do feel how you have described. A sense of loneliness, or thinking that there must be something wrong with me. It's only normal when us girls are made to think that certain things are "normal" by certain ages and if we haven't met "the standard" then there must be something weird, or wrong with us. But recently, I've decided not to let it bother me as much. I mean sure, if a guy looked at me like that and he made it known to me he liked me I would be so flattered. I've decided to focus on myself and the rest will fall into place by itself in time. I don't want to spend months/ years worrying about being the only girl left in her friendship group who hasn't had a first kiss! Honestly, I would rather wait for the right guy who was worth waiting for and who didn't laugh or judge me because I hadn't been with anyone before him. All I want is to find someone who is kind, funny and actually has respect for me because I knew I would meet him one day. It's not all one way though, I'm sure like girls, not all guys would of had the worry about finding someone they care about, but I bet there is a guy thinking the same thing somewhere. So you're not alone when you say you feel lonely, but do what I do and just keep working and making a good name for yourself, in time it will come. Work hard and don't worry about relationships or being "different" because people who work hard and don't go looking for things are usually the lucky ones. After our waiting we deserve someone special and when we meet them it will be amazing so just look forward to the unknown
Reply 1
Original post by miss-perfect101
I'm a 19 year old girl and I've never been taken out on a date, had feelings that every girl talks about when they meet someone new. I've never had butterflies in my tummy, or felt a connection with a guy in the way people talk about. To this day I haven't been asked out, I don't think a guy has ever looked at me in "that way", or at least I haven't known about it if they have. I, like others on here have said sometimes I do feel how you have described. A sense of loneliness, or thinking that there must be something wrong with me. It's only normal when us girls are made to think that certain things are "normal" by certain ages and if we haven't met "the standard" then there must be something weird, or wrong with us. But recently, I've decided not to let it bother me as much. I mean sure, if a guy looked at me like that and he made it known to me he liked me I would be so flattered. I've decided to focus on myself and the rest will fall into place by itself in time. I don't want to spend months/ years worrying about being the only girl left in her friendship group who hasn't had a first kiss! Honestly, I would rather wait for the right guy who was worth waiting for and who didn't laugh or judge me because I hadn't been with anyone before him. All I want is to find someone who is kind, funny and actually has respect for me because I knew I would meet him one day. It's not all one way though, I'm sure like girls, not all guys would of had the worry about finding someone they care about, but I bet there is a guy thinking the same thing somewhere. So you're not alone when you say you feel lonely, but do what I do and just keep working and making a good name for yourself, in time it will come. Work hard and don't worry about relationships or being "different" because people who work hard and don't go looking for things are usually the lucky ones. After our waiting we deserve someone special and when we meet them it will be amazing so just look forward to the unknown



Do not panic:smile:

My older brother is 22 and still a virgin!!
Good on you for having a positive mindset, focusing on yourself whilst being open to the possibility of love. You will find good things come your way soon than you realize! :smile:
This such a good way of thinking, I'm going through a similar situation but it doesn't bother me, good luck with relationships in the future, I'm sure you'll be able to get into a much more positive and healthy relationship with someone being secure and ahoy with yourself enough to get the respect you deserve from other people.
Tl;dr
Reply 5
19 is no age
Reply 6
For sure guys have these lonely feelings too. I was 22 before my first proper kiss. Things blossomed after that so don't panic at 19. Agree in part with concentrating on other important things in life, but also think you have to put effort in to finding a partner. Unless you're in the attractive set, which lets face it most are not, dates don't just land at your feet. It requires putting yourself out there, exploiting appearance, repartee, personality to raise interest. And resilience for knock backs is important too, sadly. Keep at it and the butterflies will come.
i understand how you feel, im also 19 last year i never experienced those stuff, but i dated 3 online guys and i dated one guy irl but he was mostly a shut in who stayed at home unless its to go to college. i dated some of those guys because i was so happy that someone would ask ME out and so i could try and join in my friends convosations as they are all in relationships. (plus the fact that i read too many love stories)

everytime i do get dumped i just think im too ugly and that my bodyshape is not like those girls that normally get asked out on dates (aka those pretty ones that are short and thin with long hair and wears make up). i like to think that someone special will come someday (or once i go to university this year).


