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Extenuating circumstances and what to do next. Watch

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    I suspect that people will probably already know who I am, but I'm posting anonymously because I don't particularly want to advertise this is me and for those who don't know, I'd prefer to keep it that way.

    I was diagnosed by my doctor with depression and anxiety two years ago and began therapy a year ago. At the time, it didn't really impact my schoolwork. The anxiety manifested itself in an obsession with perfect grades: I'd go to bed at 1 am and set my alarm for 4 am to do homework.

    I received an offer from Cambridge (42 776) for my dream course and I was consistently on target to exceed the terms of my offer. My insurance was Durham (38 666). Come results day, I got 38 765. If I had achieved 2 more UMS in each IB component, I would have had 43 776. We spent £410 on remarks to no avail. Cambridge took six weeks to reject me and in the meantime, Durham had rejected me and I lost the option of joining any viable courses througg clearing. I was devasted; the depression hit and I cried constantly and barely left my bed, never mind my house.

    Cambridge advised that I resit; take an A Level; and reapply. In October I went back to school, hoping to do my resits, an EE and complete two A Levels in the space of nine months. School was terrible. I was in classes with people two years younger than me. The depression got worse and I cried daily in the common room and missed classes (whilst catching up on the work in my own time, mind).

    I was then rejected by Cambridge pre-interview, with an apology for misleading me. I couldn't drop out of school because bar an unconditional from Bristol, I hadn't yet received all my offers. At that point I gave up.

    Abuse TW:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    On New Year's Eve, I went clubbing with a couple of friends and was raped by a stranger. Two weeks later, a friend of a friend who knew what had happened exploited my vulnerability and it happened again. I chose not to tell anyone about either instance for a while and definitely did not want to go forward to the police. My therapist failed to understand why I'd kiss a stranger in a club without wanting more and continuously suggested I had wanted it to happen. I stopped attending therapy in February. I dropped out of school shortly afterwards upon receiving my other offers.


    I have UCL as my firm, requesting 39 with 19 at HL and a 6 in SL Maths. Bristol is my insurance with an unconditional.

    I resat two subjects in May, which is significantly less than I initially set out to do. I did not prepare enough for these exams; I spent hours staring at my ceiling surrounded by textbooks and paper, but I couldn't bring myself to do what was required. I have been working nine hour shifts since March to make myself busy so I don't have to think about things and I love my job.

    I am on a waiting list to receive counselling from London Rape Crisis charity and have been since February. I thought it would be easy to forget but it wasn't.

    ED TW:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    On top of this, I've been struggling with bad thoughts and an eating disorder that's been on and off since I was twelve, but is really bad at the moment.


    I am terrified I am not going to get into UCL. I only needed to do marginally better; one UMS more than last year overall in each subject, but I don't think I've managed it. I don't want to leave London. The thought of being away from my family and my job and my friends scares me so much now. I'm not ready to move far from home anymore. I love the course I'm going to do: I've read the books on the reading list; I've written essays in my spare time; and I know I'll really thrive on it. I'm hoping to receive therapy over the summer and hopefully this will put me in better stead for first year.

    I don't know what to do. Taking another gap year is not an option, but I don't want to move away from where I am and where I feel safer and where my mum is only round the corner fo a cup of tea and a hug. I don't know if extenuating circumstances is an option, but any advice at all would be much appreciated.

    Thanks.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suspect that people will probably already know who I am, but I'm posting anonymously because I don't particularly want to advertise this is me and for those who don't know, I'd prefer to keep it that way.

    I was diagnosed by my doctor with depression and anxiety two years ago and began therapy a year ago. At the time, it didn't really impact my schoolwork. The anxiety manifested itself in an obsession with perfect grades: I'd go to bed at 1 am and set my alarm for 4 am to do homework.

    I received an offer from Cambridge (42 776) for my dream course and I was consistently on target to exceed the terms of my offer. My insurance was Durham (38 666). Come results day, I got 38 765. If I had achieved 2 more UMS in each IB component, I would have had 43 776. We spent £410 on remarks to no avail. Cambridge took six weeks to reject me and in the meantime, Durham had rejected me and I lost the option of joining any viable courses througg clearing. I was devasted; the depression hit and I cried constantly and barely left my bed, never mind my house.

