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First job after uni and I feel I can't do this anymore. Watch

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    Hi everyone,
    I want to give you a summary first and then I will tell you about what my problems are. Maybe you guys can advise me a way out of this... (just to note here, English is not my native language)

    I graduated last June and after endless job applications I managed to secure an interview, and then a second one for a finance office related job in a food manufacturing company where pay seemed a bit higher than average entry level jobs and they were offering study support (for becoming a qualified accountant), plus it was owned by an international firm, which all seemed exciting . But on the minus side the company was in the middle of nowhere. However, I decided to take the job as I was tired of seeking for jobs and started early December. For the first month they offered me a relocation assistance and at the second month I moved to a flat about 35-40 mins away from work by car but close to amenities.


    After 5 months, I feel completely incompetent at my job. The first few months was OK as I was building up knowledge and getting to learn how everything operates. But because of my introverted nature and English being not my first language, I couldn't get to connect well with my co-workers. (their accent is unique to the area as well, which makes it harder to understand their unique words). I get along well with my neighbours, they are nice elderly people but you know, it's not like a mate where you can enjoy a pint and laugh to some stupid sh*t. So I feel lonely as well as I couldn't manage to make new friends.

    It is a job that requires an understanding of manufacturing processes as my main responsibility is to provide product cost estimates for commercial evaluations. But there are no procedures and people are not so organised either!

    Anyway, around my 3rd month, deadlines kick in regarding to a project and the information flow was not so organised and with the lack of adequate procedures for how things are done, I felt really stressed as all the pressure was on me and I think that's when all it started.

    After that week I started to find it hard to leaved bed, hard to wake up and hard to concentrate. I feel like I am not the same person anymore. I used to catch details within things and now I can't notice details as I can't really concentrate on something. My memory is gone, I cannot even recall words, song names, movies .I feel empty-minded, I am shy as well and I don't know what to speak and say to people and keep on a conversation. I even feel like I forgot what I learned at uni.

    I now feel I am an incompetent idiot and feels like I don't understand what's going on around myself.
    Everyday seems the same, I come home I have got only few hours to cook something, maybe watch TV, talk to friends over the phone. and I go to bed around 11 and wake up 6:30 the other day. And it's the same story..
    Its like I live to work rather than work to live!

    All suggesting me I suffer from depression, and I feel so lonely.
    In short, I think I don't like the area I moved to and I don't like the job. I also feel like I am home sick, I am away from my family as well, overseas.

    I can't quit the job unless I secure another one but could't decide what I really want to do. Then I considered masters to help me get away from this lonely monotonous working life syndrome but couldn't decide on that as well...

    Please help me find a way out this...
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    (Original post by cjmus)
    Hi everyone,
    I want to give you a summary first and then I will tell you about what my problems are. Maybe you guys can advise me a way out of this... (just to note here, English is not my native language)

    I graduated last June and after endless job applications I managed to secure an interview, and then a second one for a finance office related job in a food manufacturing company where pay seemed a bit higher than average entry level jobs and they were offering study support (for becoming a qualified accountant), plus it was owned by an international firm, which all seemed exciting . But on the minus side the company was in the middle of nowhere. However, I decided to take the job as I was tired of seeking for jobs and started early December. For the first month they offered me a relocation assistance and at the second month I moved to a flat about 35-40 mins away from work by car but close to amenities.


    After 5 months, I feel completely incompetent at my job. The first few months was OK as I was building up knowledge and getting to learn how everything operates. But because of my introverted nature and English being not my first language, I couldn't get to connect well with my co-workers. (their accent is unique to the area as well, which makes it harder to understand their unique words). I get along well with my neighbours, they are nice elderly people but you know, it's not like a mate where you can enjoy a pint and laugh to some stupid sh*t. So I feel lonely as well as I couldn't manage to make new friends.

    It is a job that requires an understanding of manufacturing processes as my main responsibility is to provide product cost estimates for commercial evaluations. But there are no procedures and people are not so organised either!

