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    One of the processes of healing from traumatic events is grief. How do you deal with grief? Besides the obvious, embracing it and crying and being bed bound for days and also besides trying to block it out.
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    iEthan i think this belongs in mental health
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    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    One of the processes of healing from traumatic events is grief. How do you deal with grief? Besides the obvious, embracing it and crying and being bed bound for days and also besides trying to block it out.
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    iEthan i think this belongs in mental health
    I ve always dealt with it slightly differently with each death, I have generally tried to encourage myself to do something which kept a sense of normalcy such as still going to school/uni when I really felt like I couldn't. Everyone grieves differently though.
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    Grief is a tricky feeling to deal with. Sometimes you're told to let it all out and then other times you're told to just keep going because its what the person you lost would have wanted. Me personally, I am usually in a state of disbelief even if I know I'm going to lose that person to whatever illness or circumstance. I can't get my tears out instantly. I just feel numb and keep waiting for the breakdown to come and it can take any time from a few hours after getting the news to even a few weeks after it.

    Until then I try and surround myself with people I love as much as possible as they are usually breaking down before me and need some comfort. I also try and remember that with grief, it's OK to experience any emotion. People think all you feel is sadness but you don't. You feel a mix of things like guilt, fear, hopelessness, regret, numb, despair, anger, resentment at those who couldn't save the person you loved and its important to remember that those feelings are natural and they will come at some point and there's no point trying to swallow them down because they only build up and cause more problems down the line.

    Once the news finally hits me, I breakdown completely. I cry for hours or days, I have panic attacks, I can't eat or sleep and I don't like to be alone. It feels like that first shockwave of grief will never end but it slowly does and each day you learn new ways to accept the news and deal with it a little better. I try and get into a healthy routine as soon as the first major shockwave has calmed down. Its so important to get all the feelings out and take time to face what has happened and take things easy and be good to yourself but it's also important not to wallow in your grief as you never move on that way and it won't help you or bring back your loved one. I used to feel guilty for trying to move on though but I know who I lost wouldn't want me to be in pain forever. I'm sure a lot of people feel guilt at this stage. I go back into a normal-ish routine asap but I do things slower, I try and not jump into the deep end straight away as that'll only burn me out even more.

    I've done this through grief when I've lost family members, friends and pets. You never stop missing the person you've lost but you find ways of coping and accepting. You also learn who you're true friends are in a grief situation as from my experience, so many don't make the cut and help out at a time like that.
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    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    One of the processes of healing from traumatic events is grief. How do you deal with grief? Besides the obvious, embracing it and crying and being bed bound for days and also besides trying to block it out.
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    iEthan i think this belongs in mental health
    Grief is tough. It can vary from person to person quite a lot. I've experienced death a fair ammount and each time I took it differently. Sometimes it was just an empty feeling like something was missing in the world and I would never get it back, sometimes it was numbness, sometimes I even felt guilty like somehow i'd done something wrong. It depends on how you're experiencing it how to deal with it and to be honest I don't think i've ever dealt with it all that well. I think I just rode it out.

    Counselling or terapy can be a good option for a lot of people, but it isn't necessary. Talking and getting out your feelings is also good. If you aren't comfortable talking about it writing it down can also help.
    Try to remember good times and not dwell on the bad. It's very sad when things end, but it's still good that they happened and you shouldn't let anything take that away from you.
    Know that it is okay to feel how you do. It's how people cope and it's all part of the process. Let yourself cry, let yourself be angry at the world, let yourself feel however you need to feel.

    Being bed-bound isn't necessarily the right thing. If it's what you feel you need then stay in bed or don't go out for a while, but try to do something every now and then at least. Something normal to remind you that life keeps going or something special to make yourself smile even for a second.

    I've never been the best at grief (although i'd have thought i'd have enough experience by now) so I can't offer much more than suggesting you look at resources online. Mind.org may have something, but if not ust google "dealing with grief" or something.
    If you'd like to share anymore but don't want to put it out there for all eyes to see feel free to pm me. I often felt alone when I was grieving and I hope that isn't how you feel.
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    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    One of the processes of healing from traumatic events is grief. How do you deal with grief? Besides the obvious, embracing it and crying and being bed bound for days and also besides trying to block it out.
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    iEthan i think this belongs in mental health
    I dealt with a very traumatic, unexpected death a couple of years ago. My best advice is to not rush yourself through the grieving process. Embrace all your memories, continue to talk about them, think of them and have them with you. It's and ebb and flow situation I found; the pain or sorrow came and went and still do now. Try to keep active and maintain a regular routine but also remember it's okay to take a step back and deal with things when you need to or feel you need to take a break. Keep communicating with those close to you and remember it's okay to grieve as publicly or privately as you need to.

    Some days will be easier than others and over time the softer days will preside over the harder ones. I hope I have somehow helped! 'Scribbles and Crumbs' is great for being able to find words to explain what you're going through also- I've always found it comforting since I found it.
 
 
 
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