    Cambridge advised that I resit; take an A Level; and reapply. In October I went back to school, hoping to do my resits, an EE and complete two A Levels in the space of nine months. School was terrible. I was in classes with people two years younger than me. The depression got worse and I cried daily in the common room and missed classes (whilst catching up on the work in my own time, mind).

    I was then rejected by Cambridge pre-interview, with an apology for misleading me. I couldn't drop out of school because bar an unconditional from Bristol, I hadn't yet received all my offers. At that point I gave up.

    Abuse TW:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    On New Year's Eve, I went clubbing with a couple of friends and was raped by a stranger. Two weeks later, a friend of a friend who knew what had happened exploited my vulnerability and it happened again. I chose not to tell anyone about either instance for a while and definitely did not want to go forward to the police. My therapist failed to understand why I'd kiss a stranger in a club without wanting more and continuously suggested I had wanted it to happen. I stopped attending therapy in February. I dropped out of school shortly afterwards upon receiving my other offers.

    I have UCL as my firm, requesting 39 with 19 at HL and a 6 in SL Maths. Bristol is my insurance with an unconditional.

    I resat two subjects in May, which is significantly less than I initially set out to do. I did not prepare enough for these exams; I spent hours staring at my ceiling surrounded by textbooks and paper, but I couldn't bring myself to do what was required. I have been working nine hour shifts since March to make myself busy so I don't have to think about things and I love my job.

    I am on a waiting list to receive counselling from London Rape Crisis charity and have been since February. I thought it would be easy to forget but it wasn't.

    ED TW:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    On top of this, I've been struggling with bad thoughts and an eating disorder that's been on and off since I was twelve, but is really bad at the moment.

    I am terrified I am not going to get into UCL. I only needed to do marginally better; one UMS more than last year overall in each subject, but I don't think I've managed it. I don't want to leave London. The thought of being away from my family and my job and my friends scares me so much now. I'm not ready to move far from home anymore. I love the course I'm going to do: I've read the books on the reading list; I've written essays in my spare time; and I know I'll really thrive on it. I'm hoping to receive therapy over the summer and hopefully this will put me in better stead for first year.

    I don't know what to do. Taking another gap year is not an option, but I don't want to move away from where I am and where I feel safer and where my mum is only round the corner fo a cup of tea and a hug. I don't know if extenuating circumstances is an option, but any advice at all would be much appreciated.

    Thanks.
    You need to stop worrying about moving from home, I know that being raped brings fear throughout your life and constant worrying of what will happen next. For A-Levels just focus more on them than work, just need to do a little bit better, to get your DREAM course which can lead on what you want to do. You can't let previous events from pursuing your education, if you do otherwise you will live in fear for your whole life. Just think about what could go right instead of wrong.
    • #1
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    (Original post by zXcodeXz)
    You need to stop worrying about moving from home, I know that being raped brings fear throughout your life and constant worrying of what will happen next. For A-Levels just focus more on them than work, just need to do a little bit better, to get your DREAM course which can lead on what you want to do. You can't let previous events from pursuing your education, if you do otherwise you will live in fear for your whole life. Just think about what could go right instead of wrong.
    I know you meant well, but that was really unhelpful.

    I am not ready to move far away from home (I will live out) and now I have a fantastic job, which makes me want to go even less. I've also already done my exams.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know you meant well, but that was really unhelpful.

    I am not ready to move far away from home (I will live out) and now I have a fantastic job, which makes me want to go even less. I've also already done my exams.
    Do whatever you want then, stop asking strangers on TSR.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    OP, is there any way you can go back to therapy - but to a different therapist? What your previous therapist said was extremely rude and a disgrace. It sounds like you seriously need help and now. I would suggest going back to your GP and discussing your options. I don't think it's right for you to sit and wait for the London Rape Crisis charity when you have gone through so much and are struggling so badly.I know what it is like to be a perfectionist, honestly, I do, so if you ever need a chat, my inbox is always open. :hugs:
 
 
 
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