    Anyway, around my 3rd month, deadlines kick in regarding to a project and the information flow was not so organised and with the lack of adequate procedures for how things are done, I felt really stressed as all the pressure was on me and I think that's when all it started.

    After that week I started to find it hard to leaved bed, hard to wake up and hard to concentrate. I feel like I am not the same person anymore. I used to catch details within things and now I can't notice details as I can't really concentrate on something. My memory is gone, I cannot even recall words, song names, movies .I feel empty-minded, I am shy as well and I don't know what to speak and say to people and keep on a conversation. I even feel like I forgot what I learned at uni.

    I now feel I am an incompetent idiot and feels like I don't understand what's going on around myself.
    Everyday seems the same, I come home I have got only few hours to cook something, maybe watch TV, talk to friends over the phone. and I go to bed around 11 and wake up 6:30 the other day. And it's the same story..
    Its like I live to work rather than work to live!

    All suggesting me I suffer from depression, and I feel so lonely.
    In short, I think I don't like the area I moved to and I don't like the job. I also feel like I am home sick, I am away from my family as well, overseas.

    I can't quit the job unless I secure another one but could't decide what I really want to do. Then I considered masters to help me get away from this lonely monotonous working life syndrome but couldn't decide on that as well...

    Please help me find a way out this...
    Maybe you could travel and this may help you find what you want to do. What about moving back to be with your family? Have you seen a specialist about the depression? My biggest fear is becoming a cog in society and leading a monotonous life. You could research and find something that truly interests you and train to do that. Sorry that I'm not much help...
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    (Original post by Wordnerd2)
    Maybe you could travel and this may help you find what you want to do. What about moving back to be with your family? Have you seen a specialist about the depression? My biggest fear is becoming a cog in society and leading a monotonous life. You could research and find something that truly interests you and train to do that. Sorry that I'm not much help...
    How do you cope with monotonous life?

    I haven't seen anyone about my depression yet as I only now noticed it's a "depression".
    The thing is when you are in a down mood and depressed, nothing seems interesting. You don't cheer with any kind of music and because you can't concentrate, you can't read a book. Because I am depressed now, I can't really concentrate on a new job, a field of study, or something interesting. I feel like I need to overcome depression first so I can do these things. Right?

    For a new job for example, you need to go through interviews and if you are in a depression I wouldn't think I will give the interviewer the best opinion of my self.

    Other thing is I don't really participate in social activities, I am not a sports person and I suck at teamwork and I am shy and anxious!! Which is probably underlying all my problems. And I know I need to overcome this. But don't know how...
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    I had some of the best times of my life when I was depressed no monotony no mediocrity.
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    Why does it say 1970?? lolol
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    I think when one is feeling low, the most important thing to do is realise the opportunities you have. When you feel low this is very difficult to do but you have many opportunities and options. Perhaps what you need is a complete change, something refreshing. We have established you don't like your job or area so what you need to be working on is finding a new job and applying as we speak. Also apply for any courses at uni that catch your eye currently. Apply to both and see where they could take you. Also, try getting some time off work and visiting home overseas or regularly skyping/facetiming home. I let out my frustration and troubled by writing really descriptive emails to my dad and former teacher, both of whom give me really good advice and help with my struggles. Maybe try that with someone you trust can help you and it doesn't have to be a friend, it could be your mum, cousin, former professor. Talking about things like you're doing right now on TSR can be really helpful in letting out all that frustration. As someone who similarly struggles with social anxiety I think the best thing you could do is trying to engage with co-workers, which I know can be hard to do at first but you need to break down that barrier. Put yourself out there. Also, attend events and random social gatherings that you think would interest you, and meet people there. For this you can just google what events are happening in or near your area. And finally, but most importantly, seek help for your depression, I recently did (last week) and I am very happy about how much I've progressed already. Ignore the stigma against it, trust me, it could help you get back on your feet. Just bring it up with your local GP. Just keep your head up and try your best to be positive, adapt a positive mentality and physically seek a new job, a new uni degree, a new change. It will come if you work, I promise you things will get better.


