Need help with friend

Hi

I was looking for some advice. It might seem a little pathetic but it is bothering me.

I have a friend we are both female, I have been friends with her since I was 10 we are now both 23.

She moved away from our area around 7 years ago and we didn't speak to each other regularly but recently this past year we have gotten into contact again.

Shes starting to irritate me, she constantly messages me on whatsapp asking for advice, so much that I have had to change my settings so she can't see when I was last online.

She tried to get me to join a thing called "find friends" so she can see where I am...

I recently started seeing a guy and she added the guy I was seeing on Facebook even though she doesn't even know him, was messaging him and she also added a couple of his friends......

She then started writing soppy overly emotional status's about me, saying how much of a good friend I am and uploading pictures of me and her together from years ago. The things is I am not even on Facebook myself...... So I went onto my mums Facebook as she has her as a friend on there. I noticed this girl has been like I said uploading pictures of us together, pictures I have sent her through whatsapp of myself, videos of me I had sent her through whatsapp, tagging me in "friendship quotes" (even though I don't have Facebook).

I messaged her today and said I appreciate the sentiment but I would appreciate it if you could remove all photos/videos of me from your account and stop writing soppy status's about me and how much of a good friend I am on fb. She has not messaged me back.

I know this may seem like a non issue to people reading this but it has really bothered me. I am not an overly emotional person at all and I find anything like that incredibly cringeworthy, if I also wanted my face to be plastered all over fb then I would have it myself. She's also been saving everything I have sent to her? What can I say to her? Am I over reacting? I don't understand why she is doing this

Reply 1

nerdyvsrebel

Hey,
If you are over reacting is up to you. If you don't care who the hell is posting things about you on Facebook then yes you are over reacting. However if you are a person who appreciates privacy and would prefer not to be publicized all over a social media networking site that you yourself are not actually on, then no. However what i am getting from the details is that your friend missed you so much that she is just trying to get back into your life. It seems as though she wants you to be as close as you used to and wants to fit in with you, your friends and your lifestyle so much so she is adding all your mates on Facebook. Maybe you should talk to her in private in person to try to make her understand that as much as you are grateful for all the attention you don't really want it. Instead opt for hings like hanging out and going places with her. Remember she wants to seem important in your eyes so spend time with her. If you are half way across the country from each other then maybe try to see each other in the holidays. Try doing video chats instead of texting. Tell her not to shine a spotlight on you but do give importance to her wants.
Hoped this helps
Wish you all the best
Lots of love
Veronica

Reply 2

-Katee-

Your not over reacting at all, she has been a bit careless with the multiple uploads to do with you.
Maybe she is at a point in her life where she is just really appreciative and you might have to accept that, however maybe you should take some time just to explain the situation your in because frankly I'd be a little offended if someone was doing this to me.
In all honesty it's down to you what you make of the situation, I'm not sure of your feelings towards this friend. Perhaps you could ask her to back off a little bit.
I hope you get everything sorted,
Good luck!! :smile:

X

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Reply 3

Cremated_Spatula

She's got some serious rose tinted goggles. All that nostalgic 'love' for you is probably caused by severe depression and loneliness. I think you are the focus of her obsession because she hopes that by clinging to you she has a way back into some kind of happy place. I could be completely wrong tbh, but it's a possibility.

If you want to be her friend again, invite her somewhere with your other friends (bearing in mind you will likely have to learn to accept her overly sentimental personality), if you wish get her to leave you be, simply state as much without exasperating her mental state.

Need help with friend

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