Please help me! Haha.
I've been really good friends with this girl for about 4 years now. Our friendship is one of those where we could go without seeing each other for a few months but we'd still be able to carry on from where we left off. We get on really well, have similar ambitions and personalities, and most importantly spend most of our time laughing when we're together.
Now, I've always been aware that she has 'more than friends' feelings towards me, she told me not long after we first met. At the time I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, and I told her that, thinking she might walk away, but she didn't, and so our friendship grew, and then a couple years after knowing each other, she told me again that she really liked me, and I was honest and told her I didn't feel the same, again, thinking that it would ruin our friendship and shed walk away, but she didn't and we remained really good friends.
Here's my issue, the past few months I've been getting into the dating scene. I've been on about 15 dates since January and no one had the personality that she has, although they were all pretty gorgeous, I couldn't see myself being compatible with them on a personality level and recently I've been thinking more and more about my friend. My issue is that I just do not find her physically attractive. Without intending to be rude, she's slightly overweight, and just doesn't do anything for me aesthetically. I tend to be into small, petite, natural looking girls and frankly she's the complete opposite!
I guess the question is whether I choose looks over personality or visa versa?
I get on with her so well, and I could happily spend a long period of time with her and never be bored, annoyed or fed up with her presence. But, sexually I do not find her attractive at all.
I really like this girl... BUT, Watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-05-2016 22:14
- Welcome Squad
- 27-05-2016 22:16
what does your heart say?
- 27-05-2016 22:21
You can't force attraction, and let's be real here it's not ALL about personality, if you don't find her attractive then physical intimacy will suffer, which is also a big part of a relationship.
- 27-05-2016 22:24
I'm a woman, and would just like to say this.
If you're not physically attracted to her , it will not work. You clearly love this girl , but not romantically. You are questioning whether you do because you haven't met the right one yet.
We are animals at the end of the day , and if you are not attracted to her , she's not the one. This isn't superficial or shallow, it's science.
It's not even about how he looks, or not being your type. If she was the one, it wouldn't matter, the attraction would be there.
Be thankful you have such a great friendship with this girl , but also be considerate of her feelings for you.
Don't mess her about buying thinking maybe you could "grow" to find her attractive - you won't, or you would have already.
All the best :-)
- 27-05-2016 22:33
Tbh, instead of making a post, wasting about 15 mins of your life, you should have checked the relationships section. Chances are, someone has been through a similar scenario and asked for advice
- 27-05-2016 23:23
Tbh you could have probably avoided wasting the time it took you to write this pointless reply and gone to the pub or something.
- 27-05-2016 23:33
Look mate, if you don't find her attractive physically it will NEVER work. Ask yourself exactly what your looking for in a women like, personality, looks, character and so forth and then go to the establishments they do. For example if you are trying to meet someone into literature and reading, you are not going to find her at a bar. You see what I mean? Create the situation, turn the cards to your favour and she will emerge. Good like mate, tell me how it goes.