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    This is hard to write as many people will not understand but I will give it a shot. I am 24 my boyfriend is 28 he is a banker and I am a trainee solicitor. I have been with him for 5 years and he is most certainly the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

    The problem is my parents do not know about him. My parents are very strict and I think my mum suffers from some sort of mental health condition. She wont let me do anything away from her, for instance if I want to see a friend for coffee she will pretend she is sick and tell me if I leave her im an awful daughter. When I last had a boyfriend when I was 17 (a male friend I went to the cinema with) they locked me in my room threw my car keys away and took my phone until I stopped seeing him. My parents are sometimes quite violent aswell. This is why I haven't told them about my partner because I am scared of what they will do to me.

    The obvious answer is to leave my boyfriend has said hes happy for me to live with him. But I cant seem to leave my parents I am still terrified of upsetting them and want to please them. I have been seeing a councillor as due to home issues I do suffer from quite bad depression. My councillor says she thinks I have a sort of Stockholm syndrome.

    My dream is that my parents accept me and my boyfriend and we all live happily after. The reality is likely that I either have to pick my boyfriend or my family. And I don't know what to do. I am saving £600 every month until January as an emergency fund so if I need to leave home I can. My boyfriend is meeting my parents In January (im introducing them as a new boyfriend) in a bid to see if they will accept us. If they don't then I guess I have no option but to leave. I don't really know what advice I am asking for I guess just any advice on my situation. I feel like such a awful person I spend most of my time crying about it and feeling sad all the time
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is hard to write as many people will not understand but I will give it a shot. I am 24 my boyfriend is 28 he is a banker and I am a trainee solicitor. I have been with him for 5 years and he is most certainly the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

    The problem is my parents do not know about him. My parents are very strict and I think my mum suffers from some sort of mental health condition. She wont let me do anything away from her, for instance if I want to see a friend for coffee she will pretend she is sick and tell me if I leave her im an awful daughter. When I last had a boyfriend when I was 17 (a male friend I went to the cinema with) they locked me in my room threw my car keys away and took my phone until I stopped seeing him. My parents are sometimes quite violent aswell. This is why I haven't told them about my partner because I am scared of what they will do to me.

    The obvious answer is to leave my boyfriend has said hes happy for me to live with him. But I cant seem to leave my parents I am still terrified of upsetting them and want to please them. I have been seeing a councillor as due to home issues I do suffer from quite bad depression. My councillor says she thinks I have a sort of Stockholm syndrome.

    My dream is that my parents accept me and my boyfriend and we all live happily after. The reality is likely that I either have to pick my boyfriend or my family. And I don't know what to do. I am saving £600 every month until January as an emergency fund so if I need to leave home I can. My boyfriend is meeting my parents In January (im introducing them as a new boyfriend) in a bid to see if they will accept us. If they don't then I guess I have no option but to leave. I don't really know what advice I am asking for I guess just any advice on my situation. I feel like such a awful person I spend most of my time crying about it and feeling sad all the time
    The worst thing to do in this situation is to become sad or upset in any way, but i understand what u are trying to say as it is hard to choose between ur parents and bf, but i believe that if u think that he is the one, then tell them i am sure that they wouldnt mind, they may have minded when u were 17, as they may of thought of u as too young to have a bf, but anyway its ur life and its your choice of what u want to do, u are 24, u have the right to make ur own decisions
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    You are an adult woman of 24yrs old, training to be a solicitor. You are entitled and expected to make your own decisions about your own welfare in any aspect of your life. Stop trying to please parents, that's not your job. They will love you whatever happens, parents may get mad but we still love our kids.

    If you want to pave the way for a smooth introduction it may be worth bringing your boyfriend's name into conversation as a friend. If your parents won't even accept that, then honestly? You should consider moving out sooner rather than later. Work with your counsellor to make that happen should you decide to.

    It's all great living with your parents as an adult whilst you all get on but that means your parents should respect you as an adult and not as a child.
 
 
 
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