Once a cheat, always a cheat?

awww im so sorry u have to go through this =[

this realy is a hard one.

one of my girl mates went out with a guy. then he got drunk and slept with his ex. she was devistated but took his word that it would never happen again and tht he cudnt remember anything.

they have been just about happy ever since =]

but it might not be the same. u sound like u reli reli reli love this guy and i know who it feels to love sum 1 that they r ur whole world then feel that uve lost them.

u 2 need to talk, face to face. and he needs to tell u if he had sex becuase he wasnt getting any, or if it was reli his drunkness. u can normaly tell in person.. becuase of the body language.

im no expert cos i havnt experienced this situation b4.

all i can give u is all my wishes that u sort this out! there must be sumthing u can do without loosing him.... except giving him sex... DONT give in to him

He said he loves me and sees me more as someone he just wants to have sex with. He's been really great about things that have gone on since we've been together, and I was really beginning to trust him, but then he goes and does this. It wasn't an ex he slept with but some randomer on a stag night, I don't know what's worse.

It's really crap and I don't know how I'm meant to feel. My first thoughs was to just get out of there, but I spoke to a friend who told me to give him a chance. I feel really guilty cos he's not getting what he needs in a relationship so it's my fault, I can't blame him for looking elsewhere.

I sound so pathetic but I have no idea what I'm meant to do. I hate asking for help, especially on an internet forum, but it's hard talking to friends cos I feel they're pushing me one way or the other.

Why does this have to be so hard?

He said he was drunk and it was only sex and to get over it

Urgh writing this down makes it all real, I guess I’ve been burying my head in the sand these past few days. Yes I’m devastated that he’s had sex with someone else, but I can understand why. He has needs and I obviously don’t make him happy, so maybe I need to change. It’s just really hard to think of my life without him he’s become such a big part. I can talk to him about anything, we have so much fun, he makes me feel safe, like I say everything was going so great, no signs of him being drunk, but then he does that. It might have been because he was drunk but he keeps saying its only sex and doesn’t matter, that I’m making a big deal out of it, and maybe I am. I just think sex should be between people who love eachother, not ****buddies or anything. I don’t know maybe I’m a prude.

Sorry I make so little sense, I’m confusing even my self. Blame the vodka.

I just really wish it hadn’t happen and I didn’t have to make a decision. I did see him, to apologise for what I did when he told me, but it felt weird, fake. He thinks we can move on, I want to talk about everything, but I don’t know if I can bear to. It’s hard cos all my family and friends loved him, he was one of us, but now it’s all messed up and crap.

So you would stay with him just because you don't like change? Thats so ridiculous. There are plenty of people out there that will love and respect you - and most definitely not cheat on you.

It's hard because you like him but with hindsight you will look back and wonder what on earth you were thinking. Have some self respect! Clearly your values on sex and relationships in general are completely different, it doesn't sound like the best relationship you are ever going to have. You really need to find someone who likes you back just as much as you like them.

I know that its a horrible thing to hear but surely you can see that breaking up is the best thing to do?

Urgh writing this down makes it all real, I guess I’ve been burying my head in the sand these past few days. Yes I’m devastated that he’s had sex with someone else, but I can understand why. He has needs and I obviously don’t make him happy, so maybe I need to change. It’s just really hard to think of my life without him he’s become such a big part. I can talk to him about anything, we have so much fun, he makes me feel safe, like I say everything was going so great, no signs of him being drunk, but then he does that. It might have been because he was drunk but he keeps saying its only sex and doesn’t matter, that I’m making a big deal out of it, and maybe I am. I just think sex should be between people who love eachother, not ****buddies or anything. I don’t know maybe I’m a prude.

Sorry I make so little sense, I’m confusing even my self. Blame the vodka.

I just really wish it hadn’t happen and I didn’t have to make a decision. I did see him, to apologise for what I did when he told me, but it felt weird, fake. He thinks we can move on, I want to talk about everything, but I don’t know if I can bear to. It’s hard cos all my family and friends loved him, he was one of us, but now it’s all messed up and crap.