Age differences in relationships: what do people think?

Just curious to know what general opinion is on this. Obviously there's no black and white answers, but what kind of thing would people consider normal? A bit odd? Outright creepy? Does it make a difference if it is the man or the woman who is older? How much does 'acceptable' size of gap depend on actual ages of partners, if at all? Etc, etc...

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Reply 1

Logan

as long as both couples are comfortable with each other i dont really see the age gap a big problem. My uncle and aunt are ten years apart and their relationship works wonders... so yeah, its all about fitting alongside each other. In the end people dont tend to ask much about the age diference if they see both of you happy

Reply 2

Lucy :)

My friend is going out with someone who is 35 and she's only 19 I find it kinda weird but she doesn't see a problem with it really. There's an 11 year age gap between my mum and dad but I think its different when your older.

Reply 3

ForeverIsMyName

There's probably an equation that someone worked out in order to calculate it, but as far as I'm concerned, I could give a ****. So you might freak people out who don't know you, big deal. Just go with it and you'll know whether it's right or not. I went out with a girl a fair bit older than me, and I got some funny looks but it was never really a problem. If she had had a problem with our age gap it would've raised more questions about her maturity than mine, so I was pretty safe.

Life is short - Make yourself happy. Your own happiness is probably the only thing in life you have ultimate control over, so you may as well take advantage of that fact.

Reply 4

Straggler

There are numerous "equations" people have devised as a pathetic attempt to pigeonhole people into age bands.

Age CAN be just a number. But personally I think in the majority of cases, an age gap can present many problems, and most relationships are dominated by the older partner. However, I'm in danger of making sweeping generalisations here, and I'm not one to judge anyone. I believe if both partners are happy, then they shouldn't care about whether it is "acceptable" or not.

I dated a girl a few years younger than me when I was in Year 11. Most people frowned, but grew to accept it after six months. Best relationship I've ever had, years on afterwards. Since then I've dated someone older than me.

Reply 5

Beckifoxall

The age gap when you're younger is greatly frowned up on, say 2 or 3 years (maybe more ive known 13 year old girls go for 19 year old males :eek:

)

but as you get older th age gap seems to matter less, there are 3 years between me and my boyfriend (me turning 18 at the end of the month and him turnin 21 at the end of july), but honestyly it doesnt bother us (we both act like big kids :biggrin:

)

ive always gone for older guys (many lads my age especially in school, were very immature) my 1st was in the year above, 2nd 2 years above, with neither of them working out, now im with my 3rd and its great, we've been together for nearly 6 months, no arguments (touch wood), any older than 3 years age gap between me and an older bloke would be a no no!

Reply 6

o.Ob

I agree with the Beckifoxall. Age gaps matter more at younger ages due to how we're split up into different age groups: different grade levels, the distinction between elementary, junior high, and high schools, etc. However, after graduating and moving on with our lives, there are no longer these confinements imposed on us (well, not as much as they are in our teenage years) - making the age gap between a couple relatively unimportant.

Reply 7

Angelil

Personally, as long as both parties are over the age of consent, I don't see a problem.

Reply 8

Hannah_S

I don't have a problem with age gaps in relationships, but I do admit there will be problems.

My friend is with a guy ten years older (she's 18 and he's 28), I think he's a really great guy, but he has a lot more life experience ie: he's been engaged etc. And now he is ready to settle down and she wants to go out with her friends.

Reply 9

vizor

Everyone knows that the lowest you can go is:

Half your age, and add 7

Reply 10

Sausage

My friend in high school started seeing a Year 8 when he was in Year 11. That was seem as really strange and he got called rotten for it. (16 and 13 that would be)

Something along the lines of middle aged and end of teenager I would see as being wierd, or teenager and under teenage years. :s-smilie:

Reply 11

Quadro

My mate is 22 and his other half is 38. It was just a new years fling at the beginning then it got serious. Theyve been together for over a year now... living together and everything!

The only thing ive pointed out to him, is that she doesnt want kids... but he does at some point.

