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    I'm quite a shy person and sometimes this can be very frustrating. I'm not good at making new friends becuase when I meet people I'm not very talkative, hence I come accros as weird, miserable and cold when I'm the complete opposite. I have lost many friends who are loud, outgoing etc because they loss patience with me for being shy. Also, I'm not the most handsome bloke in town which doesn't help matters. Strangely my best mate is the complete oppposite to me. He's very loud, extrovert and very outgoing. He's always telling me too build up my confidence but its easier said then done. He always telling me.

    'if I had a 2:1 degree from Manchester Uni and a masters from Bristol Uni and Grade 8 violin like you have, I'd think I'm God''

    It's got to the point where I'm feeling I'll as a result of overthinking about what other people's opinions are of me! I'm just sick of people judging me because I'm not loud and outgoing! I knoow I sound like a total sad case but my low eslf-esteem/lack of confidence is really worrying me!
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    just so you know that it is possible ! i suffered chronic shyness for many years, but gradually i trained myself to cope with social situations. now i am able to function well most of the time and am enjoying life.
    if you want some hints:

    i) nobody gives a :dolphin::dolphin: :dolphin::dolphin: about what you are feeling...

    ii) people feel comfortable with people who look and act like they do

    iii) laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.
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    Instant boost:
    • Listen to badass music
    • Wear clothes you look epic in
    • Force yourself to "pretend" to be confident
    • Eat healthy food and exercise

    Longterm:
    • Therapy
    • Realise that no-one cares about the things that you're self-conscious about, and overthinking is a waste of your life
    • Realise that you don't need to be a loud extrovert to make good friends and have a good life.
    • Spend more time with like-minded individuals or people who push you out of your comfort zone (depending on what you need)
    • Gym, work out, get hench
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm quite a shy person and sometimes this can be very frustrating. I'm not good at making new friends becuase when I meet people I'm not very talkative, hence I come accros as weird, miserable and cold when I'm the complete opposite. I have lost many friends who are loud, outgoing etc because they loss patience with me for being shy. Also, I'm not the most handsome bloke in town which doesn't help matters. Strangely my best mate is the complete oppposite to me. He's very loud, extrovert and very outgoing. He's always telling me too build up my confidence but its easier said then done. He always telling me.

    'if I had a 2:1 degree from Manchester Uni and a masters from Bristol Uni and Grade 8 violin like you have, I'd think I'm God''

    It's got to the point where I'm feeling I'll as a result of overthinking about what other people's opinions are of me! I'm just sick of people judging me because I'm not loud and outgoing! I knoow I sound like a total sad case but my low eslf-esteem/lack of confidence is really worrying me!
    why do you care what people think about you? its your life not theirs, do what you want

    but seriously you need to cheer up and stop being miserable
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by theBranicAc)
    but seriously you need to cheer up and stop being miserable
    Tell me about it! I hate being miserable all day, every day due to worrying about what other people think of me! It's like having a dark cloud constantly hovering over my head!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell me about it! I hate being miserable all day, every day due to worrying about what other people think of me! It's like having a dark cloud constantly hovering over my head!
    what makes me feel confident is when I wear make up and wear clothes which make me look good. It instantly makes me feel so much more confident. Maybe that could help. I understand how you feel, I use to always worry about what people thought of me.
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    I suffer from low self esteem as well. But I've realised that am more likely to open up and not be shy with my kind of people and people who are less judging.
    Every single day, wake up and compliment yourself. If you are walking somewhere and you meet bump into someone, you once talked to, do not put your head down say hi.
    Try to put on a smile as well. When you go somewhere for the first time, do not sit by yourself, join in with other people. Try to make a conversation with them, talk about the weather, what they are wearing or compliment them; just say something positive. And you will realise that you will have a conversation going on.
    I think low esteem is linked with confidence as well. Try out a new haircut, probably grow a beard if you do not have one.
    I am female and this really has had a huge impact on my life from the time I was 12, even during family gatherings, I would not speak to my own family members. They have always known me as really quiet and shy.
    And I have tried the above stuff I have told you and I think I am improving on my esteem.

    Don't forget that you are not alone...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tell me about it! I hate being miserable all day, every day due to worrying about what other people think of me! It's like having a dark cloud constantly hovering over my head!
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    Overcoming low self-esteem requires a complete change of your deeper definitions and concepts of what makes you good enough. On one level, you are connecting your social ability (shyness) as a necessary part of being a good person. These are mere beliefs that you hold. When you are ready to dispose of these beliefs, it clears the slate, allowing you to explore new possibilities of esteem. Shyness doesn't have to make you worthless. When you can accept your shyness, it stops you rejecting yourself, it allows you to explore what is good about you. It may even allow you the patience to develop some social skills, learning how to interact with people.

    I'm not saying this is easy for you. We like to cling to what we know already know. Clearing the slate will create an immediate void but it offers you the choice to rewrite something that is encouraging, helpful and uplifting.
 
 
 
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