so i never been on an actual date. but i have developed feelings before i guess.... anyways dont worry about it too much, someone will naturally come and you'll fall in love. there's billions of guys out there ^-^
Thank you :smile: I hope people can learn to see the good in these sort of situations where some may worry, but I am open for whatever life throws my way (I just hope it's something good... and soon haha) I don't want to wish my days away always looking forward so I'm focusing on the here and now. I hope it helps some people out there anyways, but I'm pleased to know you agree :smile:
Original post by Blondie987
This such a good way of thinking, I'm going through a similar situation but it doesn't bother me, good luck with relationships in the future, I'm sure you'll be able to get into a much more positive and healthy relationship with someone being secure and ahoy with yourself enough to get the respect you deserve from other people.


Thank you girl :smile: I'm glad to hear you're not letting it stand in your way because it shouldn't, so good on you haha. Good luck to you too, it's nice to hear from a girl in the same boat. It's so nice to read all these nice comments, best of luck to you, thanks for your kindness :smile:
Reply 10
Original post by M14B
Do not panic:smile:

My older brother is 22 and still a virgin!!


Whats wrong with him


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Reply 11
Original post by Zarek
For sure guys have these lonely feelings too. I was 22 before my first proper kiss. Things blossomed after that so don't panic at 19. Agree in part with concentrating on other important things in life, but also think you have to put effort in to finding a partner. Unless you're in the attractive set, which lets face it most are not, dates don't just land at your feet. It requires putting yourself out there, exploiting appearance, repartee, personality to raise interest. And resilience for knock backs is important too, sadly. Keep at it and the butterflies will come.


You must be clapped


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Reply 12
Original post by Maz96
Whats wrong with him


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Yeah, I know
Original post by kasumikat
i understand how you feel, im also 19 last year i never experienced those stuff, but i dated 3 online guys and i dated one guy irl but he was mostly a shut in who stayed at home unless its to go to college. i dated some of those guys because i was so happy that someone would ask ME out and so i could try and join in my friends convosations as they are all in relationships. (plus the fact that i read too many love stories)

everytime i do get dumped i just think im too ugly and that my bodyshape is not like those girls that normally get asked out on dates (aka those pretty ones that are short and thin with long hair and wears make up). i like to think that someone special will come someday (or once i go to university this year).


so i never been on an actual date. but i have developed feelings before i guess.... anyways dont worry about it too much, someone will naturally come and you'll fall in love. there's billions of guys out there ^-^


Thanks for sharing your experiences, yeah exactly there are so many people in this world, so I'm not going to go looking too hard for it because the best things come naturally on their own :smile: Hope you find someone that makes you happy, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy in the meantime haha, good on you for thinking positive. Good luck :smile:
Original post by Zarek
For sure guys have these lonely feelings too. I was 22 before my first proper kiss. Things blossomed after that so don't panic at 19. Agree in part with concentrating on other important things in life, but also think you have to put effort in to finding a partner. Unless you're in the attractive set, which lets face it most are not, dates don't just land at your feet. It requires putting yourself out there, exploiting appearance, repartee, personality to raise interest. And resilience for knock backs is important too, sadly. Keep at it and the butterflies will come.


Thanks for sharing :smile: definitely after reading the majority of the comments I think I'm doing the right thing and let good things come as they are meant to. I agree aswell about putting in the effort 100% I will if it feels right. Haha yeah I need to put myself out there a little more (by that I mean alot) but yeah I guess I could be brave. Thankyou I will wait patiently until they do :smile:
Call me, its easy to fix :hump:

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