Reply 12

Elitist

If there was about a ~30 year age difference I might think of it as weird, bordering on creepy, but I certainly wouldn't think that it's horribly wrong. Anything under a 20 year age gap isn't horrifically uncommon really, and I don't think it would strike me as particularly odd; unlike a 30-year-old with a 60-year-old. As long as they're fine with it, I don't see why I should have a problem with it though- regardless of the age difference.

Reply 13

Becca <3.

I was frowned upon for when almost 16 and being with a 20 year old a while back. Thing is though, I didn't just pick a 20 yr old to be with, I picked a person, who happened to be 20. His age didn't make any difference, I knew him well, his family, they all knew me and my family, my Mum loved him, and we had a hell of a friendship to fall back on.

So whilst outsiders weren't impressed and used the whole "Guys that age only want one thing Becca..", I didn't let it bother me, because I knew for myself that wasn't the case, well not for this one anyway. It was great while it lasted and we were really happy.

Adding to what others have said, age really is just a number.
Happiness is the factor you gotta worry about here.
Becca <3.

Reply 14

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

My best friend is 23 and her boyfriend/partner is 60.

Now that's odd, to me, but they are both happy so I'm happy for them. Who am I to judge? Like Angelil says, as long as both parties are over the age of consent it's not wrong. Better two people with a huge age gap that are happy together, than two people of a similar age being miserable together!

I wouldn't fancy an age gap that extreme myself, but maybe I'm just picky lol - there is only 7 years between my husband and myself (I'm 23 and he is 30).

Reply 15

pumpkin7

i'm sure we've had this thread a few times before. i remember one poster said how heir friend was with someone who was 70, and she was only 19. i think that's a little extreme, and i wouldn't do it, as wouldn't most people, but as long as she's happy it doesn't matter. (and she just posted before me lol.)

Tom

Age CAN be just a number. But personally I think in the majority of cases, an age gap can present many problems, and most relationships are dominated by the older partner.

that so isn't true with me. i know i'm only young but i definately wear the pants in my relationship.. which i'm fine with, as is my boyfriend lol.

Hannah_S

My friend is with a guy ten years older (she's 18 and he's 28), I think he's a really great guy, but he has a lot more life experience ie: he's been engaged etc. And now he is ready to settle down and she wants to go out with her friends.

my boyfriend is 9 years older than me (i'm 18, he's 27) and to be fair, i am definately the more mature. i don't mind this at all. eventhough he's 27, he hasn't had that many life experiences that i haven't. he's only ever been with one other person, as i have, i've had more jobs than he has (not something to be proud of) and he just in general acts like he's about 20. he doesn't have a large circle of friends and doesn't like meeting new people so much.

i also didn't have any problems with family accepting it as my aunt married someone who was 40 when she was 19. they're now divorced, but that's not the point lol. my friends had a bit of a problem adjusting. i had a few people go 'ew ew gross. he's old!' but i just told them i was happy and after a while they accepted it.

my ex was only 2.5 years older than me, and i saw a problem with that at the start, but as you grow to love the person, the age gap doesn't matter one bit. he was very immature though.
my boyfriend now is perfect, and i'm very happy. hope to move in with him soon =)

Reply 16

Talya

Anything over the same school year group (so about 11 months) is too much :p:

This is such a pointless thread. If you are attracted to someone who is a different age you may as well still give it a go. Age should never be a deal breaker.

Reply 17

browzer-911

Dont think it matters if both are 18+, but if you have say a 15 yr old girl and 23yr old man together, that just seems wrong.

Reply 18

gracie88

I'm 19, the boyfriend is 23 (24 in two weeks) and the only time he says he notices the difference is if i'm in one of my huffs :p:

or i'm all emotional because apparently it's to do with me being younger :s-smilie:

Other than that i really don't notice our age gap.

Reply 19

Talya

Actually.. I don't think I could go out with someone of a different age because I love being immature and my bf at the moment is my age and we are totally on the same immaturity level.