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    I believe in you man, don't give up. You can still make that change.


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    (Original post by cjmus)
    Hi everyone,
    I want to give you a summary first and then I will tell you about what my problems are. Maybe you guys can advise me a way out of this... (just to note here, English is not my native language)

    I graduated last June and after endless job applications I managed to secure an interview, and then a second one for a finance office related job in a food manufacturing company where pay seemed a bit higher than average entry level jobs and they were offering study support (for becoming a qualified accountant), plus it was owned by an international firm, which all seemed exciting . But on the minus side the company was in the middle of nowhere. However, I decided to take the job as I was tired of seeking for jobs and started early December. For the first month they offered me a relocation assistance and at the second month I moved to a flat about 35-40 mins away from work by car but close to amenities.


    After 5 months, I feel completely incompetent at my job. The first few months was OK as I was building up knowledge and getting to learn how everything operates. But because of my introverted nature and English being not my first language, I couldn't get to connect well with my co-workers. (their accent is unique to the area as well, which makes it harder to understand their unique words). I get along well with my neighbours, they are nice elderly people but you know, it's not like a mate where you can enjoy a pint and laugh to some stupid sh*t. So I feel lonely as well as I couldn't manage to make new friends.

    It is a job that requires an understanding of manufacturing processes as my main responsibility is to provide product cost estimates for commercial evaluations. But there are no procedures and people are not so organised either!

    Anyway, around my 3rd month, deadlines kick in regarding to a project and the information flow was not so organised and with the lack of adequate procedures for how things are done, I felt really stressed as all the pressure was on me and I think that's when all it started.

    After that week I started to find it hard to leaved bed, hard to wake up and hard to concentrate. I feel like I am not the same person anymore. I used to catch details within things and now I can't notice details as I can't really concentrate on something. My memory is gone, I cannot even recall words, song names, movies .I feel empty-minded, I am shy as well and I don't know what to speak and say to people and keep on a conversation. I even feel like I forgot what I learned at uni.

    I now feel I am an incompetent idiot and feels like I don't understand what's going on around myself.
    Everyday seems the same, I come home I have got only few hours to cook something, maybe watch TV, talk to friends over the phone. and I go to bed around 11 and wake up 6:30 the other day. And it's the same story..
    Its like I live to work rather than work to live!

    All suggesting me I suffer from depression, and I feel so lonely.
    In short, I think I don't like the area I moved to and I don't like the job. I also feel like I am home sick, I am away from my family as well, overseas.

    I can't quit the job unless I secure another one but could't decide what I really want to do. Then I considered masters to help me get away from this lonely monotonous working life syndrome but couldn't decide on that as well...

    Please help me find a way out this...
    I hated my job too, it almost drove me insane. I quit. Things are a bit better but can't say I'm happy now either. Maybe find someone filling to support you financially so you can see if the problem really is with the job, or yourself?
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    (Original post by cjmus)
    How do you cope with monotonous life?

    I haven't seen anyone about my depression yet as I only now noticed it's a "depression".
    The thing is when you are in a down mood and depressed, nothing seems interesting. You don't cheer with any kind of music and because you can't concentrate, you can't read a book. Because I am depressed now, I can't really concentrate on a new job, a field of study, or something interesting. I feel like I need to overcome depression first so I can do these things. Right?

    For a new job for example, you need to go through interviews and if you are in a depression I wouldn't think I will give the interviewer the best opinion of my self.

