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    Hi all,

    I am going in the beginnings of my first relationship, kind of. We both want to be in a relationship, and we are giving it the space to grow. The only reason we are not officially classing it as a relationship is because she is still getting over her last relationship, which lasted two years and ended in not very nice circumstances. I have spoken to her about my lack of experience in this situation, which is leading to me being confused. She is amazing enough to reassure me every day that she still wants to be in a relationship, and I totally understand why she doesn't want to rush into it. But, I am afraid that I'll feel this confusion until we're in a relationship or we're certain we are staying as just friends. I know what is going on, but I really don't. It's dragging me down and I do not know what to do. Little things are getting to me in this situation, but all I want is to be with her. I am confused, I am happy but at the same time not, I am just all over the place and need advice on how to deal with these problems. I have said to her that I am ready when she is, but the waiting is driving me insane and I feel guilty. One minute I am fine and the next I am not, but the hardest bit is I know that she wants this as well as she has proven on many occasions, but she is understandably not ready for any sort of commitment. Please help.
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    This is your right hand you're talking about, right?
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    (Original post by The_JoKeR)
    This is your right hand you're talking about, right?
    Surprisingly not
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    (Original post by JSmiggy)
    Hi all,

    I am going in the beginnings of my first relationship, kind of. We both want to be in a relationship, and we are giving it the space to grow. The only reason we are not officially classing it as a relationship is because she is still getting over her last relationship, which lasted two years and ended in not very nice circumstances. I have spoken to her about my lack of experience in this situation, which is leading to me being confused. She is amazing enough to reassure me every day that she still wants to be in a relationship, and I totally understand why she doesn't want to rush into it. But, I am afraid that I'll feel this confusion until we're in a relationship or we're certain we are staying as just friends. I know what is going on, but I really don't. It's dragging me down and I do not know what to do. Little things are getting to me in this situation, but all I want is to be with her. I am confused, I am happy but at the same time not, I am just all over the place and need advice on how to deal with these problems. I have said to her that I am ready when she is, but the waiting is driving me insane and I feel guilty. One minute I am fine and the next I am not, but the hardest bit is I know that she wants this as well as she has proven on many occasions, but she is understandably not ready for any sort of commitment. Please help.
    You may want to be fine with the whole no label thing, but you really arent. Tell her you want to be defined, even though you understand its hard for her. She should understand, knowing you're new to all this, but it may mean you stop seeing each other if she doesnt want the same. Still, you can either go with the flow and continue to stress or just tell her that you want a relationship straight up. I'd say tell her pretty much what you said here.
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    I agree with the above comment but what you haven't said is how long ago she came out of her former relationship and how long the two of you have been seeing each other. I think that does make a difference. It also could be she really likes being with you but is longing for some independent time as well with no strings to anyone. You are a part of this pair and you opinion and needs matter too. So, as the above poster said, you can let her know you want an official relationship (and that is fair for you to be honest) but she may not want that at this point and you risk losing what you have - but that might not be the end result it is just a risk - or you wait it out patiently a while longer (a couple of months) and see if you start seeing her more often, texting more frequently etc. and at that point bring the topic up again. There does come a time where if you want to be official and she is still putting you off you have to decide if it still worth waiting it out or if it is better to just move on. You'll know when that time is right because you'll be tired and frustrated and it won't feel so great when you see her. Hopefully, you two will work it out though. Good Luck!
 
 
 
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