I've ended up with no friends at the end of first year and I don't know what to do Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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At the beginning of University everyone kind of huddled together to find their safety net and people tended to flock with their flatmates and that was that. I belonged to a really anti social flat, 4/5 of my flatmates don't ever go out and didnt even go out for freshers, as a result they literally have no friends apart from each other and we just don't really get along..

I made friends early on with a cool guy and we went on most nights out together and were pretty inseperable. Gradually he began to fall into the stoner group, I smoked every now and then but I didn't like what it did to me so cut it out, eventually this meant i'd avoid going over just because I didn't like the lethargy it brought about in me. But i'd still see him every other day.

I made friends with a girl who lived downstairs, we'd hang out and facetime and stuff and I eventually introduced the two. He's a very very good looking guy and even though she had a boyfriend she was obsessed with him and eventually I got pushed out of the picture.

It didnt help that I barely turned up to uni because I used to go out so much, I became the kid everyone tells they havent seen for ages etc

As a result its the end of the year and im left with no friends, the guy who I thought was my best friend regularly hangs out with the really controlling obsessed girl and her friends who I introduced him to who i cant stand and when he isn't he's with the stoner group who i also cant stand.

You might wonder why I basically had one good friend, well it was mostly because I don't click with many people and I did with him so I put most of my eggs in that basket.

I tried joining a society three quarters of the way through and it was really frat-like and cliquey and there wasn't much space for me as I was a nobody and didn't understand all the inside jokes and group dynamics.

I'm even moving into a flat next year with 5 additional random people because I have no one to live with and i'm terribly depressed, I don't know what I can do.
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Kaiju
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#2
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make new friends next year (duh)

i recommend preying on freshers - they're the ones most open to meeting new people, plus you can use your year of knowing the area to make yourself seem more confident than you actually are.
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jammy4041
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(Original post by Anonymous)
At the beginning of University everyone kind of huddled together to find their safety net and people tended to flock with their flatmates and that was that. I belonged to a really anti social flat, 4/5 of my flatmates don't ever go out and didnt even go out for freshers, as a result they literally have no friends apart from each other and we just don't really get along..

I made friends early on with a cool guy and we went on most nights out together and were pretty inseperable. Gradually he began to fall into the stoner group, I smoked every now and then but I didn't like what it did to me so cut it out, eventually this meant i'd avoid going over just because I didn't like the lethargy it brought about in me. But i'd still see him every other day.

I made friends with a girl who lived downstairs, we'd hang out and facetime and stuff and I eventually introduced the two. He's a very very good looking guy and even though she had a boyfriend she was obsessed with him and eventually I got pushed out of the picture.

It didnt help that I barely turned up to uni because I used to go out so much, I became the kid everyone tells they havent seen for ages etc

As a result its the end of the year and im left with no friends, the guy who I thought was my best friend regularly hangs out with the really controlling obsessed girl and her friends who I introduced him to who i cant stand and when he isn't he's with the stoner group who i also cant stand.

You might wonder why I basically had one good friend, well it was mostly because I don't click with many people and I did with him so I put most of my eggs in that basket.

I tried joining a society three quarters of the way through and it was really frat-like and cliquey and there wasn't much space for me as I was a nobody and didn't understand all the inside jokes and group dynamics.

I'm even moving into a flat next year with 5 additional random people because I have no one to live with and i'm terribly depressed, I don't know what I can do.
Turn up to university. Try your best to make friends with your coursemates. If it's doing sociable all-nighters, all-day library sessions etc, at least you'll make some friends by studying/suffering together. Sometimes, coursemates will have their own group chats, so you can be out of the social loop without that.

A second year in the society should help things, but you have to be active in it.

With your new housemates, sure it may be daunting sharing a house with a bunch of random people, but embrace it.You'll have to live together -- even closer than sharing a hall of residence -- so you might as well be sociable about it.
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username1726117
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#4
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Drop those current "friends" you have for starters; they ain't friends.

Join societies, volunteer, get a job, attend lectures, just do anything that puts you in contact with people. Also, make sure you go to the next lot of fresher events!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jammy4041)
Turn up to university. Try your best to make friends with your coursemates. If it's doing sociable all-nighters, all-day library sessions etc, at least you'll make some friends by studying/suffering together. Sometimes, coursemates will have their own group chats, so you can be out of the social loop without that.

A second year in the society should help things, but you have to be active in it.

With your new housemates, sure it may be daunting sharing a house with a bunch of random people, but embrace it.You'll have to live together -- even closer than sharing a hall of residence -- so you might as well be sociable about it.
(Original post by Kaiju)
make new friends next year (duh)

i recommend preying on freshers - they're the ones most open to meeting new people, plus you can use your year of knowing the area to make yourself seem more confident than you actually are.
Thanks for the replies guys.

I'm definitely going to be more proactive next year, I plan on joining societies from the get go so hopefully I'll meet people I gel with from there. I'll also definitely be turning up more and hope to make more friends from lectures/seminars, only problem is my lectures tend to be really quiet and intensive so it's hard to talk much but I'll have to find a way.

If there's one thing I think that puts people off making friends with me though is the way I look. Ridiculous as it seems I look significantly older than I am, i'll be turning 21 next year and get told I look as old as mid to late twenties every time I get to know someone well they mention they were kind of intimidated by me and I do get treated slightly differently by people as a result. I'm anything but intimidating and I can't help but think it slightly deters people from making friendships with me. If I just came out of college I might feel a bit out of place talking to someone who's way older than me etc

At this time of the year though, everyones already formed their groups and it's quite hard to penetrate a clique which is already solid if you get me, people aren't really looking for new friends anymore. I just hope it's not like that next year.
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velvetsky
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(Original post by Anonymous)
At the beginning of University everyone kind of huddled together to find their safety net and people tended to flock with their flatmates and that was that. I belonged to a really anti social flat, 4/5 of my flatmates don't ever go out and didnt even go out for freshers, as a result they literally have no friends apart from each other and we just don't really get along..

I made friends early on with a cool guy and we went on most nights out together and were pretty inseperable. Gradually he began to fall into the stoner group, I smoked every now and then but I didn't like what it did to me so cut it out, eventually this meant i'd avoid going over just because I didn't like the lethargy it brought about in me. But i'd still see him every other day.

I made friends with a girl who lived downstairs, we'd hang out and facetime and stuff and I eventually introduced the two. He's a very very good looking guy and even though she had a boyfriend she was obsessed with him and eventually I got pushed out of the picture.

It didnt help that I barely turned up to uni because I used to go out so much, I became the kid everyone tells they havent seen for ages etc

As a result its the end of the year and im left with no friends, the guy who I thought was my best friend regularly hangs out with the really controlling obsessed girl and her friends who I introduced him to who i cant stand and when he isn't he's with the stoner group who i also cant stand.

You might wonder why I basically had one good friend, well it was mostly because I don't click with many people and I did with him so I put most of my eggs in that basket.

I tried joining a society three quarters of the way through and it was really frat-like and cliquey and there wasn't much space for me as I was a nobody and didn't understand all the inside jokes and group dynamics.

I'm even moving into a flat next year with 5 additional random people because I have no one to live with and i'm terribly depressed, I don't know what I can do.
Not everybody meets their best friends in first semester of first year.I like you left 1st year with no real friends after I took myself off a group of girls.
You make friends throughout university, I have made some amazing friends this year (2nd year).Join societies, attend events, attend your lectures/seminars and talk to people.
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username1726117
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#7
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I'll be your friend.
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