Am I a war criminal???
Never done this before, was suggested by a friend to post up my situation here, forgive me if it's in the incorrect section.
So I'm going through a very tough situation, for which I would like to hear your opinions on please.
I joined the Royal Marines in 2012 without my parents knowing. Eventually when they found out, they clearly stated that they will not support me throughout this journey I have chosen. I thought this was just a phase which would eventually fade away, but I was ever so wrong.
After my training was completed, I was deployed to Afghanistan when I was 19 almost immediately. I said farewell to my three sisters which was a very emotional time as you could imagine, however my parents showed no emotion what so ever and didn't even say goodbye for when I left for deployment. They kept saying they will not support war criminals and murderers, so I left without my parents blessing, enroute to a war zone which was the most heartbreaking moment ever...knowing that the chances of me coming back were very slim and that could be the last time I could see them.
Before I left for deployment, my dad told me to remove him as my next of kin, so I had to put my sister as my next of kin who was more than happy to do so. This was one of many lows which I endured.
During the deployment, I used to write home to my family, to which my three sisters always wrote back and sent gifts etc which was very nice & relieving to see, however my parents never wrote back, and according to my sisters they refused to write back.
When I miraculously returned home, we had a homecoming parade to which there were hundreds of family and friends gathered to welcome us home. It was a beautiful moment until I found out that nobody from my family was in attendance. That moment was truly heart breaking to the point I had to fight so hard to keep back tears. I had random people who I've never seen or met before hugging me, with tears of joy welcoming me home which was a very nice and comforting feeling, but my very own ditched me...
I stayed after the parade for about 4/5 hours thinking they may be running late. I was sitting there all alone at the ground in uniform just after dark, where my Captain was going home with his wife and kids and spotted me. He asked me why I'm still here, and figured out what's going on since he somewhat knew my story about my parents. He hugged me and invited me over for dinner at his house, which eventually led to me breaking down into tears. I didn't go for dinner as I'm pretty sure it was a kind gesture, I don't wanna mess up his homecoming lol but the gesture itself melted my heart.
Eventually when I came home, my sisters were full of excitement to see me home, as was I, it was a massive relief. My parents on the other hand, barely showed any emotion once again, they were treating it as if I was coming home from the shops or something. But ah well, atleast I got to see them again which was all I wanted at the time. When I asked my sisters why they didn't come to the parade, they said my parents prevented them from coming...
The first thing my parents asked me after I entered my "home" was if I thought about where I'm going to stay...that was another blow I had to take. I just got home, and it was all good. They kept banging on about how they wont let a war criminal and murderer live under their roof.
My parents wont acknowledge me as their son, whenever someone asks them how many kids they have, they just say they have three daughters...
They wont let me come home to visit my sisters, so we just facetime all the time or organise an outing or something where we can spend time together which is tough.
This whole situation really messed with me mentally/emotionally to the point where peoeple were thinking that I was taking it tough to settle back after the tour. I have to explain to everyone my situation and the fact that the tour itself isn't the issue, it's the **** I had to deal with after coming home which has messed with my head.
I cannot begin to explain how retarded and absurd their arguements/comments are, to the point where I don't even respond or retalliate to their claims. They're very narrow minded and frankly, retarded. I know they're my parents, I still obviously respect them but what they've put me through is utterly wrong and unnecessary.
Do you think what my parents are doing is justified? Do I deserve to go through this?
So I'm going through a very tough situation, for which I would like to hear your opinions on please.
I joined the Royal Marines in 2012 without my parents knowing. Eventually when they found out, they clearly stated that they will not support me throughout this journey I have chosen. I thought this was just a phase which would eventually fade away, but I was ever so wrong.
After my training was completed, I was deployed to Afghanistan when I was 19 almost immediately. I said farewell to my three sisters which was a very emotional time as you could imagine, however my parents showed no emotion what so ever and didn't even say goodbye for when I left for deployment. They kept saying they will not support war criminals and murderers, so I left without my parents blessing, enroute to a war zone which was the most heartbreaking moment ever...knowing that the chances of me coming back were very slim and that could be the last time I could see them.
Before I left for deployment, my dad told me to remove him as my next of kin, so I had to put my sister as my next of kin who was more than happy to do so. This was one of many lows which I endured.
During the deployment, I used to write home to my family, to which my three sisters always wrote back and sent gifts etc which was very nice & relieving to see, however my parents never wrote back, and according to my sisters they refused to write back.
When I miraculously returned home, we had a homecoming parade to which there were hundreds of family and friends gathered to welcome us home. It was a beautiful moment until I found out that nobody from my family was in attendance. That moment was truly heart breaking to the point I had to fight so hard to keep back tears. I had random people who I've never seen or met before hugging me, with tears of joy welcoming me home which was a very nice and comforting feeling, but my very own ditched me...
