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    I like my boyfriend a lot, but he over analyses everything I do or comment I make and then turns it into some big thing about how I must be sad/jealous/worried etc. This isn't the case, I'm quite a carefree easy going person, I can speak before I think which can cause problems, but most things I say are said as jokes or just as careless remarks without any intent to cause hurt, and generally people understand this and I'd obviously apologize if I've gone too far by mistake. Basically, there's nothing to overanalyse. But lately my boyfriend has just managed to be either offensive to me (I made a self depreciating joke and he turned it into a whole lecture into how it was okay to lack confidence and I shouldn't feel inferior in the relationship) , or too easily offended (I've made the odd joke about the fact he's a little younger than the rest of our friends which he didn't like so I stopped), which leads to arguments.

    He's the quiet thoughtful type, and I'm the exact opposite, and I think this is going to end up ruining the relationship as there's such a personality clash - obviously I don't want this to happen, but how can we see eye to eye?
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    I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with someone who wasn't on the same wavelength as me, they would at least need to have the same humour.

    Umm dunno how you can see eye to eye, sounds like he takes life too seriously.
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with someone who wasn't on the same wavelength as me, they would at least need to have the same humour.

    Umm dunno how you can see eye to eye, sounds like he takes life too seriously.
    But we have lots of other things in common, its just general outlook on life... it's really frustrating :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But we have lots of other things in common, its just general outlook on life... it's really frustrating :/
    Nah it's a big thing to overlook imo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I like my boyfriend a lot, but he over analyses everything I do or comment I make and then turns it into some big thing about how I must be sad/jealous/worried etc. This isn't the case, I'm quite a carefree easy going person, I can speak before I think which can cause problems, but most things I say are said as jokes or just as careless remarks without any intent to cause hurt, and generally people understand this and I'd obviously apologize if I've gone too far by mistake. Basically, there's nothing to overanalyse. But lately my boyfriend has just managed to be either offensive to me (I made a self depreciating joke and he turned it into a whole lecture into how it was okay to lack confidence and I shouldn't feel inferior in the relationship) , or too easily offended (I've made the odd joke about the fact he's a little younger than the rest of our friends which he didn't like so I stopped), which leads to arguments.

    He's the quiet thoughtful type, and I'm the exact opposite, and I think this is going to end up ruining the relationship as there's such a personality clash - obviously I don't want this to happen, but how can we see eye to eye?
    He sounds like an insecure jerk who's passing his insecurities on to you by being constantly argumentative. Either try to find out what he's insecure about.(without offending him ofc) Or end it, because if he doesn't stop being so insecure, it's not going to work out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I like my boyfriend a lot, but he over analyses everything I do or comment I make and then turns it into some big thing about how I must be sad/jealous/worried etc. This isn't the case, (1) I'm quite a carefree easy going person, I can speak before I think which can cause problems, but (2) most things I say are said as jokes or just as careless remarks without any intent to cause hurt, and (3) generally people understand this and I'd obviously apologize if I've gone too far by mistake. Basically, there's nothing to overanalyse. But (4) lately my boyfriend has just managed to be either offensive to me (I made a self depreciating joke and he turned it into a whole lecture into how it was okay to lack confidence and I shouldn't feel inferior in the relationship) , or (5) too easily offended (I've made the odd joke about the fact he's a little younger than the rest of our friends which he didn't like so I stopped), which leads to arguments.

    (6) He's the quiet thoughtful type, and I'm the exact opposite, and I think this is going to end up ruining the relationship as there's such a personality clash - obviously I don't want this to happen, but how can we see eye to eye?
    1) Honestly, being easy going is fine, but it is a good manner to think before you speak, because words are powerful and can hurt someone.

    2) You must be very young. Eventually, you will learn that even if you did not mean to hurt, you did because of a careless joke/remark. Between friends, this is often forgiven, but it can be annoying.

    3) general people understand this? Well, if your boyfriend doesn't understand this or doesn't accept this, you should either talk to him, avoid doing this in front of him and/or compromise with him. You are in a relationship with your boyfriend, not the general people, who may be also careless with words.

    4) I think he was trying to be empathetic and supportive. I don't understand how this is offensive. Maybe his tone was offensive, but the deed was appropriate (i.e. to catch the possibility that my girlfriend is feeling depressed with this weird remark of her).

    5) Well, he did not like because probably that joke would belittle him. Why? Because you are joking about his age and he/people may feel that he is too young to have a relationship and you are just playing with him.

    6) At least you know what type of personality has your boyfriend, so why not be considerate and compromise together?

    Honestly, I feel you guys are ... never mind, enjoy your youth!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1) Honestly, being easy going is fine, but it is a good manner to think before you speak, because words are powerful and can hurt someone.

    2) You must be very young. Eventually, you will learn that even if you did not mean to hurt, you did because of a careless joke/remark. Between friends, this is often forgiven, but it can be annoying.

    3) general people understand this? Well, if your boyfriend doesn't understand this or doesn't accept this, you should either talk to him, avoid doing this in front of him and/or compromise with him. You are in a relationship with your boyfriend, not the general people, who may be also careless with words.

    4) I think he was trying to be empathetic and supportive. I don't understand how this is offensive. Maybe his tone was offensive, but the deed was appropriate (i.e. to catch the possibility that my girlfriend is feeling depressed with this weird remark of her).

    5) Well, he did not like because probably that joke would belittle him. Why? Because you are joking about his age and he/people may feel that he is too young to have a relationship and you are just playing with him.

    6) At least you know what type of personality has your boyfriend, so why not be considerate and compromise together?

    Honestly, I feel you guys are ... never mind, enjoy your youth!
    Obviously I understand what I say can hurt, hence why I would apologize, everyone says careless things it has nothing to do with age.

    He's literally the youngest by about two weeks, and like I said, I stopped

    Self depreciating humour is fairly common among the British, we're not all depressed...

    Anyway thanks, I guess there's always a middle ground
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    (Original post by Jazzyboy)
    He sounds like an insecure jerk who's passing his insecurities on to you by being constantly argumentative. Either try to find out what he's insecure about.(without offending him ofc) Or end it, because if he doesn't stop being so insecure, it's not going to work out.
    Its not so much argumentative, more that he's convinced that he can help me sort out the issues he's decided I have. What's offensive/annoying is having a constant psychoanalysis of everything I do when there's nothing wrong...
 
 
 
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