Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

parents wont let me live out... excuses to use? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ok so i just posted this but it didn't work :/

    Im a 19 y/o female who comes from a reasonably strict asian family e.g. my parents expect me home by 11 or 12 at the VERY latest and that's with constantly asking them beforehand, no drinking or going to clubs (not a massive issue for me), I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and they're very wary of me having guy friends who i regularly talk to. Both of my sisters have lived at home when they got their degrees so my parents expect me to do the same.

    I just finished first year and lived at home for that duration which wasn't too bad but i really feel as if i've missed out on the social side as i constantly have to hide who im going out with (most of my friends are guys) and i have to be home quite early. Some of my friends live out for uni and from what i've seen, just having your own space without anyone nagging you and being so close to uni i feel would be such a help in helping me focus on myself and getting my degree.

    since i don't have a massively strong reason to move out (e.g. extremely strict parents/ living really far away from uni- i live around 45mins/1 hour away and i've already completed first year at home) i feel that my points won't be that strong when arguing with my parents about me wanting to move out. I've brought the idea up to them before but they always dismiss it and argue if my sisters lived at home then why cant i and they're worried about what other relatives will think if i moved out (it's frowned upon for asian girls to move out before they're married).
    I desperately want to move out but i need some advice
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    What religion?

    Many south Asian girls go away to uni these sdays, but the perception is they'll go out, drink, drugs, have sex. Some do but some with a good head on their shoulders are not drawn to this.

    Just ask them again or leave forcefully but you'll screw your family harmony, why is it so essential? Then again your sisters managed you could to. But overall the choice should be yours.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    To be honest, i wouldn't be bothered about what my parents thoughts if they were trying to control an adults life to that extent, i would just move out. 45 minutes is quite the commute, thats enough reason to move out.

    (Original post by microwsoft)
    Ok so i just posted this but it didn't work :/

    Im a 19 y/o female who comes from a reasonably strict asian family e.g. my parents expect me home by 11 or 12 at the VERY latest and that's with constantly asking them beforehand, no drinking or going to clubs (not a massive issue for me), I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend and they're very wary of me having guy friends who i regularly talk to. Both of my sisters have lived at home when they got their degrees so my parents expect me to do the same.

    I just finished first year and lived at home for that duration which wasn't too bad but i really feel as if i've missed out on the social side as i constantly have to hide who im going out with (most of my friends are guys) and i have to be home quite early. Some of my friends live out for uni and from what i've seen, just having your own space without anyone nagging you and being so close to uni i feel would be such a help in helping me focus on myself and getting my degree.

    since i don't have a massively strong reason to move out (e.g. extremely strict parents/ living really far away from uni- i live around 45mins/1 hour away and i've already completed first year at home) i feel that my points won't be that strong when arguing with my parents about me wanting to move out. I've brought the idea up to them before but they always dismiss it and argue if my sisters lived at home then why cant i and they're worried about what other relatives will think if i moved out (it's frowned upon for asian girls to move out before they're married).
    I desperately want to move out but i need some advice
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I'm asian too but as soon as I am old enough to leave, I am out of here. I have even told my parents that I will be getting as far away from them as possible they just laugh, they probably don't think I'm serious.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Reason with them, and be careful how you approach the situation. Make them feel like they're still in control if ygm, otherwise they'll see it as disrespect etc.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    What religion?

    Many south Asian girls go away to uni these sdays, but the perception is they'll go out, drink, drugs, have sex. Some do but some with a good head on their shoulders are not drawn to this.

    Just ask them again or leave forcefully but you'll screw your family harmony, why is it so essential? Then again your sisters managed you could to. But overall the choice should be yours.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Muslim but i dont really practice or wear a hijab etc which they're sort of fine with. That's the exact perception my parents have and my mum especially knows that i would probably go out a fair amount but i'm never one to let socials or drinking/drugs etc get in the way of my studies. I'm not that concerned about my parents not talking to me tbh but im just afraid of the confrontation, especially since i have 4months until i start second year...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    in the same situation except im not at uni yet
    • #1
    #1

    You don't NEED to move out.
    Seriously your sisters survived why can't you?
    After uni when you get older you'll have all the time you want to go out with friends.
    There are plenty of students who've commuted and had a great social life.
    Focus on your studies rn, they're more important.
    You don't realise the amount of students who've lived out and got involved in parties drinking etc. and neglected their studies.
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.