I stayed after the parade for about 4/5 hours thinking they may be running late. I was sitting there all alone at the ground in uniform just after dark, where my Captain was going home with his wife and kids and spotted me. He asked me why I'm still here, and figured out what's going on since he somewhat knew my story about my parents. He hugged me and invited me over for dinner at his house, which eventually led to me breaking down into tears. I didn't go for dinner as I'm pretty sure it was a kind gesture, I don't wanna mess up his homecoming lol but the gesture itself melted my heart.
Eventually when I came home, my sisters were full of excitement to see me home, as was I, it was a massive relief. My parents on the other hand, barely showed any emotion once again, they were treating it as if I was coming home from the shops or something. But ah well, atleast I got to see them again which was all I wanted at the time. When I asked my sisters why they didn't come to the parade, they said my parents prevented them from coming...
The first thing my parents asked me after I entered my "home" was if I thought about where I'm going to stay...that was another blow I had to take. I just got home, and it was all good. They kept banging on about how they wont let a war criminal and murderer live under their roof.
My parents wont acknowledge me as their son, whenever someone asks them how many kids they have, they just say they have three daughters...
They wont let me come home to visit my sisters, so we just facetime all the time or organise an outing or something where we can spend time together which is tough.
This whole situation really messed with me mentally/emotionally to the point where peoeple were thinking that I was taking it tough to settle back after the tour. I have to explain to everyone my situation and the fact that the tour itself isn't the issue, it's the **** I had to deal with after coming home which has messed with my head.
I cannot begin to explain how retarded and absurd their arguements/comments are, to the point where I don't even respond or retalliate to their claims. They're very narrow minded and frankly, retarded. I know they're my parents, I still obviously respect them but what they've put me through is utterly wrong and unnecessary.
Do you think what my parents are doing is justified? Do I deserve to go through this?
(edited 7 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
Your parents are absolutely NOT justified in treating you so badly. Yes they can object to war etc but the way they are treating you is disgusting to say the least!
I understand they are your parents but they just seem like they only give out negativity. Stay in contact with your sisters but **** your parents. No offence but they sound like utter ***** and don't deserve you as a son.
From the sounds of it, your Captain sounds like a great officer and seems to genuinely care for you, maybe go via the chain of command, and get some support. I could only imagine how hard it must be to deal with this all.
Best of luck mate, just know that you have the majority of the country supporting you!
I understand they are your parents but they just seem like they only give out negativity. Stay in contact with your sisters but **** your parents. No offence but they sound like utter ***** and don't deserve you as a son.
From the sounds of it, your Captain sounds like a great officer and seems to genuinely care for you, maybe go via the chain of command, and get some support. I could only imagine how hard it must be to deal with this all.
Best of luck mate, just know that you have the majority of the country supporting you!
Hey man,
Obviously, no, you don't deserve this. Are your parents very religious or are they just incredibly far left? My advice would be to just move on for now. Do you have any squaddies who you may be able to move in with?
You've no obligation to maintain a relationship with your parents. It sounds harsh but it's true. If they want to get in contact with you in the future just make sure it's on your terms. Hopefully they'll come round but they sound proper bonkers unfortunately.
Cheers
Obviously, no, you don't deserve this. Are your parents very religious or are they just incredibly far left? My advice would be to just move on for now. Do you have any squaddies who you may be able to move in with?
You've no obligation to maintain a relationship with your parents. It sounds harsh but it's true. If they want to get in contact with you in the future just make sure it's on your terms. Hopefully they'll come round but they sound proper bonkers unfortunately.
Cheers
Original post by shreddingfish92
Hey man,
Obviously, no, you don't deserve this. Are your parents very religious or are they just incredibly far left? My advice would be to just move on for now. Do you have any squaddies who you may be able to move in with?
You've no obligation to maintain a relationship with your parents. It sounds harsh but it's true. If they want to get in contact with you in the future just make sure it's on your terms. Hopefully they'll come round but they sound proper bonkers unfortunately.
Cheers
Obviously, no, you don't deserve this. Are your parents very religious or are they just incredibly far left? My advice would be to just move on for now. Do you have any squaddies who you may be able to move in with?
You've no obligation to maintain a relationship with your parents. It sounds harsh but it's true. If they want to get in contact with you in the future just make sure it's on your terms. Hopefully they'll come round but they sound proper bonkers unfortunately.
Cheers
This one
No offense to you, but your parents have what I call "Old People Problems."
First, you are brave to go to a war zone. I am assuming that you went to fight for Queen and Country in the face of grave danger. This deserves great respect to you and your comrades. At the end of it all, you put yourself in danger for the safety of your country and your parents too.