    Other thing is I don't really participate in social activities, I am not a sports person and I suck at teamwork and I am shy and anxious!! Which is probably underlying all my problems. And I know I need to overcome this. But don't know how...
    You need to get some professional help for your depression and maybe you will then be able to change your life for the better. I know that you said you couldn't concentrate enough to read but you should try reading reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig, honestly it is an incredible book and may help you too
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    i'd stick it out, leaving after a few months doesn't look good for your next job. for friends maybe find some kind of local society for an interest you have?
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    (Original post by mxlik)
    I think when one is feeling low, the most important thing to do is realise the opportunities you have. When you feel low this is very difficult to do but you have many opportunities and options. Perhaps what you need is a complete change, something refreshing. We have established you don't like your job or area so what you need to be working on is finding a new job and applying as we speak. Also apply for any courses at uni that catch your eye currently. Apply to both and see where they could take you. Also, try getting some time off work and visiting home overseas or regularly skyping/facetiming home. I let out my frustration and troubled by writing really descriptive emails to my dad and former teacher, both of whom give me really good advice and help with my struggles. Maybe try that with someone you trust can help you and it doesn't have to be a friend, it could be your mum, cousin, former professor. Talking about things like you're doing right now on TSR can be really helpful in letting out all that frustration. As someone who similarly struggles with social anxiety I think the best thing you could do is trying to engage with co-workers, which I know can be hard to do at first but you need to break down that barrier. Put yourself out there. Also, attend events and random social gatherings that you think would interest you, and meet people there. For this you can just google what events are happening in or near your area. And finally, but most importantly, seek help for your depression, I recently did (last week) and I am very happy about how much I've progressed already. Ignore the stigma against it, trust me, it could help you get back on your feet. Just bring it up with your local GP. Just keep your head up and try your best to be positive, adapt a positive mentality and physically seek a new job, a new uni degree, a new change. It will come if you work, I promise you things will get better.


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    Thanks! I came to realization that I am not the only one having the same problems. Seeing my GP tomorrow. Will see how that goes and keep you guys updated. And it definitely helps when I let it out and write it down here.
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    Hey guys, today I handed in my resignation. It was a sad, nervous but happy strange kind of feeling. I even hasitated a moment - am I doing the right thing? I will serve the company for another month.

    An update on GP - he suggested antidepressants. But I'm really concerned about the side effects and even if they will work on me. I know you cannot just quit them and they have serious withdrawal effects. it does really make some people worse. I don't think I will be taking them. I am even anxious they will hurt me instead. Any experience??

    And today I took the half day off and I realized I feel happier when I have more time for myself. I don't know how other people manage full time jobs but as it seems they are not really for me...
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    You must have felt very relieved that you asked to resign and you're still welcome at the company during your notice. When I left my previous job I was told not to come back, even though I would still be "employed" by my company for a month

    Your GP is "one of those" - anyone who presses the antidepressants button is not very understanding of mental health
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    (Original post by cjmus)
    Hey guys, today I handed in my resignation. It was a sad, nervous but happy strange kind of feeling. I even hasitated a moment - am I doing the right thing? I will serve the company for another month.

    An update on GP - he suggested antidepressants. But I'm really concerned about the side effects and even if they will work on me. I know you cannot just quit them and they have serious withdrawal effects. it does really make some people worse. I don't think I will be taking them. I am even anxious they will hurt me instead. Any experience??

    And today I took the half day off and I realized I feel happier when I have more time for myself. I don't know how other people manage full time jobs but as it seems they are not really for me...
    I'm on antidepressants, after refusing them for so long. I had no side effects, I can easily come off them and they have worked wonders! For the first time in my life I'm happy. They're being recommended for a reason, you may as well try
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    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    I'm on antidepressants, after refusing them for so long. I had no side effects, I can easily come off them and they have worked wonders! For the first time in my life I'm happy. They're being recommended for a reason, you may as well try
    Hi, thanks for your reply. how long have you been using them?
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    (Original post by cjmus)
    Hi, thanks for your reply. how long have you been using them?
    Since November I think? I'm planning on coming off them soon, but they really have helped, and so if they've been recommended by a doctor I'd suggest you try it
 
 
 
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