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They assume you MUST be jealous of them

Okay, so I wanted to know if there are any others who are surrounded by people who are sure that you must be jealous of them and their lives, and what your own experiences are?

I find a lot of young people are aware that their own lives are admirable, but they assume that you must be jealous of it because you're going through a rough patch in your own life.
Of course I have times when I wish my life was as easy as theirs, but I have never wanted to 'swap lives' or have their 'lifestyle'. They assume that I must be jealous of their relationships, their very active social lives, and that their lives are on a straight and even path.

Yet, I don't feel 'jealous' of them.
I almost feel that they want me to say that I'm jealous of them so they get an ego boost and a feeling of superiority, rather than actually believing that I am jealous of them.

I see my life as more of a 'challenge' that I must solve on my own accord, and I see it as pointless to wish for something that someone else has when I can go out there and achieve it myself - No matter how long and difficult it will be to achieve.
Yes, I would like to have a loving relationship some day. Yes, I would like to have a more active social life, and yes, I wish life would go the way I've always wanted it to go, but I am not jealous of the ones that other people have. I've never wanted my relationships to go the same way their relationships have, or to go out every weekend with the sole intention of getting drunk with friends, to then not remember any of the weekend itself. That would seem pointless to me.

So, I suppose I am not jealous of them, or the lives they lead. But I would most likely be jealous of a life that is 'perfect' in my eyes. Except, this 'life' would not exist unless I was living it myself, as everyone has their own ideas of success and what they truly want, so it unlikely that I could be jealous of a life that someone else is living as it would not be exactly what I wanted out of my own life. Yes, I could be somewhat envious, but not jealous.

Being a young person, I imagine more people have had a similar experience at this stage in their lives, and also, that I will face people like this far into the future. Has anyone else experienced a phase in life like this? :smile:
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Kindred
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Original post by EmEternal2
Okay, so I wanted to know if there are any others who are surrounded by people who are sure that you must be jealous of them and their lives, and what your own experiences are?

I find a lot of young people are aware that their own lives are admirable, but they assume that you must be jealous of it because you're going through a rough patch in your own life.
Of course I have times when I wish my life was as easy as theirs, but I have never wanted to 'swap lives' or have their 'lifestyle'. They assume that I must be jealous of their relationships, their very active social lives, and that their lives are on a straight and even path.

Yet, I don't feel 'jealous' of them.
I almost feel that they want me to say that I'm jealous of them so they get an ego boost and a feeling of superiority, rather than actually believing that I am jealous of them.

I see my life as more of a 'challenge' that I must solve on my own accord, and I see it as pointless to wish for something that someone else has when I can go out there and achieve it myself - No matter how long and difficult it will be to achieve.
Yes, I would like to have a loving relationship some day. Yes, I would like to have a more active social life, and yes, I wish life would go the way I've always wanted it to go, but I am not jealous of the ones that other people have. I've never wanted my relationships to go the same way their relationships have, or to go out every weekend with the sole intention of getting drunk with friends, to then not remember any of the weekend itself. That would seem pointless to me.

So, I suppose I am not jealous of them, or the lives they lead. But I would most likely be jealous of a life that is 'perfect' in my eyes. Except, this 'life' would not exist unless I was living it myself, as everyone has their own ideas of success and what they truly want, so it unlikely that I could be jealous of a life that someone else is living as it would not be exactly what I wanted out of my own life. Yes, I could be somewhat envious, but not jealous.

Being a young person, I imagine more people have had a similar experience at this stage in their lives, and also, that I will face people like this far into the future. Has anyone else experienced a phase in life like this? :smile:


I think some people, despite havnig seemingly amazing lives, can feel a little bit empty and try to make themselves feel less empty by reminding themselves of how good their life it. They might do this by comparing themselves to others. They look at somebody with a "worse" life or parts in their life and try to tell themselves they have it better. Other people should be jealous of them and they should be content with their life.
Some people are smug and think that certian aspects or privaliges make them better.
...and everything in between.

I honestly feel kinda lucky to have experienced some of the hardships I have. I think it makes me stronger, more sure of myself and also more understanding of others.
I used to try to find things that I had better than other people to convince myself I shouldn't feel how I did (I had depression) and although I don't think I was open about it, I think I probably did look down on some peoples lives a bit. In my case it was a frantic attempt to make myself feel better about my life (and let's face it some level of human ignorance- we all have it). It will be different for different people and frankly some people are just ignorant of other lifestyles and ways of life and think that there is a "better" way to live (although it often turns out to be far too sheltered and they have difficulty with any life issues).

Loads of generalisations there and most people are a mix of loads of things (so generalisations don't really fit). It's really difficult to say what motivates people to do, say or think things. Even the person themself may not understand it.
Some people just can't stand not being in the spoitlight, being the centre of attention, of being admired, being envied, etc.

*shrug* Whatever I suppose?
It's not an issue, let them have their delusions/self deceptions as long as it's not really harming anyone and it keeps their fragile egos ticking over.

Ultimately if they don't wise up quickly, everyone else has the last laugh as it dawns on them that despite their best efforts, nobody buys their nonsense, and are having much more fulfilled lives. They'll spend the remainder of their years desperate to grab what they've been faking, and what everyone else has that they can't seem to acquire, which is a general self assurance and satisfaction in themselves without an overbearing need for other people's re-enforcement. Psychological independence.

Sucks for them but not your problem.
You fit your star sign-that's very Scorpio. I'm Scorpio rising so I know too.

Oh, and more broadly though, I think what you are describing is to do with the lack of irony and spread of narcissism that the culture has inculcated.
(edited 7 years ago)
cocksuckr
hey natan
my mums jealous of my relationship with my dog called daddy! what do I do?
i would **** them both
I love that French dog cock tastes like a pure coissant

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