You should have a frank and honest discussion with your parents. If they choose to still cut you off, then you should respect that, but you should still be there for them.
Good luck
First, you are brave to go to a war zone. I am assuming that you went to fight for Queen and Country in the face of grave danger. This deserves great respect to you and your comrades. At the end of it all, you put yourself in danger for the safety of your country and your parents too.
You should have a frank and honest discussion with your parents. If they choose to still cut you off, then you should respect that, but you should still be there for them.
Good luck
Ask them:
Does killing extremist jihadis make me a war criminal?
Does protecting kids from terrorists make me a war criminal?
Does helping families and citizens make me a war criminal?
Ask them what war crime is it that you committed? Because the last time I checked the war in Afghanistan wasn't an illegal war. I think they're getting confused with Iraq, the previous afghan tailban government openly supported terrorism since it was a terrorist regime and is a faction of Al-Qaeda.
Good on you for serving this country, you should be proud! Your parents probably don't even know why there is a war in Afghanistan
Does killing extremist jihadis make me a war criminal?
Does protecting kids from terrorists make me a war criminal?
Does helping families and citizens make me a war criminal?
Ask them what war crime is it that you committed? Because the last time I checked the war in Afghanistan wasn't an illegal war. I think they're getting confused with Iraq, the previous afghan tailban government openly supported terrorism since it was a terrorist regime and is a faction of Al-Qaeda.
Good on you for serving this country, you should be proud! Your parents probably don't even know why there is a war in Afghanistan
(edited 7 years ago)
Thank you for your support guys, you have no idea how much it means to me.
My plan is to get as many replies as possible so I can somehow manage to get my parents to see how other people think about what they have done which could hopefully knock some sense into them.
Once again, many thanks to everyone who made an effort to read through that long essay and commented. I deeply appreciate it.
My plan is to get as many replies as possible so I can somehow manage to get my parents to see how other people think about what they have done which could hopefully knock some sense into them.
Once again, many thanks to everyone who made an effort to read through that long essay and commented. I deeply appreciate it.
i know how you feel. My fam disowned me when i applied for the army and am set to deploy by February. what kind of things they saying to you?
Original post by inhuman
You chose to go kill people for no reason.
You parents had every right to cut ties with you.
You parents had every right to cut ties with you.
Lol no.
You don't deserve that. You've done nothing wrong you just need to try and move on from them
your parents are pathetic mate
Afghanistan was a legitimate war and we had every right to go into the country to remove the Taliban government who were shelteting senior members of Al Qaeda and allowing them to plan attacks from there. We ended up staying and fighting for much longer because the Taliban returned as an insurgency.
The Taliban were not American funded. America supported Afghan rebels in the 1980s, and the Taliban emerged later from some groups, coming to power in 1996. In fact, other remnants of those Afghan rebels America supported in the 80s were the ones we supported to kick the Taliban out in 2001 (the Northern Alliance).
Before the 2001 intervention the Taliban were the government in Afghanistan. Now they are an insurgent/guerilla force. Before and during the rule of the Taliban there was fighting between other groups. The absolute worst you could say about our intervention is that it's not much better, but even that's debatable. I don't think it was even possible to make Afghanistan worse than it was in 2001.
Bin Laden was in Afghanistan for a while, and at the time of the original intervention. At one point he was nearly trapped, but he managed to slip away. Eventually we found him in Pakistan.
The Taliban were not American funded. America supported Afghan rebels in the 1980s, and the Taliban emerged later from some groups, coming to power in 1996. In fact, other remnants of those Afghan rebels America supported in the 80s were the ones we supported to kick the Taliban out in 2001 (the Northern Alliance).
Before the 2001 intervention the Taliban were the government in Afghanistan. Now they are an insurgent/guerilla force. Before and during the rule of the Taliban there was fighting between other groups. The absolute worst you could say about our intervention is that it's not much better, but even that's debatable. I don't think it was even possible to make Afghanistan worse than it was in 2001.
Bin Laden was in Afghanistan for a while, and at the time of the original intervention. At one point he was nearly trapped, but he managed to slip away. Eventually we found him in Pakistan.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by 1999_student
Lol no.
Lol yes.
Original post by Arvin Bhambra
i know how you feel. My fam disowned me when i applied for the army and am set to deploy by February. what kind of things they saying to you?
where you deploying too
To be honest mate, if you actually were/are in the marines (I'm doubtful) then you need to toughen up a bit.
RM training is amongst the hardest in the world, the things you're exposed to is designed to make you be able to handle horrific situations far worse than what you've described.
After all, you don't join for anyone other than yourself.
RM training is amongst the hardest in the world, the things you're exposed to is designed to make you be able to handle horrific situations far worse than what you've described.
After all, you don't join for anyone other than yourself.
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